Happy New Year's Eve!!!

It's New Years Eve! 

Add some snow and mild weather... ✔

Add some yummy food...✔

Add friends...  (yes, you are invited)... ✔

Tonight's gonna be a good night!

I love a party.

I love being with my family and friends.

I love food!

I love having fun.

I love a New Year.

It is something to be grateful for... having the gift of another year.

It is a gift to have friends and family.

It is a gift to have a whole new year knocking at the door... full of possibilities.

Happy New Years Eve...

Be Safe.

If you have no where to celebrate,

our house is open to you!

S..L..O..W..I..N..G DOWN...

This day is one that I wish would not end too soon.  It's been a perfect kinda day.  I awoke to Josh begging me to get up because the sun was up and that meant it was morning.  Guess he doesn't understand that's what the blinds are for when you want to just sleep in.

I was sort of kicked out of the bed by three growing bodies that seem to take up all the space on our king size bed.  Sammy, Tyler and Max were all snuggled in their spots, snoring away.  I love watching them sleep.  As much as Sanj hates them in our bed, I love that they find peace and security there.

Zach was at his last day of hockey camp, Jordan was being dropped off at a friends and Max, at the last minute wanted to come with me, knowing he'd have a better chance at breakfast then home.

Zach had tears in his eyes as I met him.  Someone had crashed into him and he had a headache from hitting his head on the ice.  My poor little man.  He is such an amazing force of all boy.

We had to drop of the car at the mechanics, Sanj had a cancelation and so he picked me up and took us to lunch.  Yum... I love getting to have lunch with my favorite husband!

It was off to the bank to do a deposit and then we came home.

Still left is groceries, getting ready for friends over tomorrow... the boys all have a friend or two over for a New Years sleep.  So it requires me to be organized for many meals... not my strong point. :)

Tonight we are going out with friends for dinner.  Tyler is off to the movies with friends and Sammy is in charge!

I am longing for a nap.  That isn't going to happen... sigh.

My nephew is coming for a skate and perhaps a sleepover too.

This day ending means the rush of getting ready for New Years Eve, then welcoming the New Year and then it is back to school mode.  I guess that is my problem... the bottom line... I don't think I am ready for the new year.  I could really use another week at least!!!

I have a lot that I need to do in this New Year and that requires some soul work... and I am feeling  lazy, I suppose.

Sigh.   So, I am sitting here, hoping that the afternoon will go by at a grindingly slow pace.

I Love My Boys!

The weather outside is ridiculous!  Brrr..  It's -19℃ but with the wind, it feels like -27℃!!!  I would prefer to just stay in my pajamas but that isn't going to happen.

Zach is at hockey camp and needs to be picked up in a bit.  I probably need to get groceries and get back to real life.  This break has been so needed.  The boys have been able to sleep in and just relax.

I am not sure how we are going to get back into to going to school mode.  There is a reason I don't home school, lol, I have no discipline so we wouldn't even start school to after 11 am, I am sure.

The older boys are in a hockey tournament in Whitby.  We went and watched them play yesterday afternoon.  I love watching them.  I am so amazed that those are my boys out there.  Obviously they didn't inherit my lack of athleticism! :)

Everyone is home (I started this blog in the morning), Sanj went to work, and I am listening to the most beautiful thing... A bunch of little voices singing very off key to Taylor Swift's You Belong to Me.  The boys are on Band Hero, a game they got for Christmas... and I love watching them forget about being self-concious and singing out with all they have! 

It makes me smile.  In between the fighting, there are these moments that remind me of it all being worth while.

I love my boys!

Trevor...

I got a message from a friend that was from my university days...

It said, "Have you heard about Trevor?"

Immediately I had a sense that it was not good news.

Trevor is a pilot for United Airlines...

While I pondered a second that perhaps he could have gotten married, I knew it was a fear I had in regards to flying.

Trevor was a friend of mine that was like a big brother.

He was a pest, full of pranks and jokes and always knew how to get my goat.

He kept an eye out.  Never said too much, but let it be know when I was not going to do something.

He would come and say, "You are not going to that party, right?"

I knew I wasn't going to that party.

