Just A Bunch of Stuff...

I have so much to say... and as my day goes along I think of things that I want to blog about yet I either forget or by the time I have time to write, it seems kind of petty especially with the events of the world.

Yet I miss writing when I don't.  So I will apologize for the little things that make up my day yet they make me who I am.

I have been dealing with my boys and their girl friends.  I am learning how hard it is to be a bystander...

knowing in some things that they must find their way.  One of my babes is friends with many a girl.

Yet, I think he has feelings for a friend (or two) in particular.  Every time they make plans to hang out, she cancels.  This has happened more than a few times.  Friday night, he was to go over to her house... (that is another whole blog)...  and her parents apparently knew and were cool with it.  Then all of a sudden, she couldn't because she was going to her grandparents house.  This is about the 4th time she has cancelled or "stood him up."  My mom bear claws are coming out.  If she can't or doesn't want to ... tell him.  I am all about honestly.  It is better to be hurt by the truth then  being hurt twice as much with dishonesty.

My son insists this is a friendship.  They have hockey in common.  He is in town watching one of her games.  Zachary went with him.  I love that he let Zachary go.  Anyway, I am feeling unsure of how to deal with my babes getting hurt.  I can't put a bandaid on this one, can I?  Yet he seems fine.  Maybe I just know how I would feel.

Sanj is off for 3 days and 2 nights to Toronto for classes.  Sigh.  It is funny because despite the fact that I will have to find a way to get Sammy to classes on time (meaning we have to leave at least a half an hour before the boys normally do), besides knowing I have hockey, guitar and haircuts these days on my own with all of them...  just knowing I am on my own makes me a little more organized.

Weird?  I guess when there are two of you, the expectation is there for help and there is an assumption that it will be easier.  Yet, when it is not easier, that is when annoyance sets in.  Do you know what I mean?

It is all these pressures that I put on myself... such as a yummy, healthy, hot home cooked meal... when Sanj comes home.  When he is gone, I have no trouble just whipping something up... and supper is done.

Friday night (it is always Friday nights), Sanj was behaving badly.  I said, "Do you want a divorce?"  Because I will give you one!"  His reply was "No, then I'd have to have the kids every other weekend."

lol  I love this crazy husband of mine.  He drives me nuts, yes.

 Yet, I am sure I drive him even nuttier.

I am hoping to get some writing time in this week.  I am not sure what to write.  I have  a book pretty much outlined that I wrote years ago.  I would have to do a lot of tweaking and revamping but the shell is done.  Is it what I want to write about now?  I am not sure.  It would be a book about life with my dad. It would be the story of living and surviving.  I want this book to shout out to parents that are living with abuse thinking it is best to keep the family together.  I want it to be a book that gives the child's perspective of life in fear.

The other book idea is one of putting my blog into some form of a book.

Do you have thoughts on this?

I am stalling from getting the dishes done, laundry put away and supper.

Hope your week is a good one.

The Nudge...

I asked the boys to clean up and divided various areas of the house... and each to deal with their room.
I am quite pleased with the out come.  


I was sitting in the family room folding some laundry and something  caught my eye.
Are you kidding me?
No wonder the room was cleaned so quickly and everything was picked up!
My dear messy by nature Jordan shoved everything under the couch.
A quick check into his bedroom showed me a neat room but very cramped quarters under his bed!!!


Oh Bother!


I did find a solution to our dirty floors.  This "new" house has tiles that are light in colour and shows all the dirty!  A good thing, yes, I suppose.  Our last house we put down this lovely grey/taupe 12x12 tile.  I loved it.   It hide the dirt well... but was easy to clean when I cleaned it. 

I bought the Swifer Wet Jet... the boys love it because it is kind of like a toy... with a button to press to squirt out the cleaner and mopping is fun!  I love it because I don't  have to worry about the mop bucket spilling or drowning a child (I saw this on Oprah years ago... and it obviously haunted me).


I am forever looking for creative ways to get the boys to add more of the housecleaning on their chores.
Of course the older ones don't care how 'fun' it may be... they realized the cleaning part of it and complain... so I just say "do it."  If you pee on the floor, seats, ceiling... lol then you can clean it.


I wonder if God gave boys their appendage  to be an annoyance to moms?
Maybe He was just punishing me for my sins by blessing me with 6 that lack aiming abilities!


I do love my boys.


I had sort of a moment the other night.  One of the reasons  I wished for a for a girl is that I feel that I will miss that relationship later in life of a daughter.  I also have seen too many ugly or stressful daughter-in-law/mother-in-law relationships and not enough positive ones to fear the future, so to speak.


I just wonder how to have a great relationship with the ladies in my boys lives.
Then the other night I was on Facebook.  The instant chat pops up and there is Tyler's "friend" saying hi.
I was a bit caught off guard.  I figured maybe she wanted me to get Tyler on line or something.
But no, she just chatted.  It was funny.  
She asked me what I was doing...
 I replied that I was putting the 2 youngest to bed... but it wasn't going to well...
She then told me that she had to put her younger brother to bed the other night and how he was hyper.


OK... we chatted for a few minutes... and I have to tell you it was weird... but cool.
I even told her that Tyler wasn't home but at hockey.
She said that she knew as he wanted her to come to his game.


I had an epiphany of sorts.  Now this isn't Tyler's girlfriend... as he isn't allowed to date till he is 30.  
But I had this moment that life is so different now a day.  There is the possibility to be friends with the ladies in my boys lives... someday.


My mother-in-law was not looking for friendship (at least back then)... it was more about respect and treating her son well.  It was about being "daughterly" but knowing my place, so to speak.  It was all so different even culturally, I suppose.


Maybe God was just opening my eyes a bit.  Maybe He was just showing me that life is full of potential... especially the future.  It is all good.  I need to be open to all that the future will hold.
I always hated when people said to me, "Don't worry, you'll have 6 daughter-in-laws some day." 


I felt that they didn't understand my desire for a daughter.  But really even I couldn't understand it.
But I know that relationships are a two way street.   The future (which I know is a LONG ways away) that will bring ladies into my life... will be full of beautiful possibilities...  I need to be willing and ready to embrace all that may be.


As I ended my chat with the friend of Tyler's, I appreciated the nudge that I felt from God.
Open Hearted... Open Minded...


My heart is pounding at bit...  lol