More Than Half My Life!

It is my hubby's birthday tomorrow.  I have known him more than half my life.  Wow!  That half has been the better half.  I have so many memories of him.  Many are when we were just friends.  Many are of me crushing on him and him pretending not to notice.  Many of the memories are of him driving me nuts.  Most of my memories are of him making my world better.

He was in this world 3.5 years before me.  I love to think that God made him just for me.  He gave Sanj experiences that would make him perfect for me.  God allowed him to experience things that would make Sanj wise, gentle, thoughtful, full of patience and love.  He made him smart and driven knowing that I would be relaxed and lackadaisical.   He made Sanj solid and no nonsense knowing that I would be full of random and ill-logical feelings and ideas.

We are each others opposite.  Yet we are like pieces of puzzles... opposites that match up nicely to make a great picture.

I love this man.  I love that he gets me.  He gets my randomness. He knows that tomorrow I will be full of totally different ideas and dreams and yet feel as passionate about each idea as the next.  He just acts totally interested and supportive day after day.

It's his birthday tomorrow.  He has the day off.  Years ago, when I first wanted to give him the day off, he wouldn't take it.  Too many patients to see, too many bills to pay, etc.  So I had his secretary fill his appointment book with fake patients.  He woke up on the morning of his birthday and I told him he had the day off.  :)  That was fun.  This continued a few years, then one year he said, don't give me the day off.  I really can't take it off.  Stupid me, listened to him.  The morning of his birthday, he wasn't really getting ready.  I  told him I didn't mark it off.  He was so disappointed.  I felt so bad.  I learned to hear him but not  listen to him.

So now, his birthday is a given.  We'll see how he spends it.  The evening is full of hockey.  I tried to cancel it but got no no.  We'll see.

I am so glad that God gave us a birthday.  We each need one day (or more) to feel special and all about you!  Enjoy your day, my dear sweet Hubby.  I love you.

Marriage and Manservant

The last couple of days have been an eye opener for me into the world of boys.
As girls have entered our lives.... it has been so interesting to me to watch and listen.

I so badly want to write the whole conversation but am restraining myself.  It was so funny to hear the boys talk about girls.  They are realizing just how different girls are from boys.  I am too!

The younger ones have become pests and funny coming home with tales of the boys talking to girls.
Some of these girls are going through the younger ones to get to the older ones.  Jordan came home totally upset with his brothers teasing and called Max the paparazzi!

Then there are moments where they just beat each other up.  Then they are laughing.  Soon enough, it is then over and they are off to play a video game.

Us... girls... we want to talk.  We want to know what they are feeling.  I am realizing that maybe they are just thinking of nothing and feeling nothing.  Maybe that is possible.  I am actually coming to the realization that  boys/men are totally different.  We really must drain them.  I exhaust myself with all the emotions and feelings I go through in one day... Sanj is so good about listening to all my thoughts.  He seems to know how much a comment is acceptable and when I need more.

When I do ask him what he is thinking, when he is staring off in space, if his answer is more than nothing, it is usually boring.  No emotions or feelings that are exciting or inspiring.

Today as we were getting ready, he looked pensive, so I asked, "what are you thinking?"
He said, "about not going to the gym today."

Today, I had so many thoughts.  I was thinking of life as we get older.  I was contemplating Sanj and I as a couple when the children were all gone.  I was thinking of couples that break up after the kids were gone.   I was thinking of men that cheat on their wife after all that time.  I was thinking of those couples I see so often that are at a restuarant, just sitting.  There is no chatting and no engaging of one another.
Ick!  I would be so sad.

What happened?  Yes, I know, each couple has their own story.  Yet, I think the key is keeping your friendship alive.  If you are friends with your spouse... then you will want to be with them.  You will miss them.  I look forward to hanging out with Sanj.  Mind you, not every minute of the day... as we are very different.