Yet I knew he was there.

Silly.

Yet he always had an eye to make sure I stayed out of trouble.

He loved ladies.  

He loved flying.

He loved making friends wherever he flew.

Apparently he just bought a little plane.

He and his cousin where flying to Grenada, this is where he called home.

The engines quit... and the plane went down near the Bahamas. 

I just read that the Coast Guards called the search off.

I feel so sad inside.

What a loss.

Was he scared?

I am glad he was with someone (as awful as that sounds).

I hope he felt God's arms holding him tight.

There is a part of me that still can't help but wonder what if he is still out there?

Trevor, you are one of those people that was in my life for a bit... yet your footprints made a path on my heart.

Jesus, if he is alive... please bring him home safely.

If he is gone... may he have felt the love of those whose lives were forever impacted by his smile and gift of friendship.


Could you please pray for a miracle?
I know God can do this!
Please God, hear our prayers.

Kindness

We just got back from seeing The Blind Side... Loved it!  I left feeling so grateful that there are people in this world who can simply see a person... not their colour, pay check or status.

I love the lady in this movie.  She was so inspiring. I loved that she just listened to her heart.

We grew up with a lot of things against us.  But today, I am grateful to know that all those obstacles were overcome by loving people like the Touhys... who listen to God's nudges.  We had love showered to us by lovely people that didn't ask why my dad did....  but rather just looked at what needed to be done and did it.

I have blogged about my home ec teacher and family who did this one Christmas and took my mom grocery shopping and bought us gifts.  (I didn't even know we were short on food).

There is the time, one of many acts of kindness, that my dearest friend's dad came to rescue.

I was driving home from university with some girls, in my little Ford Escort wagon... we were almost home to Dayton.  I was on I-75 in the midst of rush hour.  Putt Putt Putt... went my little wagon.

This was one of my many experiences of a vehicle I was driving leaving me stuck.  But this time, it was different.  I felt a sence of relief as I knew I was just a short distance from home.  At least my dad could come and rescue me.

I guess I walked someplace (not sure how that all occurred... no cell phones back then).  I know I called home and my dad was annoyed.  Not sure why, since he did give me this vehicle to get back and forth.

I just know I was mortified to have to tell everyone in the car that my dad wasn't coming.

My girlfriend must have called her dad (it is all a blur to me) who came to the rescue.

Not only did he come to the rescue, but went back with her brother to tow my car home.

I always wondered if my dad was not embarrassed  to come out and chat as another dad did what he should have done.

I never forgot this act of kindness.  It was not a little thing to come and tow my vehicle.

He never asked me any questions... just did what needed to be done.  I love this man.

I know he was/is full of quirks to his family but to me I see this man that I wished my dad could have been like.  He took his responsibilities seriously... he took care of his family.

When I was in university, my brother wanted to play basketball at the school.  I think the practice must have been on the weekend.  My father said sure my brother could go but he had to find his own ride.

We lived across town, literally on the wrong side of the tracks.  This man, just a kind man, decided that it was important for my brother to be there and drove all the way to our house, back to the school and then back to our house and then home (his house was right behind the school.)

None of these people had to do the things they did.  Yet they did.  How much our lives were change by many acts of kindness.  

Pay it forward.  It is what I have strived to do.  It is all I can do, aside from thanking God for looking out for us... for putting people in our path to keep us moving forward.

So... I look for ways to touch someone's life.  I don't ask the questions.  You have to do it for the kids.  Sometimes, kids have no choice with the parents they have.

Sometimes you just have to do it for someone... they may just need a break.

Only God can be the judge.  Listen to your heart.  It's usually a nudge.

Change...

My Tyler... I have written about his obsessive personality before.  He loves routine and the familiar.  Change for him is often a four letter word.  

Since he was a toddler and old enough to express his thoughts, he has been one that prefers jeans, a cotton tee-shirt and a cotton sweatshirt.  In the summer its shorts and a tee-shirt.

When it is a day that requires a bit more dressing... such as khakis and a collar shirt... then cause great stress.  For the longest time, he had to button his shirt right up to the top. 

