This afternoon the boys and I were heading home. We had placed an order for roti (yes, we actually have a hole that makes it) and went to pick it up. It isn't in the best area for parking and kind of grungy part of town. I pull right in from of the place and asked Max to grab our order.
I gave him three $20 bills... not sure how much it was. I guess Max went into the store and realized he dropped a bill or two. As he came out he saw this lady picking up the money.
The store owner came out with him as she saw the lady pick up his bills.
This girl said she dropped the money and was picking it up. Max had dropped two of the $20s.
The girl walks off. Max is disturbed.
What person takes from a child?
Obviously someone who needed the money.
And for us, it was just a bit of an eye opener. There are some not so nice people in Peterborough too.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
The Power of Protein!
I have been blogging mostly the trials of a moody teenager. Right now I know that we can't survive another month the way it has been.
We were getting hair cuts a couple of days ago, something that takes about an hour and bit to have all 6 heads looking handsome. Usually during this time, the older ones wander around the stores near by, usually Sports Chek. They come back with a want list... and then continue to dream.
Sammy saw a ball cap. "Can you get this for me?" he asked.
"Can you stop with your moodiness for a week?" I asked. Can you sense my desperation? I am not beyond bribery or positive incentives!
OK... was the deal... one week of controling his moodiness and the ball cap will be his. Part of this is to simply calm him down to a place of talking to him without his attitude plugging his ears.
After talking to a friend about his moods etc., I realized that food was part of his issue. I have always known that when he is hungry, he is unreasonable. Yet it was pointed out to me the importance of PROTEIN and how much we need (even children).
I am not a huge fan of protein in general. Carbs are my friend. So I struggle to ingest an adequate amount myself. We always have the typical meat, carb and veggies kind of meal at home. But when we eat out, I am not usually on top of it. And I did not realize the amount of protein that one needs in a day!
I pointed out to Sammy that we needed to make a conscience effort of eating protein at each meal and snack time. He is not a big breakfast person. Shakes... he likes. So it is making sure that is happening.
Lunch is not his favorite time either, unless it is gourmet. So he is not really eating enough to ward off his moods.
Interesting... in the last 24 hours, with constant efforts of food and making protein a big part of his diet, we have had A FULL DAY without mood swings!
ONE DAY! Hey, if it means a hat a week... protein power... and no moodiness... I am all for it!
PROTEIN! It is its own SUPERHERO!
My brother's response to this was "who knew that eating properly would be the answer!" He is such a smart mouth.
Happy Birthday Zachary!
My sweetie pie Zachary has turned 7 years old!
I can truly say life without Zachary would be like never seeing the sun shine! He is such a bundle of joy, robust energy and full of curiosity. He is never still. He loves everything boy. Dirt, bugs, bikes,skateboards, snowboards, and has an unusual shoe fetish!
Sanj and I always planned on 4 children but never 4 boys. So we had another child. It was so in God's plan for this wonderful boy to fill our home with that element that only Zach could fill.
Happy Birthday Zachary Thomas!
Oh how much I love you!
Stay just as you are... well a little quieter would be OK! :)
You will be what ever you want to be!
You are an amazing boy!
I am so proud to be your mom!
I love you infinite!
I can truly say life without Zachary would be like never seeing the sun shine! He is such a bundle of joy, robust energy and full of curiosity. He is never still. He loves everything boy. Dirt, bugs, bikes,skateboards, snowboards, and has an unusual shoe fetish!
Sanj and I always planned on 4 children but never 4 boys. So we had another child. It was so in God's plan for this wonderful boy to fill our home with that element that only Zach could fill.
Happy Birthday Zachary Thomas!
Oh how much I love you!
Stay just as you are... well a little quieter would be OK! :)
You will be what ever you want to be!
You are an amazing boy!
I am so proud to be your mom!
I love you infinite!
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Dreamer!
One of the things I love about my children is watching them dream BIG! I love that they have dreams that are not tarnished by little things such as money and reality. They don't have limitations in their dreams. Oh to bring that trait into with you into adulthood is such a wonderful thing. You always have your dreams!
I remember when Tyler was a bit younger... he really believed that he would one day play hockey in the NHL. Oops... he is reading over my shoulder and says, "I still will, you know I will!"
Love it! He lives and breathes hockey (and golf). A few years ago he wrote a story about going to a game and Toronto goalie got hurt. They called Tyler to fill in! He was thrilled! The story goes on to tell of the amazing moves he had and the start of his dream coming true.
Josh... dreams of becoming Indiana Jones and a mall cop!
Then there is Zach. He is a dreamer. He is actually saving his money for his dream... to own a ATV! His piggy bank holds less than a dollar in change. Yet he talks about WHEN he gets his ATV he will...
Tomorrow is his birthday. What I love about being a parent is being able to make a dream come true whether it is a big one or a small one!
Dreams! I think that the only way to live is to continue dreaming. Dream big! Dream about tomorrow! Just Dream!
Smarties
Today Josh had a lovely play date with one of his little friends. It is always great to go to a friend's because the toys are new and he is happy and occupied. He is not yet real social away from his brothers.
I was able to chat and catch up with my girlfriend. We talked about a variety of things, yet one stuck out in my mind. Egos... and how we let others make us feel about ourselves. They may not do this intentionally yet we (in our insecurities) make it about us.
She was saying how not having gone further in her education, can feel inferior or less than in that area with someone who may have gone to university etc.
The funny thing is that as I was driving home I realized that I feel so unlearned when I am with her. She is so educated on nutrition, health, and life in general. She is brilliant and a true motivational speaker. After I am in her presence for just a bit, I leave so motivated to be better or do better for myself and my children.
I love it! She is a wealth of knowledge. She is so smart and real and her spirit is simply refreshing.
So I realized as I walk away... feeling like there is so much I am not doing for my kids (not that she made me feel this way... I am making myself feel this way).. I have to realize that we are each gifted in special areas. This is what makes us who we are.
I am sure that I have strengths and continue to seek those out. Yet I appreciate and enjoy her company for the wealth of knowledge I get from our conversations. I love the trueness of our friendship. There is no fluff. Just real appreciation and love and gratitude for the gift that friends are in our lives.
What better school than the knowledge that comes from friends? I don't feel like I have much to "teach" her... but hey one never knows what is being passed.
So I realize that life is the best teacher... God puts into our path just the right relationship at the right time. Ever wonder how so and so had been in your life for years... yet NOW you have developed a real friendship? Why now? I don't wonder anymore. I know that I will be blessed by this person at some point and it is all simply about God's time not ours.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Out of the Box
I am a person that has had to teach myself that I am smart. Or rather, that I am not dumb. In school, I never did exceptionally well. There was classes I did great such as grade 7... I am sure I did good. I had the biggest crush on Mr. Taylor. So I was engaged.
