The Visit with the In-Laws...

It's Monday of March Break... A bit of sleeping in, a big breakfast and some lounging  in the pyjamas.  My in-laws just left.  They spent the night.  Sanj's brother and family are out of town so they were alone.  It is such a different dynamics when it is just us and them.  It is even different with Sanj off to work and it is just   his parents and myself.

It wasn't always this easy.  They didn't like me.  I felt like I was always on the defence... watching my every move as I never knew what I would have done wrong. I had stomach aches every time we went to their house.  It wasn't really a good time.

I am not sure what changed.  They probably realized that I was here to stay.  Maybe it was my winning personality that finally won them over.  :) lol  Maybe it was just time.  We all found our places in the family.

Today as I listened to them, they were reminiscing  about Sanj when he was little.  Of course I heard these stories before.  Yet I am always moved by their love.  They were telling the story of Sanj's dad having to leave for a year.  Of Sanj holding on to his dad at the age of 3, not wanting him to go.  They were apart for a year while his dad came  here to get thing settled.  My father-in-law had tears in his eyes, again, as he retells it.  Love... it just shines so bright as his tears do.

My mother-in-law tells the story of Sanj having a seizure.  She runs out of the house screaming that she doesn't want to see her baby die.  They both tell of praying over Sanj as he is burning up with a 105 degree fever.

I guess as I watched Sanj's parents this weekend, I see a couple that is fighting against the reality of growing old.  I see them trying so hard to hang on to yesterday as that is where they have lived and remember.  Today the folks that are on the outside are not who they feel on the inside.  I see these folks that really do love and hold family dear.  It is just that their love language isn't mine.  It is about accepting what they offer and meeting them half way.  Sometimes, it is about meeting them where they are at.

Sometimes ones personality is what it is.   Maybe they really can't change it.  Maybe they don't mean for it to come across as it is.  Maybe in the midst of a complaint is a thank you.  Maybe in the midst of a demand is a plea for help.  Maybe in the midst of hug is a "I love you."  Maybe sometimes the past is all one really has or knows.

I have been blessed with so much.  I think I am at the place where despite all of the things that bug me or annoy me, I can say that I appreciate these folks that are part of my life in so many ways.  I owe them so much.  I want my children to see the rich heritage that is theirs in their grandparents.  Someday they won't have it right there.  So it is up to me (and Sanj) to foster that feasting of the past.

It was a good weekend.  I put a lot of pressure on myself when they are here.  It is just me.  I want them to feel loved and appreciated and maybe spoiled.  Maybe I am working on them feeling cherished.

Yes, that is it.  Cherished.  I am sure God expects that of us.  We are to cherish those that were before us and fought and blessed us with the life we know.

Maybe after all these years, what I am feeling is love.  I am feeling love for Sanj's parents because if they did not live as they did, I would not live as I do... with a happy home full of hope for the future.

Practicing What I Preach...

I just read my blog about loving the ones that are hard to love.

My dad called my mom  and was going on about his loneliness.  He wants to live with each of his children a month.  YIKES!  My mom said,  "call and ask them."

His reply was, "I thought you could ask."

My mom said no.  (Good for her!)

He was at my brother's  over Christmas almost a month and chose not to call me at all. 

I left that ball in his court.  

How I struggle with this!  He made his bed and sleeping in it is not pleasant.  I feel bad for his loneliness. Yet no matter what, his life is all a creation of his own choices.

Sucks, eh?  

I think of that often, especially being at Sanj's office, I see two kinds of people.  There are the seniors that choose happy and life.  Then there are those that choice to be miserable.  I want so bad to be a happy person... my whole life.  Getting old sucks.  But really, it doesn't have too.  If you choose to live and make each day count... you can find happiness along the way.

Back to my dad... I called Sanj and said that my dad wants to come for a month.

There was silence on the other end.  lol

Have I told you I love this man?

Sanj replied, "maybe a week."  lol

A month would be a long time too... for all of us.
A week would be stressful...

I know my dad wouldn't stay a month anyway.

So... I am pray and about (and pray please God, don't let him call), I have decided that if he calls... I'll extend the invite.

I wonder in this kind of situtation what Jesus would do?

Oye.  I wonder what it would be like to live a boring life?

I guess being kind to the odd, weird and annoying is a category my dad falls into.  Talk about practicing what I preach.

This picture is random.  Jordan had to make a model of ones' ribs.

Obviously I didn't help him... thus the great job!

As Good As It Gets...

Life for my Josh is just plain good!  It is like he has his own fan club within his family.