Now as he has grown older, he has found ways to cope.  He will dress as asked when required, yet he takes his comfort clothes with him. As soon as we are in the car, he changes.  This isn't an exaggeration.

Over the month, he simply wanted clothes.  Not clothes from my usually hits, such as Old Navy, but rather from his faves such as Hollister and Abercrombie.  (Where does he get his expensive taste from?)

While shopping, I bought him a pair of sweat pants.  The boy never wears them.  On a rare occasion, he may need a pair, he will hit my closet or Sanj's looking for something that will accommodate.

So I decided to buy him a pair... knowing that Jordan or Sammy would love to snatch them up if he didn't like it.

He also kept asking for a button down shirt with checkers... Sammy wears these all the time and apparently this is the in thing.  I kept telling Tyler, I don't think you will wear it.

Anyways, here he is,,, my sweet boy, breaking out of his comfort zone to stretch himself.

It's day two... he has sported the shirt 2 days now... the sweatpants... he loves.

I love this kid of mine.

Perfection...

Christmas is almost officially over.  It was probably the most perfect Christmas ever.

Nothing spectacular happened.  No drama.  We were a family.  It was just us for the first time and while it is great to have family... it was nice to have the experience of us.  We did go to my in-laws in the afternoon and that was nice too.  But it was nice to have our time to do our things our way.

A long time ago, I prayed for a happy family, a happy home.  Today I had perfection.

I love my family.  I love my husband.  I love my boys.   I love all the quirks that come with each of them.

I love that we drive each other crazy 90% of the time.  I love that there is a constant chaos much of the time.  I love it all.

Thank You, Jesus for  answering my prayer.

Thank You for teaching me that perfect is sometimes the imperfections that come with love.

Thank You for teaching me contentment.

Thank You for the love we are surrounded by family and friends.

Thank You, Jesus, for Christmas.

Thank You for today.

Happy Birthday Jesus!

Just a Few More Hours...

I am finally done wrapping... 12:32... maybe I'll get to see Santa!

Everyone is in bed... tucked out!   The boys and Sanj had a great game of hockey and finally came in when someone got hurt and tempers started flaring!   Josh helped me make cookies for Santa and watched Elf... we love that movie!

We went to church... there is something about singing praises to God.  It was just what I needed to get to the place I want to be emotionally and spiritually.

I feel so good.  It is a time of me just appreciating all that is in my life... the gift of love from my family and friends, the knowledge that God is really in control.... and I just need to let it all go...

It feel so good to release it.

Christmas... this is the first ever that we are alone with no one here except us.  Weird.  Different.  But it is all good.

Jesus, Happy Birthday.

Thank you for the most awesome gift... Yourself.

Thank you for Your patience.

Thank you for the blessing that surround us... we just have to look...

I love you so much.

Thank you for all of it... the blessings and trials.

Thank you for tonight.  Thank you for tomorrow.

Happy Birthday, Jesus!

1 More Sleep!

Well according to the Santa Tracker, he is in Mahajanga, Madagascar! 

Just one more sleep! 

I love the afternoon of Christmas Eve.

It is still full of stuff but I love that we are all together.

The boys are on the rink,

Sanj and Josh are down for much needed naps,

dinner is in the oven,

church tonight

(to celebrate the real reason of this season)

then it is hanging out at home...
a hockey game with dad,

the boys get to open one present...

and always get pajamas.


I am feeling blessed.  
I am feeling loved.
I am feeling God's blessing and His love.


I pray that each of you feel His presence in your life today.
I am thinking of those that are not with their loved ones.
I am thinking of those that struggle this season.
You are loved.


Merry Christmas to each of you!

2 More Sleeps!

Insert here... PANIC, FRUSTRATION, OVERWHELMED.

I had to do some errands today... some for the office... and didn't get much done that I needed done to cross of things off my list.  I am driving the truck (Sanj's toy...) behind me is a police.  I feel his stare in my mirror.  I signal right, he follows.  I drive a bit and then signal left.  He follows.  I am in the turning lane in the middle of a busy street and then there they are ... the flashing lights.

I have no idea what I have done.  Well, apparently, the toy I am driving has expired plates... very expired... since February.  And then in the stress of it all, I couldn't find the insurance paper.