I see retirement like this (especially if I win the lotto).  I am sure we will still live here.  Maybe on the lake... kids and grandkids will come and visit and all that good stuff.  I think that we will travel a fair bit. I want to see the world.  Then if we wintered in warmth a few months a year...  then I see us hanging out in the morning.  Sanj will have been up at 5 still, done whatever he does.  I will have enjoyed sleeping in.  We hook up to be served breakfast by the manservant.  We then relax a bit.  After lunch, he will go off and golf.  I will write, shop and do a book signing here and there.  We will then go out on the boat and have dinner somewhere into the sunset.

We then have time with each other and yet time to enjoy our hobbies and friends.
I still think Sanj will call me a million times a day just to say hi and see what I am up too.
He will miss me when he is away from me.  I will think of him and buy him little things that make him smile.  Of course there will be all that shopping for the grandkids too.

Ah... life is good.  Thank you, God, for making men from Mars and women from Venus.

Grade 8 vs Staff

Today was the Rhema staff vs 8th graders hockey game.  It was perfect!  Perfect weather, great school spirit, a great memory.

My Tyler was in his glory.  He loved playing against his teachers.  He loved that the goalie was his buddy, Mrs. Premate (who was awesome)!  I loved watching his happiness.  It wasn't about goals scored (though that was wonderful too) but rather it was about being in a place that is like home... school ... where he is loved, pushed, challenged and happy.

I can't believe that he too, will be leaving this all so soon.  I know he is ready for the challenges ahead and he has been given the tools by teachers who love as they teach.


It was a good day.  What a fabulous memory for them!  The grade 8s did win... the icing on the cake.
How I love my boys.  How I love this school.  How much I love the people that make up this place.
Thank you, God for Rhema.

The First Annual...

This weekend was the first hockey tournament on the Liftlock canal in Peterborough.

It was one of those pictures that captured the spirit of being Truly Canadian.

It was one of those weekends that also captured the spirit of my men.

Sanj was there all weekend.  Literally.  When he commits to something, he is in 100%.  It doesn't matter that the weather was freezing... (-20 ℃).  It didn't matter that he worked all week.  It didn't matter that he is cold all the time.  He was there for the whole thing.

He coached, he organized, he shoveled (he was a human zamboni).   I watched him.  I realized that he is a little crazy.  Yet I realized that I am in lucky!  If he puts so much of himself into an outdoor hockey tournament and loved it... then it doesn't matter that I am crazy too... he loves me.  Yah!

The boys loved it!  It was one of those weekends that all of them wished they could have played.

The younger ones played in between the boards.  The older ones played after their games.

They played and played.

It was a great weekend.  It was one of those things that I couldn't help but be drawn to.

It was one of those times when the score didn't seem to effect the mood.  They just loved playing.

This will be an annual thing.  It was a huge success.  16 teams/ 280 players!  The CBC came and filmed for Hockey Day in Canada.  The local media was there.  (My hubby was interviewed and on TV too).  A police cruiser stopped by and the two officers popped their truck and out came skates and sticks.  They came to play for a bit too.

It is part of who we are... Canadians... a bit of weather does not stop the passion that is in the heart.

V-day Ideas???

Sanj and I have this tradition on Valentine's Day... we each take turns planning Valentines.
In the past, he has been pretty awesome with his plans.  My favorite was going to see "Dirty Dancing" in Toronto.  The play was awesome, the dinner was delicious but the thing that made the day special was that Sanj went to see this with me!  I was touched by his thoughtfulness.

So, this year is my turn.  It has to be an afternoon or later evening thing because of ... yup!  You guessed it... HOCKEY!  I am stumped with a fabulous idea.

I thought of ice fishing... I really want to try it... but he told me to hire someone or rent a hubby and go with out him.  He is not interested.

I thought of going away that night but the next day is Family Day and I wouldn't want to ditch the boys.
The last couple of years we have gone skiing on Family Day with Sanj's brother and family.

So, I need ideas.  If I end up using your Valentines Day idea, I'll send you a gift certificate to Timmy's or Starbucks.  Help!

Hurtful Instead of Helpful...

Doing a good deed is really as easy as ABC.  If you are nudged to do a deed, just do it!  Our school has a committee, yes, the one I love and talk about... The Good Neighbor Committee (GNC)...  you know about it... right?  Doing unto others that we want done for ourselves.  Being a good neighbor to our community and as well as our school community.

