Carnivorous ...

I am not a meat lover by nature.

If I was not married to a carnivore that needs his meat every meal or it isn't a meal...

I would be a vegetarian.

My boys take after their father.

They love their meat.

They love seafood.

They are not afraid to try things.

Sushi, shrimp, calamari, clams, mussels,

(I can hear you gagging, Shelley... lol)

Today I was going to try to recreate the fish I had over the weekend.

As I was searching for recipes to get an idea, I can across this recipe that is basically a seafood medley in a stew.

So... I made my version of 

Cioppino

a delish medley of things under the sea.

I wanted to take a picture of the boys eating but was too lazy to get my camera out.

They were in heaven.

So glad to have a dinner where everyone was happy.

I so appreciate their adventurous taste buds.

I 

Beware...

I could tell you about my evening spent fighting with my oldest...

I could tell you about the moodiness that invades his being...

I could tell you I am not even sure how to parent him when he is like this...

I could tell you that I would have had that attitude beat out of me...

I could tell you that I am so torn with love and annoyance toward my not so little man.

It is so tiring. 

I feel like I am getting it so wrong.

I am tired.

He is tired.

Could he just not see how much I love him?

I wonder where that little boy with the Nike cap went? 

Is he in there still?

I could tell you that this part is hard.

I hate feeling frustrated and angry at him.

Yet his rudeness and attitude is so in my face.

I can't ignore it.

So I keep at it...

I keep correcting...

I keep reprimanding...

I keep trying.

When is it going to end?

When is my boy going to run out of his moods?

He will run out of them, right?

Please God... give us both what we need.

Today...

I have promised myself that I will live in the moment.

So often I would think that when the boys are at this phase in life then I will....

Or when I have enough money, then I will...

The thing about Sanj's clinic is that you meet amazing people.

The thing that so many keep saying is

"Enjoy it... it goes so fast."

So... I decided that I will not focus on tomorrow... 

because really which of us are promised tomorrow, right?

I will focus on loving my family today.

Suddenly I am realizing that time is passing real fast.

As I shopped today for clothes for some of the boys, I was feeling distress that  my Max is wearing a size 12.  My Zach is in size 8 and my Josh is no longer in the baby/toddler section.

No more babies.  No more onesies, sleepers or little booties.

No more little people toys.  No more chunky books.

It feels weird to pass those sections while I shop.

But now as I live in the moment, 

my little men are into big boy clothes and big boy toys.

Living in the moment means living, loving and and breathing all the blessing and burdens of today.

Today is ours.

Yesterday is gone.

Tomorrow is not a given.

Give me the strength I need for today.

Today... Thank you, God, for today.

The Weekend...

This weekend Sanj and I were in Toronto with some folks he worked with from Collingwood.

Every Christmas we join them for their office party.  They spoil their staff every year.

This year it was an overnight stay at the Toronto  Sheraton, dinner at a delicious restaurant and then tickets to see the Sound of Music.

Every year we go through the stress of what we will do with the kids.  This year we left them with our babysitter.  I love this girl!  Not only is she gorgeous, she is so capable.  I came home to a house that was tidy, the boys were clean and all was good.  Bingo.  Why is their family now moving?  :(

My only concern (but not really) was every time I asked what they ate, they would answer cookies or cookie dough! lol

I had a scrumptious dinner (at  Red Tomato/ Fred's Not Here).  Roasted Filet of Sole w/ Grana Padano Garlic Sauce was my dinner entree.   It really was one of the best fish I have eaten. Simply and yet very tasty!!!  It was served with tiny fries and sweet potatoes fries and asparagus.  It is my goal to recreate it this week.... or at least attempt too.

Sound of Music... fabulous!!!  I loved it, again!

A night with my hubby was icing on the cake!

We did a bit of Christmas shopping and then it was back to reality.

The Brothers...

Brothers Stick Together

is our family motto, if you will.

From the time the boys were young, we have taught them that no matter what, 

Brothers Stick Together.

My boys fight constantly.  Maybe because there are so many of them, but it seems someone always seems to be at odds with someone.

It is annoying.  It is frustrating.  It feels like I am failing as a parent.

Can they not just get along?

Apparently not.

Then someone messes with one of them.

One of the brothers has been hurt.

It is a whole different story.

This hurt that was experienced this past week was a real experience.

They came together.

All they knew was that one of them had been hurt.

It was a real neat thing to watch.

Sammy was up at arms.

"Let me at him..." he says as we approached the school.

"Now Sammy..."  I start...

"Mom, Daddy is always saying Brothers Stick Together... so all I am doing is obeying him," is Sammy's reply.  

(Now he decided to obey??)?

At dinner as Sanj and I are trying to talk about this situation... while we defuse our own anger... the boys begin...

I won't write the creative outlets they came up with but I must say they had me laughing and distraught all at the same time.

Vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord...

but if God is short on ideas, 

 the Sukumaran boys had lots of ideas.

There was a lot of pride flowing through my heart as I watched them come together.

