Monkey See, Monkey Do!

Out of the mouth of my babe:

S:  "Mommy, I am going to grow my mustache during November for prostitute cancer awareness."

Not sure what mustache he may be referring to!  The older boys are so fixated on their supposed facial hair.  "Mommy, is it true that if I shave that my hair will grow in faster?"  This is followed later in the month by, "Mommy, feel my face."  I did.  I wasn't sure what I was feeling for.  "Can you feel my stubble?"  So cute! 

Back to the topic of nicknames for the boys on my blog... T comes in to my office and says, "Mommy, can I be Sukulicious?"  Me:  Yum... NO!

I had lunch with a friend today... yes again.  This seems to go in waves.  I get so occupied with life and its constant demands.  Then I see my girlfriend, like the one I had lunch today with and wonder why haven't we spent any time together?  After that time spent, I feel so good.  Maybe not as alone...  better understood.  

Next week is the Taste of India.  Next week!  How did that happen?  I am feeling a bit of panic.  So much to do.  This town of mine, this community I am part of is such a last minute kinda of town.  It is very frustrating!  I know the tickets will start going... well they are selling... it's just that does everyone have to wait so last minute???  I have asked God for us to sell 100 tickets... 150 would be a huge gift.  :)

My mom is here.  The boys had supper already.  It is 4:43pm.  They feasted on rice and fish curry.  It is an all time favorite.  They love having my mom here.

Today I was thinking of God and how blessed I am to believe in my Heavenly Father.  I love that He gets me.  I love that even when I am disappointed that I can believe with all my heart that He, God, has me covered.  I know that the answer is not yet or maybe just plain no.  I have learned to give up the temper tantrums and just have faith.  Of course, just Sunday I was in the midst of giving into a temper tantrum... yet midway lost the energy.

My cousin put this on facebook...  the article is from National Geographics...  "This chart depicts the public acceptance of evolution theory in 34 countries in 2005. Adults were asked to respond to the statement: "Human beings, as we know them, developed from earlier species of animals." The percentage of respondents who believed this to be true is marked in blue; those who believed it to be false, in red; and those who were not sure, in yellow."

I can't image truly believing in evolution.  I realize that if I wasn't born into Christianity... maybe it may be more of a possibility.


Maybe if my life was not to crazy that I needed to believe in a High Power... in my God that this may be more understanding.


I guess this makes life more interesting.  Each with their own thoughts and beliefs.  I am just so grateful that my God, the One that made me, in His likeness, constantly makes Himself real to me.


I love knowing that there is a big picture and it is all under control.


As I struggle to make sense of some of my realities... I am so glad that the God that made me, understands it all.  Yet really, when I look at some of my family, it is possible to believe in evolution!   ;)


Monkey see, Monkey do!

Mr. and Mrs.

Out of  the mouth of my babes...

Max:  "A few years ago, I thought that  ladies peed from their bum."  Insert crazy laughing.

Tyler: " Today we had to watch the Miracle of Life.  It was gross.  That lady had too much hair.  If she knew that she was going to be video'd she should have shaved."  Insert his mom's face that has a very disturbed look!

Yikes...  I love seeing my boys learning stuff...especially the things that are about life and not learned in school.  Sometimes the facts about life can be so shocking!

I had a good day today.  I took my T out of lunch... and tried to talk to him.  I wanted him to know that life, high school, all that stuff is rough at times.  I wanted him to know that I think that he is awesome.  I wanted him to know that I really need him to talk when things are bothersome so we can help him.

T... instead of writing out my kids names I am going to use initials... since this isn't really about them but about me.  I was telling them about this.... and said pick a name you want me to use... this is what I was given...  check it out...  some of the names my boys wanted to be known as...  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCdmiZyyGjQ.  They are so silly.

If you looked at the calendar at our house, you would see that it is calling for more hockey!  Today Z plays @6 p.m. and JJ and T play @ 7 p.m.  It works out that I can run them in and Sanj will be there to pick them all up.  J was in bed way to late last night.  I am so glad that I can zip into town and zip back.  

I need to be home in the evenings.  It just gives everyone a sense of all is right.  When you have a big house load of kids, it is a blessing to have friends that are willing to pitch in with rides when needed.  

I had the nicest lunch with a friend, totally spontaneous.  It was a great way to spend a bit of time decompressing.  As she talked about my blog, she said how I change from topic to topic...  I looked at her... quizzically, wondering if this is a bad thing?  She said, "you never finish on the topic you start."  True... I am a bit of an ADHD blogger!  :)  So on a totally different note...

