Breaking Dishes, I Mean Habits!

Thanksgiving.... all done. Everyone is stuffed with stuffing and turkey and all the trimmings.

I am tired. I am glad that everyone came, ate and now the house is quieter and stiller.

I think I get the holiday blues. What I mean by this is growing up, holidays were not really the funniest (to say the least). My dad always made an attempt to ruin them.

When I got older and had my own family... I thought that magically holiday would finally be.

But you don't pick your family. You don't. I already bring my dysfunctional family into the mix but I didn't count on the fact that I am marrying into a "not into the holiday spirit" kind of family.

I realized that this year. I have too high expectations. Happy families are ones that are healthy and present. They may not be all smiley or engaging... but it is what it is.

I have some traditions that I want to instil in the boys... clean up. This is a sore spot with me. Usually the men disappear... waiting to be served dessert. This upsets me to no end.

Sanj and his brother were raised in very traditional households, where their mom pretty much served their dad... even to this day. Last year I said, "We cooked... so they guys can clean up."

They didn't have a problem with this... but their mother did. She got up right away and planted her self in front of the sink. She refused to let them do it. I was really annoyed. What is this teaching the boys?

This year as my sister-in-law and I cleaned up after everyone did the token tidy up... and my mother-in-law settled on the sofa... I realized that they weren't taught this .

I am not going to have this cycle continue. I was thinking that as the boys come home as they get older... it is a matter of sharing the duties. Those that don't help cook are on clean-up duty.

It is about learning, breaking habits and building ones that make everyone happy.

Maybe it is petty... maybe it isn't. If you are the one that shopped for the food, cooked the food, and then have to wash and clean it all up... it makes for a grumpy mom.

Thanksgiving was good for the boys. That is who I do all this for. I am so grateful for the chance to raise up boys to fine, well rounded, thoughtful men. I am sure my future daughter-in-laws will thank me! lol

A Perfect Day!

Have you ever had a perfect day? For me, that entails great weather, being with people I love and

being part of something awesome. A perfect day comes with its drama... but that only adds to the mix.

One of those days was my wedding day. I really don't need to explain, do I? If you know Sanj, my hubby, you know I found my prince charming. It was one of those days that was magical with its share of discombobulating moments.

Today was a perfect day. I have to say I am feeling 100% back to me. Our school is a place where magic happens. It is the kind of thing that is so hard to put into words, but let me try.

Today was a day we threw a Old Fashion Thanksgiving Dinner. Our guest were seniors from the Peterborough community who are lonely, alone or just were sent by God to be there.

There is this amazing group of moms... the Good Neighbor Committee... they are a group committed to being a Good Neighbor to our community.

It is a day that starts with donated food brought in by parents. Turkeys, stuffing (actually killer stuffing), gravy, veggies, potatoes, cranberries, rolls, pies (some homemade from scratch), juice, coffee and/tea.

We cook, cut, slice, heat and serve.

We have a lovely morning of chatting, worrying about enough food, pink turkeys, and working hard.

There is a team of ladies who set up tables, decorate the tables, put out all the dishes and cutlery (NO PAPER PLATES here!!!!).

There are moms who worked with the grade 4s to make lovely fall pins for each senior that comes. There are moms that worked on making lovely centerpieces for each table.

Then usually 30 minutes before time, the seniors start to come in.

The 8th graders come down, dressed neatly, coming to be dinner guest and eat with the seniors.

It is show time! Food is served, conversation is taking place... it is so lovely.

Then there is entertainment. You won't find a better dinner theatre around.

Grades 1, 2, 3 and 4 come in and sing songs of God's love.

If you missed it... it really was an indescribable moment. Beautiful. Lovely. Angels were beaming. Really... if you missed it ... it is what Websters would have as a perfect moment. It is why I send my children to this place. It is a place where God was smiling down.

Suddenly, as I watched our principal, staff members, students and parents... all part of this moment, I knew God has the future of our school in His hands. All that rough stuff, annoying stuff... it is all good. God has got it in His hands.