On the whole I sucked. When it came time for the standard testing that they do ... you remember... those tests that you fill in the circles... I filled the circles by making patterns. Or maybe it was time to circle B because I already squiggled too many A's and C's.
I don't remember being hyper active but judging myself as an adult, I am sure to be classified as ADHD if I were in school today.
Why is it that people with energy have to be classified? Why is it that there isn't something to describe the normal person... with not as much energy?
Really, as one time teacher... why have we not done something about the kids that don't learn inside the box? Why are they are classified?
As I watch a couple of my sons that don't learn in the box... the sitting down, taking notes, concentrate quietly, I found myself fuming. Why don't we test how kids learn as young ones and then teach them that way? If you are a right brain child and have extra energy flowing through you... you are lost.
Well there are schools but you would have to pay money most don't have. So I feel frustrated for those kids that are labeled.
I feel bad that hyper activity is a negative.
Yet check this out:
Ansel Adams (1902-1984) — Photographer
Ann Bancroft — (1931-present) — Actress
Alexander Graham Bell — (1862-1939) — Telephone Inventor
Harry Andersen — (1952-present) — Actor
Hans Christian Anderson — (1805-1875) — Author
Beethoven — (1770-1827) — Composer
Harry Belafonte — (1927-present) — Actor, Vocalist
Col. Gregory "Pappy" Boyington — (1912-1988)
WWII Flying Ace (Black Sheep Squadron Leader)
Terry Bradshaw — (1948-Present) — Football Quarterback
George Burns — (1896-1996) — Actor
Sir Richard Francis Burton — (1821-1890)
Explorer, Linguist, Scholar, Writer
Admiral Richard Byrd — (1888-1957) — Aviator
(Was retired from the navy as, "Unfit for service")
Thomas Carlyle — (1795-1881)
Scottish historian, critic, and sociological writer
Andrew Carnegie - (1835-1919) Industialist
Jim Carrey — (1962-present) — Comedian
Lewis Carroll — (1832-1898) — Author (Alice in Wonderland)
Prince Charles — (1948-present) — Future King of England
Cher (1946-present)— Actress/Singer
Agatha Christie — (1890-1976) — Author
Winston Churchill — (1874-1965) — Statesman (Failed the sixth grade)
Bill Cosby — (1937-present) — Actor
Tom Cruise — (1962-present) — Actor
Harvey Cushing M.D. — (1869-1939)
Greatest Neurosurgeon of the 20th Century
Salvador Dali — (1904-1989) —Artist
Leonardo da Vinci — (1452-1519) — Inventor, Artist
John Denver — (1943-1997) — Musician
Walt Disney — (1901-1971)
(A newspaper editor fired him because he had "No good ideas".)
Kirk Douglas — (1916-present) — Actor
Thomas Edison — (1847-1931) — Inventor
(His teachers told him he was too stupid to learn anything)
Albert Einstein — (1879-1955) — Physicist
(Famous Tongue Sticking Out Picture)
(Einstein was four years old before he could speak,
and seven before he could read)
Dwight D. Eisenhower — (1890-1969) — U. S. President, Military General
Michael Faraday — (1791-1867) — British Physicist, Chemist
F. Scott Fitzgerald — (1896-1940) — Author
Malcolm Forbes — (1919-1990) — Forbes Magazine Founder & Publisher
Henry Ford — (1863-1947) — Automobile Innovator
Benjamin Franklin — (1706 - 1790) — Politician, Elder Statesman
Galileo (Galilei) — (1564-1642) — Mathematician, Astronomer
Danny Glover — (1947-present) — Actor
Tracey Gold — (1969-present) — Actress
Whoopi Goldberg — (1955-present) — Actress
Georg Frideric Handel — (1685-1759) — Composer
Valerie Hardin — Gothic Poet, Artist, Children's Author
Mariette Hartley — (1940-present)
Actress (Tells of her and daughter's ADD)
William Randolph Hearst — (1863-1951) — Newspaper Magnate
Ernest Hemingway — (1899-1961) — Author
Mariel Hemingway — (1961) — Actress
Milton Hershey — "The Chocolate King" — (1857-1945)
Dustin Hoffman — (1937-present) — Actor
Bruce Jenner — (1949-present) — Athlete
Luci Baines Johnson (1947-present) — LBJ's Daughter
"Magic" Johnson — (1959-present) — Basketball Player
Samuel Johnson — Author
Michael Jordan — (1963-present) — Basketball Player
John F. Kennedy — (1917-1963) — U. S. President
Robert F. Kennedy — (1925-1968) — U.S. Attorney General
Jason Kidd — (1973-present) — Professional Basketball Player
John Lennon — (1940-1980) — Musician
Frederick Carlton (Carl) Lewis — (1961-present)
Olympic Gold Metalist, American track-and-field athlete.
Meriwether Lewis (Lewis & Clark) — (1774 -1809) — Explorer
Abraham Lincoln — (1809-1865) — U.S. President
(Entered The Black Hawk War as a Captain and came out a Private)
Greg Louganis — (1960-present) — Olympic Gold Medalist (Diving)
James Clerk Maxwell — (1831-1879) — British Physicist
Steve McQueen — (1930-1980) — Actor
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart — (1756-1791) — Composer
Napoleon Bonaparte — (1769-1873) — Emperor
Nasser (Gamal Abdel-nasser) — (1918-1970) — Egyptian Leader
Sir Issac Newton —(1642-1727) — Scientist, Mathematician
(Did poorly in grade school)
Nostradamus — (1503-1566) — Physician, Prophet
Ozzy Osbourne — (1948-present) — said he was ADHD on TV
Louis Pasteur — (1822-1895) — Scientist
(Rated as mediocre in chemistry when he attended the Royal College)
General George Patton — (1885-1945) — Military
Pablo Picasso — (1882-1973) — Artist
Edgar Allan Poe — (1809-1849) — Author, Poet
Rachmaninov — (1873-1943) — Composer
Eddie Rickenbacker — (1890-1973) — WWI Flying Ace
John D. Rockefeller — (1839-1937)
Founder, Standard Oil Company
Nelson Rockefeller — (1908-1979) — U.S. Vice President
August Rodin — (1840-1917) — Artist, Sculptor
Anna Eleanor Roosevelt — (1844-1962) — First Lady
Pete Rose — (1941-present) — Baseball Player
Babe Ruth — (1895-1948) — Baseball Legend
Nolan Ryan — (1947-present) — Baseball Player
Muhammad Anwar al-Sadat — (1918-1981) — Egyptian President
Nobel Peace Prize Winner in 1976
George C. Scott — (1927-present) — Actor
George Bernard Shaw — (1856-1950)—Author
Will Smith — Actor, Rapper, Entertainer
Tom Smothers — (1937-present) — Actor, Singer, Entertainer
Socrates — (469-399 B.C.) — Philosopher
Suzanne Somers — (1946-present) — Actress
Steven Spielberg — (1946-present) — Filmmaker
Sylvester Stallone — (1946-present) — Actor
Jackie Stewart — (1939-present) — Grand Prix Hall of Famer
James Stewart — (1908-1997) — Actor
Henry David Thoreau — (1817-1862) — Author
(Lev Nikolayevich) Leo Tolstoy — (1828-1910) — Russian Author
(Flunked out of college)
Alberto Tomba — (1966-present) — Italian Alpine Ski Champion
Vincent van Gogh — (1853-1890) — Artist
Russell Varian — (1899-1959) — Inventor
Jules Verne — (1828-1905) — Author
Werner von Braun — (1912-1977) — Rocket Scientist
Flunked 9th grade algebra.