Today I was in the school and passed a bunch of kids...  some said, "Hi Mrs. Sukumaran..." others said, "Hi Reema..."  It is such a funny thing... addressing a senior person with their title.  Do you teach your kids to call adults by Mr. or Mrs.?  This is how I grew up.  Everyone was Mr. or Mrs... or they were auntie or uncle.  It didn't matter if there was blood relations there.

I kind of liked it... I didn't have to worry about names.  Everyone was family.  In the last years, we have another Indian (though mixed with other nationalities too) at our school.  They are great.  There is a chemistry that was there from the first.  As we were deciding what the kids would call the adults, it was almost an immediate and natural thing.  Auntie and Uncle... of course.  They are like family.  Actually at times even better as they don't come with the drama that family can bring.  I love walking down the hall and hearing their little ones call out, "Hi Auntie Reema..."

Sanj is old school.  He hates being called Sanj by little people... just saying.  It is a cultural thing.  It is something that is engrained in us.  Often I see teachers, for example, on Facebook... and befriend them.  Often they will say, "Forget the Mrs...."  Yet I can't.  There is respect there... respect that was earned.  

Yet, I see so often the kids using an adult's first name... is this a north american thing?  I don't know.  I do know that I teach my kids to always call someone their senior by their title.  It just feels wrong to me to teach them any other way.

So... I am curious... what do you teach your kids?  Is this no longer a sign of respect?  

This picture is of Z having roasted corn on the sidewalk when we were in Little India... Yummy!  The works included salt, chili and lime...

Stresses...

I feel as if I am drowning in the list of chores that has my name on it.  I can't think straight!  It is freezing outside!!!  I slipped on my flip flops to run the kids to school in my pajamas.  There was frost on the ground and on my windshield.   Brrrr...  My toes are still defrosting.

Getting the boys up today was horrible.  Half didn't want to go to school.  Tyler isn't enjoying high school.  He is such an intense child.  It is so frustrating and yet heart breaking.  Life is so hard.  Stress and anxiety just over take him.  He worries so much.  Today he just didn't want to go.  Half the problem is that he doesn't really talk about his worries and stresses.  He doesn't share the woes of being him.  I realize that part of this is being a teenager but the other part is just him.   If I were to guess, I'd say that socially things are frustrating.  There is so much that happens in a day and despite how little it really is, when you are in it, it is huge.

I feel for him.  I know that being in high school is not easy.   For him, I know that he is going to shine.  It just might be after these four years of high school.  I am not sure what is floating in his head.  I wish I could know, so I could help or at least understand.

This child of mine has always been an old soul.  So while Sammy can laugh off the rudeness of his peers... Tyler is usually appalled by it.  He does not know what to do with it.  I am sure he feels as if he is on the outs looking in.  He is finding his friends changing.  He is my child that does not do well with change.

Then there is Josh... "I don't want to go to school."  Today, I think it was more about him being tired.  I was out last night, doing the hockey thing and gym thing with some of the boys.  Josh doesn't  go to sleep with out me well.  So, understandably he was tired.  A little bribery of candy in his lunch did help.  I keep worrying about how in the world he will be able to handle next year... Grade 1 all day?!!!  I am so that change will happen and  maturity.  I hope so, or else it is going to be miserable for everyone involved!

Glad so many of you enjoyed The Poning episode.  Max is hilarious.  He has a real sense of humor and it is so natural.  I am not sure what to say aside from my boys are very rambunctious.  There is something going on at some point.  There is a constant mix of personalities.  There is so much testosterone floating around here that it is no wonder I am forever needing a wax!


Yesterday I was getting gas in between picking up my high school crew and the elementary crew.  As I was paying for gas, this man looked at me and said, "Are they all yours?"  Mind you, I only had Sammy, Tyler and Josh.  "Yes, I said and that is only half of them."  Normally I wouldn't elaborate but I said, "I have six boys."


This man says, "Don't you guys have blankets in the winter?"  Of course it took me a minute to realize that he was saying... haha... and I said, " You aren't saying anything new.  I have heard it all."


Really?  What makes people say things like that?  A piece of me wanted him to feel dumb for opening his mouth.  I only had three with me and he thought that was a hand full.  


I am always a little amazed at the freeness of a person's mouth.  I am the first to say that I am a pretty open person.  Yet there are things that I would not say or ask someone I didn't know.  Really!  Besides, what does blankets have to do with anything?


Oh well... I am off... Jordan forgot his project, gotta drop that off.   I told Tyler I would take him for lunch... which is in an hour... then I really need to go to the office.


I was begging Sanj to fire me... and he said, "You aren't going to find another job that pays you $1000 an hour."  Really?  Wow...  I guess I'd better go in.  Now... if it really was that much, I'd be in all the time!