2 tickets... one for a $100+ for the tags... he was nice enough to say that he couldn't really cut me slack since they had expired in February.  Darn.  Then the other ticket for not finding the insurance... but I just had to go to the station and show them proof of it and they would tear that one up.

Did he not realize that I don't have time for all this?  There went another hour.  

I came home ... I had left the boys a list of things to do.  Some did them and some didn't.

Again... insert frustration and wanting to throw a hissy fit.

Sammy apologizes for not doing his share.  I said I didn't accept his apologizes.  Is that wrong?

I told him that he can't not do his share and apologize when convenient and expect me to forgive him and not be mad.  He then replies.... "This is why I don't apologize."

This Christmas I choose to Be Happy and Thankful.

I am choosing that ... but right now... this moment... I am finding it hard.

But... it is about memories and not the clean, dust-free house, right?

So I am sighing a loud sigh.   I am going to take the boys to see the chipmunk movie... and breathe in while inhaling popcorn.

Then I will come home... get then set up for the night... Sanj is gone the evening to practice for church... then that leaves getting groceries tonight ... late or tomorrow morning.

I haven't had time to wrap yet.  Insert Panic...

2 More sleep.

3 More Sleeps!

• Get out of bed.
• Get everyone ready for the day.
• Clean up.
• Do some laundry... so everyone at least has clean underwear!
• Costco stop... gift baskets for a few business folks.
• Drop off the baskets.
• Sharpen skates.
• Groceries.
• Grab gifts stashed at the office.
• Wax the mustache!
• Cousins coming for a skate.
• Wrap gifts.
• Supper.
• Hockey game.
• Another hockey game.
• More wrapping.
• 3 More Sleeps!

Love Is...

Of course love is so many things!  Today as I drove 2 hours to a mall to shop in a store that one of my babes loves... and then waited a half an hour in line to pay for the 2 things... I realized that was love!

4 more sleeps!

5 More Sleeps...

It's Sunday night.  Normally I would feel the stress of being ready for another week.  While there is a lot to get done... there is nothing like sleeping in... at least not having to wake up to the buzz of the alarm.

This weekend was a great way to start off the break.  The boys all had friends over.  They lived on the ice. It was so great to see them out there.  Thank you God, for this weather to give us the conditions for a rink.  Thank you for Sanj and his persistent personality to keep working on it.

We had friends over Saturday night.  The younger boys made a gingerbread house... thanks to the help of my friend... and I didn't have to stress out about getting it made.  Yahoo.

It was a bit of a rough go this afternoon as everyone being to meltdown from being tired.  Yuck.

But it's all good again.

Tomorrow I have to head into TO to pick the last of the gifts.  Then I have to wrap the remainder of the gifts.  It's frustrating not being about to get boxes with purchases this year.

I have been baking a bit... which is not me, usually.  But it is all good.  :)

I am really looking forward to just being happy this Christmas.  I am focusing on the blessing.  I am pushing the hard stuff away.  It is always there.  But there is so much to be gratefully for.

5 more sleeps!!!  I can't wait!  I love Christmas.

Merry Monday to all!

Fun!

I had such an incredible evening.  It was my first photo shoot... sorta speak.

What a fun time!  What beautiful subjects that made it so easy!

Fun!  FuN!  FUN! 

I would love to do this part time... 

Check out some of our evening fun:

Beautiful Ladies!  Thank you for the privilege.

Practice...

My friend's daughter just turned 13 years old.  Her mom is taking her and 2 girlfriends to the spa to get their hair and makeup done.  She asked me if I would take pictures of them.

Wow.  I feel honoured... and a little pressure.  I wouldn't want to let anyone down.

You know what they say... A picture is worth a thousand words!

So I made a little "studio" in the eat-in kitchen.  Sanj got out all the lighting I have owned for a long while yet don't know how to use.  Then we practiced.

And practiced.  Then changed the backdrop a few times... then unplugged all the fancy lighting... and then came these wonderful pictures...

With permission, I will blog about the experience once done.

Here's crossing my fingers... and whispering a prayer  for a little beginner's luck...