Lindsay Wagner — (1949-present) — Actress (Bionic Woman)
Gen. William C. Westmoreland — (1914-present) — Military (Vietnam Era)
Robin Williams — (1952-present) — Comedian
Woodrow Wilson — (1856-1924) — U. S. President
Henry Winkler — (1945-present) — Actor (Fonzie)
Stevie Wonder — (1950-present ) — Musician
F. W. Woolworth — (1852-1919) — Department Store Innovator
(While working in a dry goods store at 21, his employers wouldn't let him
wait on a customer because he "Didn't have enough sense.")
Frank Lloyd Wright — (1867-1959) — Architect
Orville Wright — (1871-1948) — Airplane Developer
Wilber Wright — (1867-1912) — Airplane Developer
William Wrigley, Jr. — (1933-1999) — Chewing Gum Maker
William Butler Yeat
I don't know who every one is but do know that they are all famous for amazing contributions to society. They also all have/had ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder).
One day maybe my name will be listed.
Short attention span, moving a mile a minute are not bad qualities. They are just characteristics that can be misunderstood or even annoying. Yet if embraced and encouraged, if modeled and shaped in positive ways... imagine what can come out of the box!
Giftedness and greatness that did not fit in a box!
Ready or Not... Here JK Comes!
The school's Weekly Word came home and said that JK/SK Days were Feb. 25th! Josh will get to go into his classroom and spend some time playing and checking it out! Oh My Goodness!!!
I am not sure I am ready. I am not sure HE is ready! Today while at the Y, he had to go poop. As I was helping him, I said, " You know you will have to learn to clean your own bum... Mommy won't be there to help you at school."
His reply was " What if my finger goes IN my bum?"
Oh dear!
Later, as I was helping him pull up his pants, again, I mentioned his need to do things on his own. " What will you do at school, with no one there to pull your pants up?" I asked...
"I'll walk naked to my class!" was his reply!
No doubt he would! So I know they say empty nest syndrome is when your child leaves your home for university... um what about when they leave you for junior kindergarten???
Oh dear. I am not sure I am ready for this. Sammy (a day or two) and Tyler (six weeks) had adjustment periods going to school. Jordan, Max and Zachary were ready and delighted to go to their brothers school.
Then there is the baby. He isn't a baby anymore. I know this. I try to make him do things himself. I leave him in care at the Y for the time I work out. I am trying to cut the cord bits at a time. But maybe because he is the last one or maybe we just have a different bond... but the cord keeps bouncing back like a Slinky!
JK open house is the beginning. I feel funny. Maybe I need a puffer. Maybe I need a _____________ ... I don't know.
LIfe is coming at me too fast. High school and JK all at the same time!
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Blogger's Block
I haven't written since mid-week. Partly, because I have had a "writer's block" so to speak. Silly. Sanj keeps insisting that I need to write for me... not the readers (the couple that humor me).
Yet I have had a block. I have plenty of thoughts over the week yet they have failed to make it onto my blog.
Other things I just can't write... as someday I may be hurt by the boys... if all that goes on were written about!
And so it is Sunday and I feel the need to write. Let's see what comes out!
I was the first one to talk about Facebook. I didn't understand this people who commented on what they were doing every few hours. But I have to admit, as my "friends" list grows, I am one of those hooked on it.
I like the fact that you can see what people from" yesterday" have been up to, or look at their pictures of family and friends. It is a great way to catch up and peep into someone's life. It is a nice way to have people in your life that you wouldn't normally stay in touch with every day.
I also like the fact that you can go on line and know that someone you know is on line too.
OK, maybe I am a loser. But I have so many friends from years ago. We will always be friends. But not the kind of friends that will chat or write every day or even once a month. But I know that in the world of cyber space, we are connected. I like that.
I like that you can write a liner to their comment and not feel rude or obligated to write a "catch up " letter. I like being "friends" with my friends children, so I can see into their world and "know" them in a way I wouldn't otherwise.
So I am a Facebook junkie. Later in the evening, while Sanj is studying or out... I know that there is someone there from "my world" that is there with me.
Is this pathetic or what? Probably. But I am enjoying it!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
A Moment
Today I drove the boys to school in my pajamas. I left Josh at home with Jordan (who is sick) and Sanj.
As I pulled out of the school parking lot, I had a moment. My big 12 passenger van was silent! Deathly silent. I looked back and realized that I was alone!
This is going to be what 8:46 a.m. feels like next year (at least 3 days of the week). It seems weird and a bit unnerving. My heart raced a bit. As much as I am ready for this next phase, I am not. I am not sure WHAT I will do with out my side kick, Josh, hanging on my body.
And the silence... I am not sure about that. I am not a person that likes to be alone for long periods of time. Maybe I will learn to like. I am not sure.
Thank goodness there is still 230 days, give or take, to get used to the change.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
History!
I love watching the coverage today! (I also got ALL the laundry finished!!!) I am taken by the Obama family. I love watching the girls! What lovely girls! I love Michelle's poise and confidence. I love the interaction between them. I love President Obama's calm.
I feel calm just watching him. Of course none of this right now is about government or politics. It is about people. I had so many thoughts today as I watched:
Was he lonely? How much he must miss his mother and grandmother.
How amazing it must be to know that he is part of history... a part of a huge history.
What does one do after being president? He will still be young....
What I loved about this family is that it is about family. The chemistry and connection between each other is inspiring.
It is about family. It is about history, past and present. It is about people believing, needing to believe, ready to believe again.
I pray for President Obama... that God will guide him, use him and keep him close in His care.
I pray for a nation... a world.
History... a beautiful thing... today was amazing and inspiring!
Sunday, January 18, 2009
We Are One!