He just KNOWS he is loved.  

Does it get any better than this?

Of course all my boys know they are loved.  ( I am sure Sammy and Tyler question it every so often when they feel like all is against them).  But the boys know love.

The thing is that Josh is loved and liked by all his brothers.

When Sammy is on the outs with us, he will try and get Josh to come over to his 'side.'

Today in the van I must have reprimanded him.  He just looked at me and quietly said, "That's not very nice."  Even though I was right, I did feel kind of small.

He was looking through a little Playmobile catalogue... (which was the death of me today).  He realized that Christmas was done and would take a long time to come around again... so he started on his birthday... which is in March.

After I told him that he better look for something else, aside from the police station set because he already got it and didn't take care of it... he told me... "That's OK, I'll ask my brothers and they'll get it for me."

I am not sure how long  his movie star treatment will last... as already he does typical little brother things that do annoy them...

But I love watching his confidence that love of his family will make everything Ok. 
Being the youngest comes with perks!

Happy New Year's Eve!!!

It's New Years Eve! 

Add some snow and mild weather... ✔

Add some yummy food...✔

Add friends...  (yes, you are invited)... ✔

Tonight's gonna be a good night!

I love a party.

I love being with my family and friends.

I love food!

I love having fun.

I love a New Year.

It is something to be grateful for... having the gift of another year.

It is a gift to have friends and family.

It is a gift to have a whole new year knocking at the door... full of possibilities.

Happy New Years Eve...

Be Safe.

If you have no where to celebrate,

our house is open to you!

An Epiphany!

I had an epiphany.

I was at the dentist with Sammy (that is another story...). As I was waiting for the dentist to come in, I noticed his family picture. They are nice looking family of a mama, dada, boy and girl.

After a long day, I couldn't help but think of just having 2 kids. I suppose that would have been Sammy and Tyler.

I paused to contempt life with my two boys. Wow... how different. Quieter, not as busy, easier, cheaper and then I had a moment of unsettlement.

There I was tonight, and I had a moment of panic. It didn't feel right.

As I allowed my mind to go back to reality, 6 boys, chaos, loudness, clutter, laundry, messes, I had a feeling of utter fulfilment.

This might seem silly, but today, I had a deep realization that I am supposed to be mother of 6 rambunctious, lovely boys. It is what fulfills me. It is what satisfies me. It is the life I was so meant to lead.

It doesn't come with perfect days... but neither would my life with my 2 kids.

I am living my life just as I am supposed to. It is a good life!

Family Day

Today Sanj took the day off thinking he would get some snowboarding in. Since the weather was -20 something that didn't happen. So as we all woke up slowly, sluggish and unwanting to start the day... we decided that everyone would skip school and we would go to breakfast and then go cheer Max's game.

This week is the Atom Hockey Tournament... it is a big deal for kids in hockey ages 9-10. They get to miss a bit of school and it is their moment to shine.

Well within 5 minutes of making the decision to skip school, it suddenly felt like um maybe not. So begins the day. Unfortunately Sammy begins his attitude right away. It is not yet 8 a.m. Zachary is over tired. Josh is Josh. Sanj is frazzled.

The countdown to this day being over has begun.

I think that part is expectation. In my head, I see a warm fuzzy family moment. I see overly tired kids and feel like what a great day it would be for them to just be able to relax. PSH........... the wand is cast.

Yet they are still kids full of complaint about each other, so and so touching each other, whatever. So in my head the warm fuzzy didn't happen because I would have to rid myself of at least half the children. Sanj probably just needed to have the day to himself.

We still have the weekend to be together. And everyone seems grumpy. Maybe this is family day... or maybe everyday is family day.

I feel like I am the only one that appreciated our togetherness. Yet didn't really appreciate it because there was no appreciativeness in the others. Does that make any sense?

The reality is this is us. There is constant appreciation and unappreciation. There is laughing and crying. There is sharing and complaining. There is pinching and hugging. There is noise. Quietness usually eludes us... until that noise is taken over by snoring. There is disappointment and moments of pride.

So was the day. The good parts were Jordan being given the OK to play hockey by his eye doctor. The boys have discovered Gilligan's Island... black and white TV and loved and laughed through it. Max played a great game and had a good time.
I loved when Tyler went to Max and said, "Wow Max, you skate really fast." Just what Max needed to hear from his brother! I loved that all my men have a common interest that keeps them connected... hockey.

So despite the disappointments of this day... I loved it. I loved us just being together.
These are just moments of the day (pictures)... taken by different boys.