PONED!

According to Internet Slang.com PONED is an acronym for  "Powerfully owned, dominated."  

Sammy got PONED today by his brothers.  If my Tyler loses it ... especially at Sammy... then it is well deserved.

I stopped at the grocery store that is minutes from home.  I was gone 5 minutes.  Max came in with tears in his eyes say Sammy was choking him and put him on the ground.  This is the video my Max took of the PONING.  Yes, I am driving.  Yes, I was looking for cops, prepared to say, "Just book 'em."  (Really we were 2 seconds from home... )

This is life with boys.  This is life with my boys.  This is a audio visual of my son getting poned by his brother! lol

This short blog post is dedicated to my social media guru, my brother, www.rajkumardixit.com.

The Hairy Issue!

The older I get, the more concerned I am with my hair.  I used to only have to worry about it being too curly or straight.  Usually it was doing the opposite of what I wanted.  In university, it was long and very straight... so I had a perm  (OK..wait, that was when a perm was cool, lol).  I still love my hair from university days.  It was long, lush (missing that...) and I never worried about it.  

As I creep up into the middle age years, my hair is a pain.  It is thin and still continues to fall out more than the occasional stand.  I fine this disturbing.  

I have blogged about this before but usually you see older women with short hair.  I don't look good in short hair.  As the grey hairs peek through, more so each month, I am vain enough to have this on my things I worry about a lot.

This article about Why Can't Middle Age Women Have Long Hair? in the New York Times got my attention.  Why can't we?  Who is to say it is a fashion mistake?  There are over 1200 comments on this site... I love it.  There is quite a variety of opinions.  I really enjoyed reading to as many as my ADHD self would let me.

What do you think?  I guess I hate that my hair is losing its once natural glory.  lol  I hate that I see spots that are thinning and obsess about it.  Even as I type this, I am thinking that tomorrow I need to make a appointment with my hairdresser to get a trim.  I do wear my hair longer, it is longer than shoulder length and always long enough to be in a pony tail.  Yet I have been cutting it a little shorter to give it a false sense of fullness.

SInce I am behind the camera, there aren't a lot of pictures of me, especially ones I like enough to post... but this is a picture of me having a good hair day...   What will my hair be like in 10 years?  I have a beautiful cousin, 10 years my senior... who wears her hair long... and its so natural that I don't about it.  She is my inspiration!  

Are you a long haired lady?  What's your opinion?

Trick or Treat!

How is it already noon... I was finishing up a book, doing laundry and watching Josh eat his candy non-stop... waiting for me to say "No More!"  He was in heaven.  I even let him eat on my bed... knowing that this will make me change my sheets... 

Yesterday, Halloween, was freezing!  It was 0 degrees as the boy and I walked house to house in our old neighborhood.  We really liked this neighborhood and if it was not for the lack of space, inside and outside of this house, we would still be there.  (Well, maybe).

I was so glad that the boys were freezing enough that we finished relatively quickly.  There is Mother's Day and Father's Day... my kids often wonder how come there isn't kid's day... well I am thinking that Halloween is a Kid's Day!  Dress up and Candy...what more can you ask for?

Apparently we had only one kid at our house, that came by on ATV... he said each house gave him LOTS of candy since he was the only one.  Good plan, eh?

This year since we didn't stay our long, there isn't an insane abundance of candy... usually I gather it all in a box after a couple of days and slowly it disappears or is forgotten about.

Happy Trick or Treat!

Me and My Happy Pill... Together Again

Michael Hyatt... major big shot... whom my brother encouraged me to follow, to learn the ways of the publishing world and a million other things I didn't know... said not to blog more than once a day.  I am breaking this rule... as first, i realize you may not even read this...  and second blogging is my therapy.

Remember I said I went off my crazy pill?  Well... that was a dumb thing.  I am feeling crazy.  I am feeling overwhelmed.  I am feeling very down.  I HATE THIS!!!  I hate that my body needs a pill to make me feel "normal."  I was never like this.  I was alway a happy go lucky kind of person.  

Ever since that ridiculously crazy weekend in Tennessee with my dad waking up from the dead, my middle brother going crazy and me feeling very unsafe for the first time in a long time... I needed a pill.  I found myself ... depressed.  I had dark thoughts all the time and felt like everything was too hard and not worth it.

Once I found the right dosage and pill, life started to feel much better and under control.  That was 3 years ago or so.  Then I went off my pill a few weeks ago.  Part of it was my doctor was passing on her patients to another one and truth be told, it was lot of effort (to me) to phone the new doctor, go through all the things such as a getting to know you process and frankly, I hated that I had to recite all my stuff to a new guy.  It was too much work.  So, I didn't.