Tonight I felt the goosebumps, the anticipation, the hope and change... as we watched "We Are One... Obama Inaugural Celebration."
I wish so badly I could have been there. I am an American in my heart as I spent so many of my years there. I am so full of the hope for a nation, really a world that is so desperate for change.
It is a beautiful thing to see this family ... to see history made ... to see dreams of so many people of yesteryear come true.
May God Bless Us!
Saturday, January 17, 2009
6:39 a.m. SATURDAY MORNING!
Really... need I say more? I am so *&^%%$^$^%&*&^*&!!! My kids can NEVER wake up on time EVER... for school. Yet it is 6:30 a.m. and they are all awake. WIDE AWAKE!
I am so not happy.
I am so not happy.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Friday Night
Growing up we were raised in an Adventist home. Sabbath begins sundown Friday night and ends sun down Saturday night.
Sanj is on the piano playing a hymn, it is dark outside and suddenly I have this overwhelming feeling of homesickness for home.
Not sure what that means, maybe yesteryear. Maybe I miss my brother. We spend many a Friday night worshipping, planning a worship or hanging out with friends.
Friday nights at university were special too. We took effort to look good, went to worship and left full of Worship.
Maybe I miss that... being full.
There is something so peaceful about Friday nights. Maybe it is the farewell to a busy week, the anticipation of breaking away from routine and just being. Whether it is spent alone or with family and friends, I love Friday nights. I think it is my favorite day.
Maybe it would be nice to just go home for a while. I know that seems to come up often in my blog. Guess it is a real loss I feel. I really hope that my children will one day appreciate having home... a place you can go and just be.
What does that mean? It means you are, for that period of time, not wife, mother, friend... whatever role you are all the time... you can just stop and be.
Just for a short while. Then you go back to the real world and it is all good. Maybe home is like going out for recess.
Family Day
Today Sanj took the day off thinking he would get some snowboarding in. Since the weather was -20 something that didn't happen. So as we all woke up slowly, sluggish and unwanting to start the day... we decided that everyone would skip school and we would go to breakfast and then go cheer Max's game.
This week is the Atom Hockey Tournament... it is a big deal for kids in hockey ages 9-10. They get to miss a bit of school and it is their moment to shine.
Well within 5 minutes of making the decision to skip school, it suddenly felt like um maybe not. So begins the day. Unfortunately Sammy begins his attitude right away. It is not yet 8 a.m. Zachary is over tired. Josh is Josh. Sanj is frazzled.
The countdown to this day being over has begun.
I think that part is expectation. In my head, I see a warm fuzzy family moment. I see overly tired kids and feel like what a great day it would be for them to just be able to relax. PSH........... the wand is cast.
Yet they are still kids full of complaint about each other, so and so touching each other, whatever. So in my head the warm fuzzy didn't happen because I would have to rid myself of at least half the children. Sanj probably just needed to have the day to himself.
We still have the weekend to be together. And everyone seems grumpy. Maybe this is family day... or maybe everyday is family day.
I feel like I am the only one that appreciated our togetherness. Yet didn't really appreciate it because there was no appreciativeness in the others. Does that make any sense?
The reality is this is us. There is constant appreciation and unappreciation. There is laughing and crying. There is sharing and complaining. There is pinching and hugging. There is noise. Quietness usually eludes us... until that noise is taken over by snoring. There is disappointment and moments of pride.
So was the day. The good parts were Jordan being given the OK to play hockey by his eye doctor. The boys have discovered Gilligan's Island... black and white TV and loved and laughed through it. Max played a great game and had a good time.
I loved when Tyler went to Max and said, "Wow Max, you skate really fast." Just what Max needed to hear from his brother! I loved that all my men have a common interest that keeps them connected... hockey.
So despite the disappointments of this day... I loved it. I loved us just being together.
These are just moments of the day (pictures)... taken by different boys.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
If you are happy and you know it...
Is ones attitude a personality thing? Do some people just have a "woe is me" personality?
I am beginning to think so. Sanj and I are very much opposites, as I have said many times. I am a glass half full most of the time and he would wonder why his glass was half empty. Yet it works for both of us in our own way.
Sanj's attitude towards life pushes him to constantly seek out the things in life that he wants for himself and his family. He works like a dog, plays like a boy and loves with all his heart. Yet he has a very small select few people he likes and an even smaller few that he loves.
Part of this is he is constantly seeking the definition of love. "How do you know you love your dad?" is a question he asks.
Well, I am a person who simply loves. The definition is not as important as what I feel in my heart... in the deepest place... it is just a given. I know if I love you. I don't have to know you for years. I just have to know that in my heart you feed me or maybe I need to feed you. That is good enough for me.
I usually love until I am hurt, then I will question the relationship. And yet as with my dad... I am and have been hurt yet that love is there. It is just there... as I breathe.
"Love makes the world go round." If there isn't love, what do you really have? Money? What good is money when you have no one to share it with? (well I suppose it can be a good companion if you have to be alone)! :)
It is the one thing that people yearn for. Even if they find it in an animal ... their pet... it is something.
So it does disturb me that Sanj is so analytical about things. He says "HE KNOWS" he loves me. Yet how does he really know?
Back to the orignal question... personality. I would say you are born with the disposition you have.
Each of my boys have such different personalities. You have read that Zachary is my child with a sunny happy life is great attitude.
Then take Jordan... despite whatever the circumstance... he is more "life is hard... woe is me." He reminds me of my mother-in-law and her out look on life. I suppose he is alot like Sanj. And since he does not have a different life than his brothers in reality... it must be his personality to be like an Eeyore.
Good or bad? I guess there isn't a real answer. Sanj was saying to me that "when I met you (in university) you were happy. You really didn't have a lot to be happy about up until then."
And yet to me, it is perception... I felt I had a lot to be happy about. I was free. I was blossoming and learn to spread my wings. I was exhaling! I had survived.
So can everyone be happy? Is it a choice? Or is it just part of your mechanics that some people will spend their life with dissatisfaction being part of their equation?
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Ridiculous...
The weather outside is frightful... isn't that a song? Well it isn't a happy tune. Tonight the temperature is going to dip to a cool -30 Celsius!!! That is not taking into account the wind which is howling and blowing snow around everywhere!
I think that it should be a cold day rather than a snow day.
Brrrrrrrrrrr...
I think that it should be a cold day rather than a snow day.
Brrrrrrrrrrr...
Yum!
This is a great recipe that I often make when I have friends over for lunch. It is great with a salad. It is a great vegetarian wrap and you can mix it up with anything you have on hand or add meat if you want.
Spread a wrap with plain cream cheese evenly to the edges.
Cut bit size broccoli and red peppers and boil to softened to your liking.
Drain.
