CLOSED

Lately I have been contemplating the fact that some people are like a store that is closed. They are full of personality, talent and usually are the kind of people that others are drawn to. Yet, if you analyze them for a moment (for me ... it took years) you realize that there is nothing of substance that comes out.

They are engaging and so you don't realize that they never "give" back. The giving I am talking about is not tangible but rather the intangible. They never really OPEN the store and allow you to browse. You never hear about them... the real them. Yet they are so full of BS that you never realize that you are just window shopping... you get to peek in, see what some of the stuff that is available... Yet you NEVER get to really go in!

The BS... OK I have to say it... the Bull Shitter (boys... if you are reading this YOU BETTER not say that word)!!! I have written this because the reality of this kind of person is a huge betrayal. I have a couple of these kind of people in my life and truthfully considered them my friend for many years. But the reality is I share... I open myself to be "browsed" and assume that this is a mutual thing. Unfortunately, the reality that it isn't, is a shock... and I feel like a fool. Actually I feel like a HUGE fool.

It is a slow realization that comes over me. Nothing... I have not been allowed in. They are a smooth operator. Now Sanj is of the belief that they don't even know they are full of crap. They don't know WHO they are. They lie to themselves. They don't know what is in the "store" if they were to open it.

So here I am, a bit sad for them... but really annoyed that I fell for the BS. I thought that we were friends. But really, it is the "show" that the world gets. She is kind, thoughtful to the point of annoying, yet fake. REAL FAKE.

I am annoyed that this kind of person gets the kudos that they do. Isn't she lovely? Yum, actually she is not.

I am angry. Usually people don't get under my skin. I believe that everyone gets a chance. Everyone has good in them. I believe that if I am real (which is all there is in me) that you will be too.

So the hurt I feel is mixed with rage. I wish I could have nothing to do with this kind of person but unfortunately they are in my world... in my space. So I feel violated when they are in my space.

Hum... wonder how much a disappearing act would be? OK... just a joke... if they do sink in a hole ... I am innocent!