Cutified...

This is me cutified!  I wish this picture was clear... there aren't too many I like of myself... but I like this one.

As I was getting dressed, he asked me for whom I was getting so cute for?
Who did he think?  Weird...  they do say it is the smart ones that can be really slow.
lol... All for you, my dear!

2 Weeks! Yah!

Today was the all school skate.  Christmas was in the air.  Much wanted and needed rest was in the air.
Cold was the air.  Actually if you weren't skating, you were freezing.

Normally I would be there snapping pictures.  It was just too cold!  Thanks to my friend for snapping this one of me and my baby.  I love this kid!


I love my boys.  I am looking forward to just hanging out and spending time doing nothing!


Here's to a great Christmas break!  Be safe everyone.   Be warm!  Be happy.

1 More Week...

I have butterflies in my tummy.  I am not really sure what the reason is...
...It could be anxiousness at all the thing I have to do by 11am (and yet here I am blogging).
...It could the nervousness and excitement at a "photo shoot" I am doing tonight here... yikes!
...It could be just excitement that its the last day of school for 2 weeks!!!
...It could be that Christmas is one week away!


Who knows.  Today is the all school skate at one of the rinks.  I love this day.  It is so relaxed, you see parents you don't always get to see.  The kids are all happy, rosy and excited.  It's got a bit of last day of school feel to it.


The rink is up ... the boys are happy.  Sanj and Tyler braved the crazy -15 or lower temps to flood the rink.
I love it!  I am planning my annual New Years Eve family skate at a local rink... yes, you are invited.
Then we may have some friends over later.  The boys usually have a sleepover... it's all lots of fun.


But back to Christmas...  I wrapped some presents last night.  I love gift giving.  I hate when people say "No gifts, OK?"  You can't tell me what to do.  If I am giving you a gift... it is from my heart.  It isn't because I am expecting a gift from you. 


Although Sanj, if you are still looking for a gift idea... I really want a pair of black Uggs... the shorter one.  Check my other pair for size... the mall has it.  :)


I want a housekeeper.  Did I mention we fired our cleaning lady?  Not the greatest timing... that leaves me in foul spirits knowing I have to come home and clean.


She was not very smart.  She left this rude note ... "Reema, I came, no check was left so I left... I have other paying jobs..."  Sanj came home to the note first and messy house.


Not a good thing.  He was TICKED!  Silly lady.  First of all, she has never not been paid.  I was coming back to the house with the money.  She cleans at the office too.  How dumb of her.  That is a huge chunk of cash for her.  Fired.  She called Sanj in tears... "but its Christmas..."  um you should have thought of that before you walked out all tough.  Of course he is a softie.  He told her she can clean till the end of the year at the office.  (Obviously we had lots of other issues with her too....)


But that leaves me high and dry.  Know anyone in Millbrook that is looking... let me know.


OK... I am stalling... I need to clean up the house.  Then there is showering, getting Zach's helmet fixed, put together the last school gift, clean out my van... Sanj is sure I am going to catch the Bubonic Plague in there.


All in a day...

Tiger...

Do I blog my thoughts?  Who really cares?  Well, in our  household there are huge Tiger lovers.  My men love golf and they love the gift that Tiger obviously has.

I have always disliked him.  I am not sure what it is about him but I have never been a fan.
I always felt he was to stuck up.  Sanj and the boys call it focused.
Me... I always felt that Mr. Woods made his millions + from the fans that love him and follow him.
They made him rich.  The richest athletic out there.  Most of his billions are made of endorsements... Nike, etc.  Then folks like my boys go out there and want the stuff.  Anything to be like Tiger.

Hum.  I have always found his aloofness bothersome.  He seems like he suffers from some social issues.  (Obviously we now know better).  He didn't have a problem being put up on a pedestool... he even embraced it... saying it is a priviage to be a role model. 

Sanj wonders why people care about Tiger that don't care about golf?
For me, it is because he set himself up ... to be better than all.
We are all human.  We all fall.  Must be hard to fall from way up there!

Now you see that he had a whole diffrerent life.  Women, sex and what else?