Place veggies in the middle of wrap length ways... add shredded Chedder cheese and diced green onions.
Roll up wrap... place on cookie sheet and cover with foil (if you like it crispy don't cover)...
Place in oven until heated through and cheese is melted.
Enjoy!
Spread a wrap with plain cream cheese evenly to the edges.
Cut bit size broccoli and red peppers and boil to softened to your liking.
Drain.
Place veggies in the middle of wrap length ways... add shredded Chedder cheese and diced green onions.
Roll up wrap... place on cookie sheet and cover with foil (if you like it crispy don't cover)...
Place in oven until heated through and cheese is melted.
Enjoy!
Ill- equipped!
It is 1:45 p.m. and as I watch the clock tick away I am wishing the day would slow down. I found that my early afternoons just go by too fast... Then it is 3 p.m. before I know it.
Pick up time. I am not sure what pick up time will hold. So as I watch the clock tick away i feel frustration and sadness flowing over.
God sure knew what He was doing when He made babies first. Cute, cuddly and they smell wonderful. The teenager... I am not sure that phase is even necessary. I am at a loss. My child that was at least happy part of the time is now full time surly, full of attitude, and ugly... hurtful.
I feel like I should send him to his room and just have a food/water machine in his room. I am not equipped to deal with him.
I do remember thinking my parents were dumb. I remember wishing I could be with my friends all day. But I would never voice or show that disrespect out loud. It was all locked up in my head. The one time I did voice back sarcastically, "Yes Ma'am" to my mom, I got slapped across my face and my glasses went flying.
So I am frustrated with knowing how to deal with a child that defies us at every turn. I am frustrated that he does not appreciate the life he has. I am frustrated that he does not understand that his actions have consequences.
I pray that the next sons of mine are not going to be as hard to deal with. I hope that I learn the key to coping with teenage years.
I am overwhelmed with a feeling of stress as I pick him up, knowing a smile is highly unlikely and that I will have done something totally annoying even before I pull up.
Lord Have mercy.
Pick up time. I am not sure what pick up time will hold. So as I watch the clock tick away i feel frustration and sadness flowing over.
God sure knew what He was doing when He made babies first. Cute, cuddly and they smell wonderful. The teenager... I am not sure that phase is even necessary. I am at a loss. My child that was at least happy part of the time is now full time surly, full of attitude, and ugly... hurtful.
I feel like I should send him to his room and just have a food/water machine in his room. I am not equipped to deal with him.
I do remember thinking my parents were dumb. I remember wishing I could be with my friends all day. But I would never voice or show that disrespect out loud. It was all locked up in my head. The one time I did voice back sarcastically, "Yes Ma'am" to my mom, I got slapped across my face and my glasses went flying.
So I am frustrated with knowing how to deal with a child that defies us at every turn. I am frustrated that he does not appreciate the life he has. I am frustrated that he does not understand that his actions have consequences.
I pray that the next sons of mine are not going to be as hard to deal with. I hope that I learn the key to coping with teenage years.
I am overwhelmed with a feeling of stress as I pick him up, knowing a smile is highly unlikely and that I will have done something totally annoying even before I pull up.
Lord Have mercy.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Sugar and Spice and All Things Nice
I feel like I am finally getting back to normal... Jordan will be going back to school tomorrow morning and life goes back to the good ole routine. I have missed the gym. I am so looking forward to just working out.
I have been really bad with giving into the crap my body seems to crave... almost need when I feel a little emotionally off balance. Unfortunately this could be every few hours! You know what is one of my favorite sinful indulgences? Wonder bread, soft... lathered with butter and then sugar. If you nuke it for a few seconds, just to melt the butter a smidgen... oh... butter and sugar...
every bit of emotional discombobulation disappears for the 20 seconds it takes to let that melt down.
Another favorite... cake icing. Or a pinch of brown sugar... that is soft. Hum... wonder why I am diabetic?
Ok I could go on. I am sure most of us could. Well not all of you... you know who you are... those of you that are walking around with my body... the one I see in my head.
But... hey... tomorrow I begin again.
Can't wait. There is something to be said about routine.... bring it on.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
"Hee Hee Ha"... Or Is It "Ha Ha Hee?" (Lamaze)
Our weekends are usually filled with hockey. Sanj does as much as possible but since he coaches many of the boys teams, I am usually covering drop off and pick up... etc. This ends up taking most of our Saturdays.
Today was one of those days. Tyler and Jordan's team was in a tournament... so that was all day. As I went through my day... I felt like a great comparison of hockey is much like labour and child birth.
Laboring, breathing, being brave, wondering why the hell am I here, push, push, push... and then... as I get home, do all the things that need to be done... wait for it....
AWWWWWWWWWWW... my head barely touches the cool of my pillow and I feel my shoulders relaxing... just as the doctor catches the baby.
Hearing the calling of "MOMMY" after my head hits that pillow is much like the doctor pushing on your belly after the child is out... to get that placenta out.
They love hockey! Love it. Jordan has been moping around saying "I hate my life," as his expression of missing this tournament.
I always pray that I see the play that they are reciting back to me in the car. "Did you see me mom... when I deeked that guy?"
What the heck is deeked???
So I will do the hockey mom thing... for many years to come as I will continue to pray that the vasectomy worked!
Daddy
This is a picture of my dad. I can't help but stare at this picture. I see my past when I look into his face. I see his smile, I see his expressions I knew so well... so long ago. Now I see him I feel sad. I feel sad that he has to live the last years alone. I feel sad for the ending of his life story.
He looks so much like his mother. Am I in that face? Do you see me?
I found a copy of a "book" I wrote 10 years ago. It is pretty much what I would write now. Except the ending.
Back then, I had so much anger and wanted to hurt someone. I needed to place blame for all the suffering. But really it is about different people making choices. It is about time and consequence. It is about hope and love. It is about God's faithfulness.
I look at this picture of my dad and hope that in his soul there is goodness. I hope that if God sees goodness there, that my father will be found faithful to be in heaven, healed and whole. I hope that he will see me, run to me and hold me. I hope that I will see and feel that love oozing out for me. But by then, being in heaven, it won't matter what the results end up being ... it is a place of eternal happiness.
Not sure where this comes from except that seeing him triggers a feeling of wanting. Maybe that never will go away.
Maybe because he is a part of me. I can accept life as is... and I am grateful to be in a place of acceptance of what he can offer me. Yet the child in me still yearns.
Friday, January 9, 2009
A Full LIfe
Today was my aunt's funeral. Many of my cousins flew in from various places to pay their respects. My brother was filling me in on the day's events. Despite the occasion, it is the only time we all come together.
As my brother was telling me about the funeral and what was said about my aunt, I couldn't help wonder what would be said at mine.
