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It is Thursday, 10:00 p.m. and I really should be closing my eyes and going to sleep. Tomorrow is a big day... I'll blog it tomorrow... but it is one of my favorite Rhema events.

I have a lot to say and I am not sure I will even be able to type all my thoughts...

First of all, I am feeling more like myself. The happy pill is working. Thank You, God, for modern medicine, for carrying me when I couldn't walk at all. How much I love you!

I didn't see it, The Oprah Show today but I did read the article. http://www.oprah.com/article/oprahshow/20090924-tows-stephanie-plane-crash

The first thing I read was that she was a mommy blogger with a great following of her life as mother of 4 children. Immediately my thought was ... "How come I can't be a successful blogger?" I admit, jealousy flashed through me... as I continued readying... I was immediately filled with shame. Please read her story.

If you are a mom that struggles with the ho-hum of everyday mommy stuff... just watch her video of fighting to do the everyday stuff for her children as much as it hurts her physically.

I was struck my how she said that she had to say goodbye to herself. How many times have I wanted to say goodbye to me... and all I know? It hit me that life and the pressures that often send me over the edge are pressures I and only I put on myself.

I have to learn that it is OK to say NO to things that will send me over the edge. Sometimes the person I have to say no to is my own child. And I have to be OK with that.

Tyler had a soccer tournament 45 minutes from here. I was guilting myself that I should really have gone to watch. Yet, with the Thanksgiving Dinner happening tomorrow at Rhema (OK, I told you...) I just had so much to do. My house needed attention, I had to track down table clothes, makes phone calls, and on and on it went.

So I didn't make it to the tournament. I felt really bad. Part of it was really selfish because I really didn't want to stand in the cold rain and freeze.

I was the only one feeling bad. Tyler didn't even give it a second thought. He had a great day.

I need to appreciate all that is what my life is made of. I don't have to like it all, but I do really need to see each day as a gift... a gift I so often take forgranted. The gifts that each of my children are... despite the pain in the butts they can be too.

This lady had to say goodbye to herself. Talk about counting your blessings... one by one....