So, I see this man, who has major issues.  I never really understood how people think they can cheat and not get caught.  What are you thinking? 

 I see his beautiful wife and wonder what is wrong with you, TIger?  His poor children.  His poor wife.  She is who has my prayers.  I can't image the pain and humiliation she must feel.   

I feel sorry for Tiger...  I hope he gets help.

My thoughts... while on topic... I did find this funny... yes, and mean... but funny.

"What does Tiger and Santa have in common?"
Santa stopped at 3 ho's  (ho ho ho)

Upset...

I felt sad yesterday.  I have realized that I set myself up for disappointments.  I forget that we are all so different.  I assume that someone is going to do something the way I would.  I get so excited at the effort.
Then it is like a slap.  The reality sinks in.  I  was just a passing thought.


I set myself up.  So I can't be mad.  I can't be hurt.  But I am.


Do you understand this?


Sometimes I don't understand myself.  How can I expect others too?

Real or Fake?

Tonight we went and got our tree!  It is something I look forward to every year.  I love looking for the biggest and best tree.

Every year, this is a night that Sanj becomes a grinch.  Jim Carrey has nothing on him.  The Scrooge just invades his soul.  He hates the whole getting of the tree.

We got a fake one a few years ago.  I hated it.  It really is a beautiful tree.  The last few years it has brought Christmas Cheer to those that walk into Sanj's clinic.

There is something about a REAL tree!

Yet... if it makes my dear one so miserable... and I mean real miserable, is it worth it?

Maybe this is only really important to me.

Half the boys stayed in the van (there  was wet snow coming down), Sanj sat in the truck... till I made him come out.  Why bother?

So... I think this is the last year for a real tree.  Sigh.

It is just a small part of Christmas, isn't it?

Guess I will have to find the biggest and best in the world of artificial trees.

Tick Tock...

I am blogging... (this is my 700th blog... wahoo!)... yet I should be doing a million other things...

• sorting through the presents making sure who has what and who needs what...
• wrapping some of the presents so it isn't an overwhelming task.
• bathrooms needs  cleaning...
• keep up with the laundry...
• pay some bills... yuck...
• clean up the morning rush
• put up some Christmas stuff

Yet I am blogging.

I need to write.  I am thinking it is just as therapeutic as my white pill.

I started to look into writing (such as a book, magazines, etc.) for more than a hobby.

I was so excited.

Then I heard that Oprah was ending her show.

OK... for those of you that don't really know me... yes, I am weird and crazy.

Probably certifiably.

Here's the thing... I always dreamt of writing a book and it being on Oprah's book list.

It is/was so tied into my dream.

I would be on her show.  I would be able to thank her for helping me understand the things that were happening in my life... such as the meaning of battered women, abuse etc.

It would so awesome.

I would take my brother.

I would take my family.

What would I wear?

Weird?  Yes... I know!!!

But truth be told, it sort of crippled  me.

My editor friend told me to stop saying "I want to be a writer."

She said..."You already are a writer."

Yet the steps from there are overwhelming me.

Step #1 Increase the readership of my blog.

I admit, I don't know how to do this.

Most people don't read my blog.  They read me on Facebook.

My blog (www.sukumaranville.blogspot.com) has a counter that isn't working.

Most don't comment on the blog. Again the comments are usually via Facebook and email.

So I am stuck at how do I increase readership?

There are other steps but I guess I got stuck at this one.

As I am sitting back re-reading the Tips for Reema, 

I have to pause.

Tip #8... Join a writers group, take a course, read books on writing, but don't get discouraged.  Remember, you're already a writer-  you don't just WANT to write, you DO write, and you have the discipline AND interesting material AND the knack of getting your thoughts out in a logical way, all of which most would -be writers lack.

(Taken from Tips for Reema by Barbara K. (editor)

Sheesh!  So where do I go from here?

God, please help me not to be my typical self and get discouraged and give up.

Could You please guide me?

Show me (loudly) how to move from this place.

My being is screaming out that this is for me.

I believe this to be Your will for me too.

So... if so... please help me.

Show me how to increase readership.

Show me Your will.

(Loudly, if possible).

Love,

Me