What do you say when someone has not lived their life to the fullest of their potential? What do you say about some one that is mean or chooses to keep the world at a distance? Do people just make up stuff?
What will be said at my dad's funeral... what about my mom's?
What kind of a legacy am I leaving?
Just thoughts that have been running through my head... as one generation leaves this life one by one.
Do you ever wonder who will show up? Who will cry? What will they remember... what will their fondest memory be?
LIve each day as if it is your last.
Will you have live to the full potential that God intended?
Greatest Compliment (I Think)...
Yesterday we were out, and Josh looks at me and says" Mommy, I want to be just like you!"
I was so touched. Then it was followed by, "Can you ask Helena (our hairdresser) not to cut my hair?"
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Failing Parenting 101
If I knew know what I do, would I have kids? Hum... not a good question to ask me tonight. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids with all my heart... with every part of me... I am not sure there is any even left. I want so much for them.
My biggest want is for them to be kind to each other. IS THAT ASKING TOO MUCH? Oh yah, they have their moments. But can those moments not be minutes, hours, days... a life time? Will that ever happen?
What an evening. I realize that is part of the drama from tonight. A ridiculously long evening for anyone to bare.
Pick up from School, Guitar lessons for Tyler and Jordan, Sammy is at a after school Volleyball game, go to his game, then take him to his hockey game... Sanj picks up the boys from guitar, coaches the hockey game, and is off to a board meeting right after the game. I stick around for the game to bring all the boys home and then do home work and bed.
I am frazzled. I am tired. So I know they are tired. But is this a right to be mean?
What am I doing wrong? I don't feel I am cut out for parenting... to be responsible for raising kind, loving, responsible men.
I don't want to mess this up. I just don't have the answers. Is there a parent hotline? Maybe that is children's aid services!
I am so grateful for my family. I love them so much. I am just tired of the constant bickering and issues that never go away.
I am failing parenting 101... maybe I need The Nanny!
My biggest want is for them to be kind to each other. IS THAT ASKING TOO MUCH? Oh yah, they have their moments. But can those moments not be minutes, hours, days... a life time? Will that ever happen?
What an evening. I realize that is part of the drama from tonight. A ridiculously long evening for anyone to bare.
Pick up from School, Guitar lessons for Tyler and Jordan, Sammy is at a after school Volleyball game, go to his game, then take him to his hockey game... Sanj picks up the boys from guitar, coaches the hockey game, and is off to a board meeting right after the game. I stick around for the game to bring all the boys home and then do home work and bed.
I am frazzled. I am tired. So I know they are tired. But is this a right to be mean?
What am I doing wrong? I don't feel I am cut out for parenting... to be responsible for raising kind, loving, responsible men.
I don't want to mess this up. I just don't have the answers. Is there a parent hotline? Maybe that is children's aid services!
I am so grateful for my family. I love them so much. I am just tired of the constant bickering and issues that never go away.
I am failing parenting 101... maybe I need The Nanny!
Dear Anonymous(s)
One of the greatest joys as a wanna be writer is feedback and opinions. I love hearing others thoughts. Of course there are many times that I may not agree with the opinion given back... but I appreciate the time taken and respect your opinion.
Should I care who Anonymous is? Probably not. I know who the 1st Anonymous was... but apparently there are more.
I am not asking you to come out of the closet... but I am just curious. It is the nature of the beast!
WHO ARE YOU? Do I know you? Ok... if it stops you from writing... than continue to be Anonymous.
But if you want to make me happy... you can just e-mail me with who you are... reemasuk@hotmail.com
To all of you who read my blog... thank you for doing so!
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Resolved
So I have made a decision. After reviewing the last few days... what I really do at home in the evenings, I have realized that I will have to put my career as a real estate agent on hold for now. That time will come but it is not now.
I am a little disappointed, as I have envisioned myself with cool working clothes, being all business-like. But yet it is a decision that is made. I will revisit it at another time.
What I have decided to start is writing my book... a book. I am excited, scared and overwhelmed. But I know that it is going to be a journey and so what better time to start then now.
I have always dreamed of this ... I hope that if this is God's will, as I feel it is, then all the pieces will fall into place.
So... this is one of my big goals for 2009... just to write.
I want to really devote some time to photography to. Just learning my camera better and snapping shoots.
Along the same line is to take some video. We are so bad about video taping just for fun.
I am excited. I am full of thought. Oh dear, here come the sleepless nights.
Jordan's Eye
Yesterday we went to the specialist in Peterborough to see how Jordan's eye is. After 5 days, more bed rest than a 11 year old can handle... there is significant improvement.
On Sunday, when the doctor checked his sight, he could not see out of that eye. Yesterday the blood was significantly reduced, though there is still some there, and his vision is back and equal to his other eye.
He is still on bed rest till at least Friday and no physically activity at least for 10 days. He is a bit devastated because he will miss a big tournament this weekend.
The doctor mentioned how lucky he was that his eye is healing so nicely. I know this isn't luck. Thank you all that have prayed for him. I know that God has been good to us.
Have you ever tried to keep a 11 year old boy down? We are redefining "bed" rest!
So thank you... and a note to all of you air soft gun owner... dangerous... not a toy!
This is one way to amuse your self in bed...
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
CPR... Anyone?
Have you ever felt like you were about to embark on something big? Or new or life changing?
I feel this in the pit of my stomach. Maybe it is know that I will soon be part of the working world. Or maybe it is something totally different. I feel I have so much to give or share. What that is? I am not really sure. Part of that is simply hope.
I feel there is a sense of helplessness within women... an overwhelming sense of loneliness. I am not sure... but part of what I feel is the need for sisterhood. For women to know that they are not alone in their worries and sadness. Often what women feel, whether it is under appreciated, tired or the endlessness of life... it is a universal feeling.
Unless you have a great girlfriend who is really open... you don't realize that what you are feeling is pretty normal.
Have you ever just wanted to get in the car and drive? Drive away from life ... even for just a short time? What if all you had to think about was yourself?
I feel a big something in my heart. Writing feels a part of it... yet I am not sure. I just know it will be changing. Maybe life changing for me... and maybe someone else... in a good way.
I feel a little jittery with the uncertainty of it all. Suddenly the real estate course is becoming a question rather than a period.
Part of that is Sanj. He said last night... "I am not sure how it will be with you working evening and weekends..." Then another lady that I know in that business said something similar.... that made me question it again.
Then I feel this book thing in the back of my mind. Yet it is such a huge daunting task, one that requires me to be emotionally ready, that perhaps I am being a Jonah. Maybe this is my calling and I am ignoring it out of fear or uncertainty. And can I make a living as an author?
Right now I am having serious heart palpitations and no one is here to give me CPR...