I decided that I was better.  I did feel better.  I felt like myself for the first time in years.  I was so energized.

I am not sure what is happening.  Maybe I am crashing.  Maybe I just have a lot going on.  Sanj is gone a lot... with work, committees and hockey.  Often I am a single parent all day.  That would send anyone kooky, right?  Then I have goals and dreams... and I get impatient because my life... real life, keeps getting in the way.  Do the kids really need to eat?  You know what I mean?

So... I am back here again.  I am not as dark as before.  I am just feeling low and irritated.  My sister in law was here a few days ago and was reading a blog.  She looked at me and asked if I didn't care that people knew I was on or needed my pill?  I really don't.  Here's the thing, the other day I was actually feeling irresponsible about just saying that....  that I went off my pill.  That was not the best thing.  I know.  I know that this is so important to be monitored by a doctor.

Please don't do what I did... it was stupid.  I also write because I can't help feeling the way I feel. I can't help the lowness that comes over me.  Depression sucks.  I wish that I knew how to fix it.  Yet I know that medicine works.  I know that I need to go to my new doctor and tell him that I need to change the med or dosage.  I probably need a smaller dosage now.  I don't like that my hyperness is being squashed.  I like my energy and need it to get through my day feeling satisfied.

My  brother told me to write shorter blogs... sorry.  I do plan to follow that ... but this time I am needing to get this out.

I think that if depression and pills were looked at differently, maybe people would be willing to seek help and start feeling better.  I think that it is too bad that most seek help when it is really bad.  I can name a handful of people that need a happy pill.  Yet they don't see it for what it it.  They don't think that they are depressed.  I am waiting for the time when we look at depression as we do about wearing glasses.  I can't see... so I wear glasses.  I cant' help my feelings, so I need a pill.

I am going to call it my happy pill from now on.  I know I am not crazy... but I do like calling it that.  I realize that others could take it the wrong way.  I already know that I am crazy and there is no pill that can help that.  :)

So... I can't wait to feel better.  I can't wait to feel "normal" whatever that is.

Depression sucks.  So just swallow your pill.   And... if this is you... and you have not done anything... Just Do it.  Get help.

Thank you God, for my happy pill.

Baby Steps

This morning I had my Social Media Lesson #2 by the guru himself, www.rajkumardixit.com.  I was excited to spend some time on things that sounded very easy.  Well... 2 hours later, I can tell you that I am frustrated.  All I wanted was to change my blog template to a funky one that I really liked that had all the features I was looking for.  Nope, apparently that was too much to ask for!!!

A website that I needed to open up refused to open 2 hours later.  So, I am felt full of desire and yet very frustrated.  I almost feel like a man!  lol  Sigh.  There is nothing worse for me than to have ideas and not have them pan out immediately.

Grrrr... It is now 11:30 a.m. I have nothing to show for my morning of work.  I have kids home and lunch to be made and then to top it off, have to cart them off to the dentist.  I wanted to make butter chicken for supper tonight but am not sure that will be the case either.

I am whining.  I am so frustrated.  It all sounded so simple on the phone.  Yet when I go the new template on my blog, there was no obvious way to change the pictures from the skinny models in their skimpy outfits to ones of my boys.  I hate not being computer savvy.  

I don't know if I am even on the right path.  Do I have things that people want to hear?  Can I make it as a author, writer and speaker?  On my Twitter page, my brother wrote motivational speaker.  I was balking at that... yet I believe that if given the chance I can indeed do this.  I already have a list of things that I can speak on.  I just need an opportunity.  :)  Yet with that comes traveling... is my family ready for this?

I have to much on the go.  That is half the problem.  I am always mom first, then there is the bathroom project that must be finished.  This  means that the Indian Dinner and the Christmas Craft Show must be done...so that the money is there to finish the bathrooms.  As the bathrooms are being taken care of, there is Christmas shopping that needs to be done.  Oh, actually, there is Jordan's and Max's birthdays first.

In the midst of all this, I need to write.  Just write.  There is so much that is bubbling in my brain that I am feeling on overdrive.  Yikes.

Right now, I need to get off my bum and shower.  Step 1.  Then lunch.. then call the fix-it guy to tell me that my dryer is just a small, cheap problem.  Then supper to be made,  a 2:30 dentist appointment, pick up the my high school guys, supper, youth group and a dance... and make sure the other 4 babes of mine are having a good day too.

Guess step one is to get off this computer so that I can move on to step 2!