It's A Hairy Issue!

Ever since I was young I have had hair issues. In my heart, I am a short hair person. I love the very short Halle Berry look. I even went so far as to get a similar cut when I turned 30.

I learned a valuable lesson. What the salons don't tell you is that you may like the hair cut... yet I was very disappointed with the results. Oh, she cut my hair just like the picture... yet what I learned that was so much more important to achieve that look is that I lacked that face!!!

Traumatized, I have never chopped all my hair off again. So now, it is a choice with long hair with layers with no bangs, or with bangs or no layers with or without bangs.

I may play with the level of longness... but it is got to be longer than a bob.

Here is one of my issues... do you ever notice that the senior ladies, for the most part, have short hair? It must be part of a retirement contract or something. SHORT HAIR! The ones that do have long hair have kind of a hippy thing going on.

So what are my choices? Sanj tells me I have major worries... and really I do! Big ones. But sometimes it is the small ones like an appropriate senior haircut that keeps my mind occupied!

So I am trying out new hair ideas.. .What do you think?

Age Old Mud Slinging

My mom's family is in Maryland preparing to bury my aunt on Friday. Her remaining siblings are all there... my mom and 2 of her remaining sisters and her sister-in-law. They have gathered together to perhaps find comfort in each other's presence. Or maybe they are together because it is what people do when someone dies.

Many of my cousins are there... we tend to see each other ... it seems only at funerals now.

My mom has lived a life of being bullied. As a child, she was picked on by her siblings. Perhaps it was just the typical sibling stuff yet it had a significant impact on her self-esteem or lack there of. She was taunted with things as being to dark, or ugly. Instead of getting past this, she allowed it to dictate her view of herself.

She married "later" in life and "settled" for someone that would become her biggest bully. Again she lived with it. She fought back in her own way, yet live her life as a victim.

Back in the presence of her sisters, she is being bullied again. Jealousy causes her sister to resort to the age old method that worked. Even in their 70s... they continue to be hurtful. My aunt is consumed by meanness and bitterness. Ugly things continue to come out of her mouth...

Funerals and wedding seem to bring out the worst in people, don't they say?

Once a bully, I suppose always a bully. Once a victim, always a victim. This I know, not to be true... yet I wish that despite the growth my mom has made in her 70 years... she would be able to stand up to this bully.

Maybe both sisters should be thrown into a bath of mud... and fight it out! Oh.. the visual....

Sad that people have to put others down to build themselves up.

My mom says she is happy... after a lifetime of living by other people's rules, she lives by her own. Mistakes that are made are her own. She is not made to clean up other's messes... anymore. She has found her peace... it may not be what I would choose but it is hers only.

My aunt is jealous of this. She lacks peace... despite the fact that she may have lived a life that was a social norm. Sad. I think that life would suck if you have been robbed of true happiness, something that is in your power, has always been in your power to grasp. You have just missed it.

Maybe I need to just beat her up! (joke)

Eye Spy with My Sore Eye...

7 a.m. came way too early this morning. Back to school. Back to routine. Back to life in the faster lane. I am glad for a stay at home day. These kind of days don't happen unless I am forced to stay at home literally.

Friday night we were at some friends home. Jordan got hit in the eye with an air soft gun. He cried and then seemed to be O.K.
Well the next 12 hours or so were spent with the on and off crying of it hurting. Finally Sanj took him to the E.R. The doctor didn't like what he saw so he sent us to Trenton... an hour and bit away the next morning.

Apparently there is blood built up behind his eye causing the pain and swelling. Nothing can be seen till this subsides. So he is on bedrest till further notice. (Bedrest and a 11 year old boy???) Actually he has done nothing but sleep for most of the day yesterday... which is the best medicine.

So... I pray that all is well that ends well. I can't help but be stressed by the waiting and wondering. My poor baby.

So, it is a quiet day home. The gym will have to wait. Returns will have to wait. I'd like to say that laundry will have to wait but guess this is a perfect day to get caught up.


Happy January 5th!

Can I Ask You a Question?

I got an email from a friend the other day and she ended with this...

"Well, I am getting tired....time to head to bed. Just finished watching an episode of Sex in the City. Interesting question was posed.....'Can you forgive, when you can't forget?' "

It is just a simple email... but that question has really had me thinking. Can you forgive, when you can't forget?"


Then different situations flash through my head... some from a lifetime ago... some big and some small.

Can you forgive when forgiveness hasn't been asked for?

I would think that big hurts... are the ones you never forget. Yet can you REALLY forgive if it is not forgotten?
I would have to say it would depend on the hurt. I would have to say yes.

And here I thought Sex In the City was just about shoes and sex! Who would have thought?

Will the Nice Girls Please Stand Up?

Tonight I met a girl that was sweet, helpful to her parents, beautiful and lovely. I am always taken back by girls that are moody and whiney... all the time. I wonder why that kind of behavior is not put to a stop, especially in public?

Then there are those that have girls, some little and some a little older that are delightful.

This young lady is the kind of girl that we can hope that the boys will pick... she got on the ice with a dozen boys and held her own... actually better than held her own. If I had a daughter, I would hope she would be as delightful as her. I could tell she was not a goodie goodie either.

I am not sure where my mind is ... even thinking of a girl my son may like... Oye... but I suppose that part of me is slowly coming around.

Still a scary thought... but it was a delight to see that there are "nice girls" out there.

Now I just have to hope that my sons will be attracted to the "nice girls."

Goodbye Auntie Kamala...

My mom's younger sister died new year day. My mom left first thing. Sad, her siblings are slowing passing... which makes me think of my mom's own mortality.

I lived with my aunt for a summer in Maryland while I finished some course work. My mom's siblings are all similar to each other. They talk to each other constantly... loving and fighting.

I know my mom will miss her. Sad, yet I know that she is free of pain and suffering. I know that isn't a comfort yet at the same time, it must be.

So many thoughts.

Welcome 2009!

Last night we had a party. We used to always go out, Sanj and I but as the boys got older, we didn't like being away from them on New Year's Eve.

So You invite a few friends who you love...

You have a great hockey game on (Canada vs United States... World Juniors Game)...

You have some cold drinks...

You have a great game (Things In A Box)... Hum....

You have LOTS OF FOOD!

It was a wonderful night! I enjoyed every minute of it... my children enjoyed every minute, especially escaping any normal bedtime.

Goodbye 2008... what a year.


It is going to be a year full of big events for our family. Sammy will graduate and begin high school (wow) Josh will began JK (aw...) and I will start my journey to becoming a real estate agent. (Yikes).

Welcome 2009!