So please, if you have a moment, could you say a prayer for me? That God gives me clarity. Then strength, then wisdom... and money to ride the ride.
Why are all these doubts coming NOW? I felt so clear and certain. Now I feel like I have NO ANSWERS.
Well except that I never want my cleaning lady to not come!!! (Her absence over the holidays was felt and I am not meant to clean full time... as it turns me into a -itch. Thus I need a job, if only to continue to support this necessity).
So... what is this blog about? Confusion. The need for a good cry. To simply be cleansed. I need answers.
Can I really write a book? My arms have gone weak.
I better lie down. Help!
The Epiphany... resolved
As I was laying in bed last night... I realized that perhaps it isn't about forgiveness. Perhaps it is simply about acceptance.
Acceptance of my mom for who she is... the good, bad and ugly. So she wasn't the mom I needed her to be... so save me from the big bad wolf... but she did the best she could, I suppose. I mean, most parents will do their best.
So, suddenly it isn't about being let down and needing to forgive... That brings up a bigger issue... if you read the comments on forgiveness. But rather, acceptance. I have to simply (or not so simply) accept my mom for all she is or isn't.
I feel lighter... a little bit more free. Only she has to live with her life. I have to live with some of the consequences of that life chosen but then I get to move from that point to claim or live out my own destiny.
Does this make sense?
Acceptance of my mom for who she is... the good, bad and ugly. So she wasn't the mom I needed her to be... so save me from the big bad wolf... but she did the best she could, I suppose. I mean, most parents will do their best.
So, suddenly it isn't about being let down and needing to forgive... That brings up a bigger issue... if you read the comments on forgiveness. But rather, acceptance. I have to simply (or not so simply) accept my mom for all she is or isn't.
I feel lighter... a little bit more free. Only she has to live with her life. I have to live with some of the consequences of that life chosen but then I get to move from that point to claim or live out my own destiny.
Does this make sense?
Monday, January 5, 2009
The Epiphany!
I love my mom. If love were enough, life would be easy... well easier. I have struggled for many many years on why she made some of the choices she did. I have judged her harshly for those decisions partly because they impacted my life directly.
As I became a mother, many moons ago, I found my anger towards her bubbling over. I never understood how she allowed us to live with a monster. I never understood why she did not walk away. I never understood not having strength to walk away from hell.
As she has "grown" over the years, she can see the imprints on our lives from surviving the childhood that we had to. It has taken years for her to shun what society, family and friends dictated to her for many many miserable years... and for her to claim her life as hers.
I can't lie and say that it is OK that she does that now... because I have forever wished she was strong enough to had made that choice when it would have impacted us (her children)... saved us from so much pain and hurt. Yet... I am thankful that she HAS made the the choice. Maybe she was forced to make the choice. But she still has to live with the choice.
I have wondered at what I viewed as her weakness. I never understood why she allowed her siblings to bully her. I never understood this and viewed it as weakness.
Over the last little while, I have met a lady from Iran. She moved her with her husband. After a period of time, she decided that living with him was unacceptable. His behavior and attitude was not something she could live with ... unless she compromised herself.
So she has left him. She has no family her. She has come into a culture totally different than her own. She is unsure where or what this means. She loves him yet can't not live with him unless he changes. So she lives continues to live her life, one day at a time. Sad and unsure. Desperately sad. Yet she has a belief system that she can not bend and live with her self.
I think of her often. Suddenly I can't help thinking of my mom. Young, alone and scared. Her family (when she did ask once for help...) said no, suck it up. Never again does she ask. If your family is not going to help you, why would you turn to a stranger? So she lives a life as she only knows. Day by day. Month by month. Years pass and you learn to survive. You look for little happiness' ... eventually living through your children... their happiness becomes your happiness.
I have wanted my mom to be sorry... to feel that let down that I feel. I am not sure what I wanted... but maybe just to punish her for the pain. Punishing her for not being stronger. Punishing her for having to become the parent. Punishing her for feeling for so many years as an orphan.
Maybe sometimes it is really just about personality. Maybe sometimes some people can rise in the midst of hell and walk out.
And maybe some people are just strong enough to survive it. Really who am I to judge?
As I think of my own children and the kind of mom I am to them... I am not perfect. There are so many ways that I fall short... and KNOW I am falling short. Yet as I keep living one day after another, I can't help but simply pray that they will know how much I love them. In the end, they will know, that I simply loved them and did my best. All I can hope for is that my best is enough for them. That my children will forgive my shortcomings and accept my love ... as simple as that.
Do I wish my mom was stronger? Definitely. I wish she would stand up to her sister and call her what she is. I wish my mom would not let my children push her around. I wish she had more purpose in her life than her children. I wish that she had true joy. But then maybe she does. Maybe that is what gives her joy, her grandchildren. Maybe living her life through us is enough for her.
Who am I too judge? Everything happens for a reason. If my mom had made different choices, maybe I would not be living my life as I know it. I would not be able to share the pains of others as my own. I would not be able to be grateful for every little blessing in my life... a dependable car, dependable husband, dependable friends... everyday blessings that I know are gifts.
So as I continue to look at my friend from Iran and cheer her on from the side lines, I know that she has paid a big price for her beliefs. I know my mom has paid a price ...a huge one.
She did what she could do at that moment. I know it was her best. Why wouldn't do their best for their child? And if they do not, then imagine what they must live with?
So I feel a huge freedom. I feel that my mom made choices in her life that were life altering. But the bottom line is if she did not make those decisions, I would probably not have my life as I know it.
So ... I give God thanks for all His protection and strength. Really it is only through His love that I survived. And I thank my mom for doing her best. I can only appreciate that to the fullest as a parent, trying to do right by my own precious beings.
It's A Hairy Issue!
Ever since I was young I have had hair issues. In my heart, I am a short hair person. I love the very short Halle Berry look. I even went so far as to get a similar cut when I turned 30.
I learned a valuable lesson. What the salons don't tell you is that you may like the hair cut... yet I was very disappointed with the results. Oh, she cut my hair just like the picture... yet what I learned that was so much more important to achieve that look is that I lacked that face!!!
Traumatized, I have never chopped all my hair off again. So now, it is a choice with long hair with layers with no bangs, or with bangs or no layers with or without bangs.
I may play with the level of longness... but it is got to be longer than a bob.
Here is one of my issues... do you ever notice that the senior ladies, for the most part, have short hair? It must be part of a retirement contract or something. SHORT HAIR! The ones that do have long hair have kind of a hippy thing going on.
So what are my choices? Sanj tells me I have major worries... and really I do! Big ones. But sometimes it is the small ones like an appropriate senior haircut that keeps my mind occupied!
So I am trying out new hair ideas.. .What do you think?