Everyone is engaged and having a good time. There is enough food! Staff and the 8th graders enjoy a yummy meal too.

I was in the bathroom and overheard some ladies... "What a lovely meal. And the lovely lad that was at our table was just delightful. What a lovely time."

What a great group of 8th graders. They were polite, engaging and thoughtful. One girl took her table of seniors on a tour of the school, all on her own. How awesome, isn't it?

As it all comes to a close, it seems as if some of the seniors are reluctant to leave.

God, please bless this lovely people that came today. May they have been blessed and seen Your love in this day.

Then the 8th graders amaze again. Without being told, they break down the tables and chairs. They are in the kitchen doing dishes and drying. They are an awesome group!

There are dishes... lots of dishes. LOTS OF DISHES! lol

There are many dishpan hands tonight.

There are smiles of contents. This day was perfect only because of the willing hearts of lovely ladies. They just give. They are an inspiration to me. I feel so blessed to have them in my life.

They feed my spirit. My spirit is overflowing.

It was a perfect day because of the willing hearts of staff, teachers, students and an awesome principal.

This is a place filled with God's servants.. and it is what made a special day a perfect day!

Seeking Success...

Tonight I went out into the dark, cold, windy, rainy night to hear a real published author speak.

Lawrence Hill, author of The Book of Negroes was at Trent University.

I was taken by the normalness of him. I want so badly to be a somebody. What I mean is I have never been really good at anything. I never really knew what I was good at. At the age of 40 + 1

I realize that I can learn to be good at something.

I would love to be a famous author or photographer. Famous? I had to think about that. Not famous as much as successful. I would like to be successful in one or both of those passions, yet not give up being 100% mom either.

I was inspired tonight as I realized that maybe it is obtainable. Success is a definition that is different for each, is it not?

I went to Trent with a young lady that babysat for us since she was 12 years old. Now she is 21 or so and a lovely lady. She asked me if turning 40 was hard?

For me, it really wasn't. I felt like I had succeeded in life and was happy with the place in life I was at... at that point. What was my success? My boys. Have you met them? They are pretty special, each so different and unique. Each of them my work of love for the past 14 years and counting. So 40 was good.

What will the next 10 years bring? How will I define success? I am not sure. I felt pretty good today though. I came home to an email about someone that read my confessions of melting down. She mentioned how our family seemed so perfect. I guess reading my reality made her realize she is not alone ... in her tiredness of being mom and 1001 other things.

Sometimes I question my lack of censorship with my writings. Yet, really, this is me.

The good, the bad and the ugly.

So thank you, friend for writing me. We, my family, are no where near perfect! LOL... literally!

We are so far from perfect... it is scary.

But the bottom line is that we really do love each other. If you have that, love, then you will make it.

As far me seeking the satisfaction of success... it is a journey I am on.

I can't wait to see where it goes.

Step one... in the journey... a photography course and a course on using my camera.

I am so excited! The school part, not so much, but ready for that ride!

www.nieniedialogues.blogspot.com

It is Thursday, 10:00 p.m. and I really should be closing my eyes and going to sleep. Tomorrow is a big day... I'll blog it tomorrow... but it is one of my favorite Rhema events.

I have a lot to say and I am not sure I will even be able to type all my thoughts...

First of all, I am feeling more like myself. The happy pill is working. Thank You, God, for modern medicine, for carrying me when I couldn't walk at all. How much I love you!

I didn't see it, The Oprah Show today but I did read the article. http://www.oprah.com/article/oprahshow/20090924-tows-stephanie-plane-crash

The first thing I read was that she was a mommy blogger with a great following of her life as mother of 4 children. Immediately my thought was ... "How come I can't be a successful blogger?" I admit, jealousy flashed through me... as I continued readying... I was immediately filled with shame. Please read her story.

If you are a mom that struggles with the ho-hum of everyday mommy stuff... just watch her video of fighting to do the everyday stuff for her children as much as it hurts her physically.