Doing good is like Christmas... that is the feeling one gets when you do something just because.  You know that feeling, right?  Of course you do.

Here's the thing... today someone came to me and said here is someone who is really struggling.  Then they went on to give the details... which includes all sorts of life stuff.

Then they went on to say that it was that person's b-day and nothing was done.  (I was still wondering how GNC could be a part of it)... and then went on to say this could be a GNC thing.

Here's my thing... it isn't the kind of thing we do as a committee.  We just don't have to resources to help all the families in need. (How much we wish we did!!!)  We do things like make meals, babysit, or take someone out for coffee as people but not necessarily as a committee.

What was frustrating for me with this situation was how come this person could not just DO something on their own?  Buy flowers and say "thinking of you or happy birthday?"  Get a few people together and go in on a pedicure.  Whatever.

What happened is gossip.  In the name of praying for others... people tend to gossip.  We don't need details.  Just pray.  Ask others to pray.  Everyone doesn't need the scoop.  In this case, an email was circulated, with too many details.  For what?  

As Christians, especially those that allow themselves to be called prayer warriors, it is so important to guard a person's needs as it is to pray for them.  I have a hard time with the term prayer warrior.  It seems to imply a bigness of some sort.  We need to be so careful as we take on the burdens of others that we do not end up hurting in the effort of helping.

Just do unto others... if you were in the same situation.  If your birthday was forgotten and you were in the midst of being in a valley... what would you do or want?  That would be the right thing to do.

Then do it!  Don't wait for others to do something.

Blue...

Today I feel blue.  

O.K... before I get the emails sent with love about this and that... I am on top of it.  I called my doctor, my thyroid is being check tomorrow, as is my sugars etc.  I am really hoping that my thyroid is off in part, simply because then maybe my thinning hair will have an "easy" fix.

I am sure a big part is the season of blues...  never had it before but obviously it has attached itself to me.  I am sensitive to the noise.   I am very impatient.  Have the boys always been so disobedient?

Josh stood there and pooped in his pants while I was making supper.  Apparently he did not want to miss any part of the show he was watching.  This was not a good day to pick to do that kind of foolishness.

It was also that time of the month.  Yes, I know,  TMI.  The point is that I had cramps from out of this world.  I felt like I was in labour all weekend.  I keep thinking that it is time to remove that which causes it... then I make the appointment... and it seems so drastic... because I forget the pain.  I can't live like this.  REMEMBER THE PAIN!!!

Sigh.  So today I called my doctor.  I am feeling bad.  Really bad.  I think I need to come in and see her.  Thank you, God, for modern medicine.  Thank you for my little white pill.

Little things annoyed me today.  Intolerance.  Phone calls.  Bills.  More bills.  Money.  The need for more money.  Josh.  When did he become so disobedient?  How come he can never do things for himself?  He tells me he can only do it at school.  Ha!  I actually threatened him with school today.  I told him if I see wet pants or poopy ones, then he would miss school.  Crazy, eh?  Well, he really loves school.

Tomorrow I am going to Weight Watchers.  I have 20 pounds I need/want to lose.  I have tried, started and failed.  I figured that I need AA but for food.  So I am blogging it.  Tomorrow I get weighed.  You... writing to you... will hopefully keep me more accountable  and hopefully keep me from failing knowing I am blogging it.   (Could you please say a small prayer for me... that God could help me... I know He has a lot going on... Haiti, death, hungry folks, scared and lonely babes... but then there is me with my need ... actually desperate help for fight the battle of feeding my angst.

Tomorrow I will also go get running shoes and make myself go to the gym Wed... Yup, I am blogging it.

Dear God,

I am feeling horrible.  I feel tired.  I am grumpy.  I am feeling blue.

Could you please help me find my happy place again?

I appreciate all that I have... I really do.  I just want to stop wanting to run (well not run literally... haha)  but escape.  I do love and like my life.  I want to feel that satisfaction that I know is in my soul.  Could you please help me?  Please?

Amen.