I learned a valuable lesson. What the salons don't tell you is that you may like the hair cut... yet I was very disappointed with the results. Oh, she cut my hair just like the picture... yet what I learned that was so much more important to achieve that look is that I lacked that face!!!
Traumatized, I have never chopped all my hair off again. So now, it is a choice with long hair with layers with no bangs, or with bangs or no layers with or without bangs.
I may play with the level of longness... but it is got to be longer than a bob.
Here is one of my issues... do you ever notice that the senior ladies, for the most part, have short hair? It must be part of a retirement contract or something. SHORT HAIR! The ones that do have long hair have kind of a hippy thing going on.
So what are my choices? Sanj tells me I have major worries... and really I do! Big ones. But sometimes it is the small ones like an appropriate senior haircut that keeps my mind occupied!
So I am trying out new hair ideas.. .What do you think?
Age Old Mud Slinging
My mom's family is in Maryland preparing to bury my aunt on Friday. Her remaining siblings are all there... my mom and 2 of her remaining sisters and her sister-in-law. They have gathered together to perhaps find comfort in each other's presence. Or maybe they are together because it is what people do when someone dies.
Many of my cousins are there... we tend to see each other ... it seems only at funerals now.
My mom has lived a life of being bullied. As a child, she was picked on by her siblings. Perhaps it was just the typical sibling stuff yet it had a significant impact on her self-esteem or lack there of. She was taunted with things as being to dark, or ugly. Instead of getting past this, she allowed it to dictate her view of herself.
She married "later" in life and "settled" for someone that would become her biggest bully. Again she lived with it. She fought back in her own way, yet live her life as a victim.
Back in the presence of her sisters, she is being bullied again. Jealousy causes her sister to resort to the age old method that worked. Even in their 70s... they continue to be hurtful. My aunt is consumed by meanness and bitterness. Ugly things continue to come out of her mouth...
Funerals and wedding seem to bring out the worst in people, don't they say?
Once a bully, I suppose always a bully. Once a victim, always a victim. This I know, not to be true... yet I wish that despite the growth my mom has made in her 70 years... she would be able to stand up to this bully.
Maybe both sisters should be thrown into a bath of mud... and fight it out! Oh.. the visual....
Sad that people have to put others down to build themselves up.
My mom says she is happy... after a lifetime of living by other people's rules, she lives by her own. Mistakes that are made are her own. She is not made to clean up other's messes... anymore. She has found her peace... it may not be what I would choose but it is hers only.
My aunt is jealous of this. She lacks peace... despite the fact that she may have lived a life that was a social norm. Sad. I think that life would suck if you have been robbed of true happiness, something that is in your power, has always been in your power to grasp. You have just missed it.
Maybe I need to just beat her up! (joke)
Eye Spy with My Sore Eye...
7 a.m. came way too early this morning. Back to school. Back to routine. Back to life in the faster lane. I am glad for a stay at home day. These kind of days don't happen unless I am forced to stay at home literally.
Friday night we were at some friends home. Jordan got hit in the eye with an air soft gun. He cried and then seemed to be O.K.
Well the next 12 hours or so were spent with the on and off crying of it hurting. Finally Sanj took him to the E.R. The doctor didn't like what he saw so he sent us to Trenton... an hour and bit away the next morning.
Apparently there is blood built up behind his eye causing the pain and swelling. Nothing can be seen till this subsides. So he is on bedrest till further notice. (Bedrest and a 11 year old boy???) Actually he has done nothing but sleep for most of the day yesterday... which is the best medicine.
So... I pray that all is well that ends well. I can't help but be stressed by the waiting and wondering. My poor baby.
So, it is a quiet day home. The gym will have to wait. Returns will have to wait. I'd like to say that laundry will have to wait but guess this is a perfect day to get caught up.
Happy January 5th!
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Can I Ask You a Question?
I got an email from a friend the other day and she ended with this...
"Well, I am getting tired....time to head to bed. Just finished watching an episode of Sex in the City. Interesting question was posed.....'Can you forgive, when you can't forget?' "
It is just a simple email... but that question has really had me thinking. Can you forgive, when you can't forget?"
Then different situations flash through my head... some from a lifetime ago... some big and some small.
Can you forgive when forgiveness hasn't been asked for?
I would think that big hurts... are the ones you never forget. Yet can you REALLY forgive if it is not forgotten?
I would have to say it would depend on the hurt. I would have to say yes.
And here I thought Sex In the City was just about shoes and sex! Who would have thought?
Friday, January 2, 2009
Will the Nice Girls Please Stand Up?
Tonight I met a girl that was sweet, helpful to her parents, beautiful and lovely. I am always taken back by girls that are moody and whiney... all the time. I wonder why that kind of behavior is not put to a stop, especially in public?
Then there are those that have girls, some little and some a little older that are delightful.
This young lady is the kind of girl that we can hope that the boys will pick... she got on the ice with a dozen boys and held her own... actually better than held her own. If I had a daughter, I would hope she would be as delightful as her. I could tell she was not a goodie goodie either.
I am not sure where my mind is ... even thinking of a girl my son may like... Oye... but I suppose that part of me is slowly coming around.
Still a scary thought... but it was a delight to see that there are "nice girls" out there.
Now I just have to hope that my sons will be attracted to the "nice girls."
Goodbye Auntie Kamala...
My mom's younger sister died new year day. My mom left first thing. Sad, her siblings are slowing passing... which makes me think of my mom's own mortality.
I lived with my aunt for a summer in Maryland while I finished some course work. My mom's siblings are all similar to each other. They talk to each other constantly... loving and fighting.
I know my mom will miss her. Sad, yet I know that she is free of pain and suffering. I know that isn't a comfort yet at the same time, it must be.
So many thoughts.
I lived with my aunt for a summer in Maryland while I finished some course work. My mom's siblings are all similar to each other. They talk to each other constantly... loving and fighting.
I know my mom will miss her. Sad, yet I know that she is free of pain and suffering. I know that isn't a comfort yet at the same time, it must be.
So many thoughts.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Welcome 2009!
Last night we had a party. We used to always go out, Sanj and I but as the boys got older, we didn't like being away from them on New Year's Eve.
So You invite a few friends who you love...
You have a great hockey game on (Canada vs United States... World Juniors Game)...
You have some cold drinks...
You have a great game (Things In A Box)... Hum....
You have LOTS OF FOOD!
It was a wonderful night! I enjoyed every minute of it... my children enjoyed every minute, especially escaping any normal bedtime.
Goodbye 2008... what a year.
It is going to be a year full of big events for our family. Sammy will graduate and begin high school (wow) Josh will began JK (aw...) and I will start my journey to becoming a real estate agent. (Yikes).
Welcome 2009!
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