I was struck my how she said that she had to say goodbye to herself. How many times have I wanted to say goodbye to me... and all I know? It hit me that life and the pressures that often send me over the edge are pressures I and only I put on myself.

I have to learn that it is OK to say NO to things that will send me over the edge. Sometimes the person I have to say no to is my own child. And I have to be OK with that.

Tyler had a soccer tournament 45 minutes from here. I was guilting myself that I should really have gone to watch. Yet, with the Thanksgiving Dinner happening tomorrow at Rhema (OK, I told you...) I just had so much to do. My house needed attention, I had to track down table clothes, makes phone calls, and on and on it went.

So I didn't make it to the tournament. I felt really bad. Part of it was really selfish because I really didn't want to stand in the cold rain and freeze.

I was the only one feeling bad. Tyler didn't even give it a second thought. He had a great day.

I need to appreciate all that is what my life is made of. I don't have to like it all, but I do really need to see each day as a gift... a gift I so often take forgranted. The gifts that each of my children are... despite the pain in the butts they can be too.

This lady had to say goodbye to herself. Talk about counting your blessings... one by one....

Fishing Without Fear...

This is an article that was posted in the Peterborough Examiner a month ago:

Hate crimes cops are investigating the case of a 12-year-old boy accused of pushing a Toronto angler into the water in Kawartha Lakes, police said yesterday.

A 46-year-old Asian Canadian man was fishing with his family from a bridge on Canal Lake when police say the boy came up from behind and pushed him into the water on Friday afternoon.

The boy was found by police nearby and charged with one count of assault.

Given the recent history of Asian Canadian anglers being pushed into Ontario waters, the case could have much deeper implications.

How ridiculous is this? A 12 year old that has learned to hate and discriminate against another person because someone looks different. How humiliating for the angler that is minding his own business to have been pushed into the water. How frightened his family must have felt.

As a minority, living in Peterborough, I, for the most part, forget that I am ethnically different than most of my peers. I didn't usually see races. People are people.

It made me sad to hear this on the radio yesterday...

The news was saying how signs are posted along the Trent-Severn Waterway between Lock 19 and Lock 26. Eight of the signs will eventually be posted along the Trent-Severn Waterway between Lock 19 at Lansdowne St. and Lock 26 in Lakefield, said Jack Alexander, director of operations for the waterway, and the three others will be posted at popular fishing spots such as the Little Lake marina and the Lakefield marina.The signs read "Fishing without Fear" in English, French and Chinese and have the number for Crime Stoppers at the bottom.

We all have red blood running through our veins. When will be stop judging a book by their cover?

How often am I guilty of doing the same? Too often. I am often put to shame when I get to know that "book" and see its real content.

The Perfect PJs!

Enough of my pity party. Thank you for loving me... just as I am. I am starting to feel a bit more of myself finding my groove again.

This weekend we went to the one of the boys favorite stores... Hockey Life. There is thousands of square feet of just pure hockey. (Insert rolling of eyes).

They built one closer to us... so all my boys were thrilled.

As I was wondering, I saw this .... an one piece body suit of some sort, jock included... so all one would need to do is add the necessary hockey equipment.

I called Sanj over.... "look this is perfect... " I said.

He said... "for what?"

I said... "You new pajamas!" I was really laughing... especially at his look!

Talk about instant birth control! lol

Lost and then Found!

This is how God reaches me. I just posted my blog about me being lost in blackness.

I didn't write about how lost I am feeling. LOST. I need to feel God is there for me. I NEED TO FEEL HIM IN CONTROL!

The phone rings. I have ignored the phone today. I pick it up. It is Sammy.

"Mommy, I got my phone back. They paged me to the office. Someone found it."

I knew as I prayed for Sammy's phone to be return that it was a long shot. I knew as I posted on my status on Facebook that God would have to do His thing... a miracle to happen for this to have a happy ending.

It's Monday... 11:11 a.m. God knew I need Him. God knew I needed to see Him. There He is!

How much I love this God of mine. I am not alone. I can feel Him now. I know that I will make it.