Last night I was up late wrapping gifts. (Usually I am wrapping Christmas Eve... so this is good!) As I wrapped, I began to get excited! I love Christmas. I love gifts... giving gifts... thinking of gifts and shopping for gifts! It is the best feeling in the world.
I wish I could freeze the moment the gifts are opened.
Christmas cheer was oozing out of me! Then this evening I felt a bit of the blues overtaking my emotions. I am reminded of that fine line... love and hate... happiness and sadness... Christmas is always a little sad ... it is always there. It is an underlining emotion that i can never shake.
I guess there is so loss that Christmas represents. I know this is true with so many friends. I remember last Christmas chatting with some friends on this topic... and the tears welling in eyes. Missing of parents... missing the relationship of a parents. So as I focus on this time of love, peace, joy, of celebrating the gift of God's gift... I remember you.
You are not along in your sadness or loss. It is OK to feel that loss... that only comes from loving someone. Just know that I pray that the season's love and blessing fill your heart... and that void is less of a void shared.
So as I allow myself to feel the sadness and losses of things that never were... I am so GRATEFUL for all the things that ARE now.
I am learning to release the past... and not let it weigh down my present.
Speaking of presents... I got some great ones today! :)
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