CPR... Anyone?

Have you ever felt like you were about to embark on something big? Or new or life changing?

I feel this in the pit of my stomach. Maybe it is know that I will soon be part of the working world. Or maybe it is something totally different. I feel I have so much to give or share. What that is? I am not really sure. Part of that is simply hope.

I feel there is a sense of helplessness within women... an overwhelming sense of loneliness. I am not sure... but part of what I feel is the need for sisterhood. For women to know that they are not alone in their worries and sadness. Often what women feel, whether it is under appreciated, tired or the endlessness of life... it is a universal feeling.

Unless you have a great girlfriend who is really open... you don't realize that what you are feeling is pretty normal.

Have you ever just wanted to get in the car and drive? Drive away from life ... even for just a short time? What if all you had to think about was yourself?

I feel a big something in my heart. Writing feels a part of it... yet I am not sure. I just know it will be changing. Maybe life changing for me... and maybe someone else... in a good way.

I feel a little jittery with the uncertainty of it all. Suddenly the real estate course is becoming a question rather than a period.
Part of that is Sanj. He said last night... "I am not sure how it will be with you working evening and weekends..." Then another lady that I know in that business said something similar.... that made me question it again.

Then I feel this book thing in the back of my mind. Yet it is such a huge daunting task, one that requires me to be emotionally ready, that perhaps I am being a Jonah. Maybe this is my calling and I am ignoring it out of fear or uncertainty. And can I make a living as an author?

Right now I am having serious heart palpitations and no one is here to give me CPR...

So please, if you have a moment, could you say a prayer for me? That God gives me clarity. Then strength, then wisdom... and money to ride the ride.

Why are all these doubts coming NOW? I felt so clear and certain. Now I feel like I have NO ANSWERS.
Well except that I never want my cleaning lady to not come!!! (Her absence over the holidays was felt and I am not meant to clean full time... as it turns me into a -itch. Thus I need a job, if only to continue to support this necessity).

So... what is this blog about? Confusion. The need for a good cry. To simply be cleansed. I need answers.
Can I really write a book? My arms have gone weak.

I better lie down. Help!