It was a beautiful thing to watch.

Thank you, God, for my beautiful loving boys.

May Brothers Always Stick Together.

How Dare You???

I have needed to write so badly.  Yet if I could say what needed to be said, how it needed to be say... it wouldn't have been pretty.  So I have written and then deleted.  Written and then deleted.  I am writing again.

How do you handle someone hurting your baby?  The ugliness of words is a devastating thing.  A punch... not cool but definitely something that time will erase.  The ugliness of words... that has a lifelong effect.

Comments made about one's color of skin is so sad.  It is the kind of thing that creates such anger... and yet when you pause and think it through... one can only have pity on a person or family that feel such insecurities to make comments on things that are so irrelavant.

A comment was made about a child that one of my boys likes.  It was said that one should not date outside of ones race.  Blacks should be with blacks and whites with whites.  Are we really living in 2009?

Then there is the dreaded he said she said.  There is the "my child would never do that."  There is the vicious need for hurting back.  
How dare you hurt my babe?

There is no punishment that can be handed out that will erase the hurt caused.

But I have to stop and focus on the amazing friends that my child has.

His friend from JK... his sidekick... a boy that is quiet and unassuming and would not hurt a flee... slapped this child and said, "that isn't nice."

Do I condone the slap?  Of course not.  Do I applaud this child that has been raised with the knowledge of wrong/right that the natural gut instinct is a  physical one? 

Yes!

Sanj and Tyler were stunned to hear this was the friend's reaction.

Tyler's reaction was, "He did that? Yes!"

I love that the children in this class stood up when ugliness raised its head.

This is an issue we knew our children would have to deal with eventually, especially living where we do.  We just never thought that it would be so soon.

My kids will be OK... as Sanj and I survived that ugliness as it is just a part of life.

My kids are surrounded by the true actions of love everyday.

When this happened, Tyler's reaction was, "I want Mrs. H."

How awesome that he knew where to seek safety and comfort.

There will always be the thorns amid the roses...

There will always be a beast among the beauties...

There will always be bad amid the good...

I pray that my son(s) will  never let ugliness taint their beauty.

I pray they will never give in to the little doubts life throws their way but rather see themselves as the gift(s) God bless us with.

Infallible

So here is the thing...  most kids are not perfect.  I'd say 99.9% of the people I know have great kids that are normal.  They do things that need correcting, they can be mean, fib and do things that need parenting.

They are normal.  They aren't perfect.  They are human.

Then there is the very small percentage of parents that really have perfect kids.  They will tell you, their child would never lie.  Their children would never be mean or hurtful.  Their children are perfect.

Can I tell you my thoughts on this?  I think that this is the most dangerous kind of parenting.  I think it is great to be your child's advocate.  In fact, that is your role.  I think it is awesome to believe in your child.  That is your role as a parent.

But when you don't give your child room to be human... you are setting them up.

How can your child come to you when they do mess up... big or small?  Children like this feel an awesome responsibility of not letting their parent down.  So they learn to cover up.  They learn that their parent will believe in their infallibleness.  It will always be someone else's fault.

Usually this .01% of children live in a dream world.  They do not know how to function in the real world.  

Over the years, I have made many mistakes parenting my children.  I wish I had the rule book on Perfect Parenting.  Yet, what I love about my children is their ability to forgive me and give me chance after chance.  

What I love about my children is that they mess up.  They even try to cover up their messes.  They come up with the craziest stories (lies).  I think that they actually believe the stories they are making up!

Somebody is always needing me to teach them about real life.  

Someone is always needing me to show them why beating each other up is probably not a good idea... here are some better ideas to try.  Someone is in need of learning why procrastination isn't the best.  Someone needs to understand why name calling isn't so nice.  

Everyday there are lessons that they need to be taught.  Some of these "lessons" are repeated over and over.  More often then not, they don't seem to get it.

They mess up.

(I know each of you have a story to tell like this).  But this is one of my funniest memories of my sweet Max.  A few houses ago, there was whitish carpet in his room.  He was in JK/SK at this time.  He was so proud of learning to write his name.  I came in one day... and there in huge JK writing was the word Max... in black crayon.

Oh my gosh!  I was not impressed, yet still kinda impressed.  I call the boys into the room.  "Who did this?"    Quiet.  

Silence.  Obviously it wasn't the right thing to do.

"Why, I was just admiring the beautiful writing." 

"I did it!"  Max exclaims delighted.

Busted.  Then it went from there into a lesson on how this wasn't the best place for his art work.

If children do not learn that part of life is about making mistakes and learning from then... adulthood is going to be rough.

Isn't it?

So... having a perfect kid is one of life's blessings isn't is?  A perfect kid is one that learns to accept his mistakes and make things right.  A perfect kids is one that is in a mode of constant learning.

Thank you, God, for my 6 perfect sons.  Thank you that they know they can mess up.  Thank you that they know You love them unconditional.  Thank you for the laugh out moments of being mom to them.

How I love them!  Thank you for the work in progress each of us are!  Amen