Straightening Up!

My dear children have inherited horrid teeth. Sanj and I both had years of orthodontics to help our smiles. So it is no surprise that the boys... all follow suit.

Tyler has the craziest teeth ever! If you were taking a hike in his mouth you would have to do some serious navigation as there is certainly no straight path!

Yesterday was the big day... Braces! My boy has been a trooper. He was very anxious initially and did a great job being brave.

His beautiful smile is only going to break more hearts! Oye...

Whooped!

Motherhood... usually you hear all the joys of it. The occasional sob story... and then the usual complaint about laundry, lunches and all the annoyances of life.

Yesterday I wondered why I never hear of motherhood equated to a dishrag, used, wrung out and hung to dry.
.

I am a mother to my children. This is all I have ever wanted was to just get it right. ( I didn't say perfect...) I expect nothing... thanks and hugs are bonuses. Manners are demanded. Aside from that ... not much else.

I always thought that I would have children that confided in me. I have worked hard to build trust and lead by example.

I always wondered if one of the boys had a crush on a girl (well even a boy...) they would shared their thoughts with me.
I always thought that we would do the journey of teenage years together.

I was wrong. I am not even allowed in that vehicle much less invited to go on the journey.

I get it. NO MOMS ALLOWED. Sanj was like this. HE was very private with his thoughts. I can't remember actually sharing mine with my parents but I never hid it.

I guess I just thought if I did it right (at least the way I think is right) I would be there with them.
Some parents get this. Obviously this is not my privilege.

I hate that I can not do anything right. "Do you want me to help you with your Science project?"
"No... I got it.
At 10 p.m. I am in bed... ready to release all the stresses of the evening... I hear " Mom, could you help me glue this?"

I know... I am first the parent. But it sucks to always be wrong or offensive even when you are thinking you are not.

So as I get my hugs from Josh, my "I love you" from Zach, my "Thank you, Mommy" from Max, my hug and kiss from Jordan (only at bedtime), and my "Thanks Mom, I love you" from Tyler... I am grateful for the non- moody moments that pass in the 24 hour period from my dearly loved oldest.

Infliction of the hormones must suck. Yet deep down I must settle for knowing that I CAN buy a smile with a wanted spring jacket... lol. I must settle in knowing that I have spent the last 13 years loving this child/young man as hard as I can. I have done the best I have known how. And when I have messed up, I have said the hard 'I am sorry."

I have the hope that the infliction is a passing thing... in a few years I am told it will be replaced with the budding of a fine young man.

And as each day passes... I get promises from the young ones that as THEY come to the ages of raging hormones... they WILL love their mom. They will smother me with hugs and juicy details of their hearts. Yah Right!

As the mother of a teenager, I feel like a dishrag... useful to clean up messes then left wrung out and laid to dry... till the next situation arises.

I am so whooped!

Puppy Love

This is our little puppy... her name is little Bala. I am not sure if that name will stay... as Josh really want to name her Indie. :)

She is about 5 weeks old. We saw her when she was a day old. This weekend we will get to see her romping around the yard. She is the smaller one of the litter yet beats up her siblings! She should fit in just fine! :)

The boys are in love. They all want one ( each a different one) from the litter of 6 pups. Yikes!

Can't wait to bring her home.

Yah... yah... I know all the stories already.

She will come home later April, I believe.

Puppy love... you can see where that comes from.

My Dad Was Here...

On Friday my dad came for a visit.

Yes, my dad... He came and spent the day here.

I gave the boys the choice to have lunch with him or not.. We went to our usual spot, East Side Marios.
We then came to my house and hung out for a bit.

It was all good. No expectations resulted in me being good with everything.

I have wondered why God bought my dad back from the dead literally.
Have wondered why God just didn't take him. He was almost there.

Maybe because of all this. Maybe I will never have a Daddy here... but I have found peace and acceptance.

Maybe my dad isn't going to change but maybe God is giving me a chance to change.
I have had help (through coaching etc) to come to terms with the fact that I will never have a Daddy.
I have had help (through God's grace) to come to terms that only I suffer from the rage and anger.
I have had help (through others God has placed in my life) to realize that I must love the ones that are with me... not the ones I wish were with me.

Friday... it was good, It was what it was. I said "call me when you are in town again, Dad."
God is good. God is...

I am so thankful for this time to be a better me.

The Color of the day is GREY!

It is Sunday morning, 9:32 a.m. It is rainy and grey outside. Perfect!

After a busy day yesterday, I am looking forward to having a day home.

There is a dozen baskets of clothes waiting to be put away (my mom was here and did laundry).
There are a couple of science projects to finish.
There is a book that I am in the middle of ...

A day home.

Happy Rainy Sunday!

Happy Birthday Joshua!

How I love this boy of mine! With each passing day, I see the beautiful gift that he is.
Today Joshua Daniel is FOUR YEARS OLD!
He is a truly beautiful child.
He believes that life is all about him.

When he climb up on our bed... he believes that the middle spot is HIS! It doesn't matter who else is there.
He believes that the love in our family is all about HIM.
He knows that if there is a problem, any one of his brothers can FIX it!
He trusts the love.

Even when he is mad, he trust the love.
How beautiful is that?

He is a boy all his own. He loves GUNS! He loves fighting and shooting. He loves bad guys and good guys.
He loves Indiana Jones. He loves Agent 99 (Get Smart). He loves Ninja Turtles and Power Rangers. He loves army guys.

He loves vegetables and fruits. He loves me saying "You are so healthy!"
He loves his cowboys boots.

He loves clothes... especially suits, vests and ties.
He is not a tee-shirt kind of guy.
He loves bras... hehe... much to Sanj's chagrin.
He loves to walk around in my heels.

Josh is a child that is a gift. He will be greatness. Well he is greatness already.
He is a bundle of joy and pain all in one. He is full of love and yet can exhaust the most energetic of the bunch.
He is as yummy as jelly beans... His favorite candy.

Joshua Daniel Sukumaran ... I love you!
Happy Birthday My Yummy Jellybean!

Me

I have been writing for me. Lately I have been writing yet wondering what others would think if I wrote xyz.

Today Max was home (still not sure if it is really pink eye,,,) and we were chilling on the bed while Josh napped.

We were making silly videos. This is one that just had me laughing. I hope it makes you laugh too.

Yes, I know I am weird.

I just don't want to lose me in this blog... it is meant to be real. I am a "what you see is what you get" kinda person.

You gotta comment on this! LOL!