Whose Child Are You?

I just wrote my blog about Manners this afternoon.  As I was writing, I couldn't help but worry about how this blog on manners was written to myself.  See, over the last 15 years I have parented non-stop... well because there in no Pause Button while Parenting.  I was younger, full of energy and then some.  I could keep up with 5 laddies in 7 years.  Is that even right or possible?  (OK, Let's not go there... I was insane)!!!  I taught my boys there please and thank you.  I taught them to obey and listen for the most part (though since they have became teens some of them seem to have lost those lessons... in the wake of their hormones).

I felt pretty good about the boys.  My first, second, third, fourth and fifth were my life work and I was proud to put them on display  (of course there were always the exceptions over the years).

THEN... came Josh.  I will be the first to admit, we didn't need another baby.  Yet, when those pangs hit... there is no ignoring them.  Then there is Sanj... he never says NO to me.  I wanted to try one last time for a girl.  I just couldn't give it up.  I knew we had the odds against us.  Yet... I was willing to try and really I loved babies!

So, Josh came along.  He was stubborn from day 1.  He took 12 hours to finally get out of my body!  Zach took TWO hours.  Everyone was scared at the quickness of his birth.  Well, little did we know that there was no need to worry... he was going to take his sweet painful time.  Then came his obsession with me.  I was suffering from postpartum depression in a bad way... I needed him to leave me alone.  He wouldn't listen.  The more I needed space, the more he smothered me with love.

Over the years, I would like to think that I have raised him the same as the others.  He was spoiled with love and yet taught the things you teach your laddies.  Yet... being number 6, he also had the loving of 5 other brothers who found it easier to just give into his will then fight it.

I found it easy to give into his needs so that he would quiet down and give me the 15 minutes to make supper or do the endless things that needed to be done.

I try to stay strong.  I feel like i am reprimanding and correcting yet it is so different.  When I swatted his butt, after it was much needed, he looked at me and said, "That didn't hurt."  When taking away something, he will say, "I'm telling Daddy on you."

Where did I get this child from?

Yesterday, at the soccer tournament, our principal came to Josh and said, "Josh, we really miss you at school."

Josh looks at him and says, "You do?  And who else?"

I told Sanj this conversation and he just shakes his head and says, "that is one egocentric child!"

I am forever trying to teach him manners and yet he seems to view it as an inconvenience.  Did my other boys have manners mastered at the age of 5?

Maybe at the tender age of 42 years old, I am just to old to be raising at 5 year old!  The child of mine sure does give me a run for my money.  I love him to death.  Despite the pain in the booty that he is, never have I experienced unconditional love in this way.  In the morning, as he wakes up, he will say, "Mommy, I want you."  This means, he wants me to turn my face to him, draw him close and snuggle him nose to nose, quite literally and he will fall back asleep for a bit.

He is forever touching me, my leg, my shirt, having some physically contact while I cook, type, read or sleep.  I am forever being told that he loves me.

So... I am wondering, is it natural to slack off and relax with the parenting with number 6?  Does the youngest turn out just as polite and mannered as the others, maybe by osmosis?

If you see my youngest and he forgets to say Thank  You or Please... please feel free to parent him.  I'll appreciate it!

I often say that Josh was given to me by God as instant birth control.  If he wasn't this pernickety babe... who knows if another  may have followed?!!!  YIKES!

Love you, Josh!  Please be a good boy!  Thank You!

Please and Thank You!

Today EVERYONE went to school!  Wahoo!  I went to work... Boohoo!  No, really after not going into the office for months thanks to summer holidays and the boys health issues... it was time.  There was a pile for me to catch up on and believe it or not, I did get it all done!  That felt good!

Being in the work world allows me to see a whole different world.  I see my husband working like a dog, gifted with patience of a saint.  No wonder his patience is running low by the time he gets home... these folks use it all up!  I see certain people walking in and his shoulders slump.  Warning: annoying, can't please them patient ahead.  I see his frustartion as a business man dealing with the government to pay him lots of money owed... yet if we owed them that... ha, you know they would be on us and unrelenting.

I see all sorts of people coming through the door.  Happy people, sad people, lonely people.  That last one made me sad.  There was this 91 year old lady that came in with her family.  Her birthday was yesterday and so she was surrounded by family.  They were leaving today.  She was so sad.  Her husband died some months ago.  She was like in the FBI or something cool in her day.  I just felt my heart ache.  How many lonely people are there out there?  How many seniors never get visits, touches of love or afftection?

Then I watched grown ups with out manners.  Unbelievable!  This lady walked in, did not turn around and hold the door for the lady with a walker just coming in behind her.  I was embarassed for her.  Do people still teach their children manners?  I am quite shocked at the lack the manners of today's kids.  I do care if I am thanked for having "you" over or giving  "you" a ride or whatever.  I do care if you say "please" or "thank you." 

We had some folks over and the kid said to me, "I want milk."  It was a demanding tone and there was no please or thank you.  The parents are folks that are very into their child's achievements.  I think that we, as parents today, need to take the time to teach or model this behavior.

This summer I took a friend's kid with me to the creek as the boys played.  The parents were working so I figured it would be a nice break.  The whole time, this child whined.  This isn't a little kid... but rather in middle school.  He complained and asked when we were going to leave.  I will be truthful... this did not sit well with me.  When I dropped him off at home... he just walked away... no thank you for lunch, the time to hang out... nothing.  Is it wrong of me to be distrubed?

My kids... I can only pray that they use their manners... but it is something that we instill ... I want my boys to say thank you for dinner.  I want them to appreciate the time I took to drive them to wherever ...  It is a simple sentence... "Thank you... " 

Does this bother you?  Sometimes I  feel a little old fashion.  Yet, i believe it matters... I love the reaction of people's faces when the boys go through a door and the boys stay back and hold it.  Josh loves holding the door open even though the door is as heavy as him half the time.


I think its funny when I wait for the boys, like Josh to say the appropriate response and he is lost as to what that response is.  Please, Thank you, Excuse, which one, Mom?


 Manners... they matter, really!

Welcome to My Office!

It's done, minus the pictures and wall hangings.  I love it.  I realized that I have always wanted to decorate a girls room... I feel so fulfilled having been able to do that, it's just a big girl's room.

I love the color red.  That has never changed in my decorating over the years.  I  feel light in this room, not burdened or frantic.  It has a calming effect.

Anyway, this is my office.  This is where you can image me writing from.  

The chaise is a great reading spot or a great spot to type on my laptop, or maybe a great spot for a nap! :)

Then I have a corner for reading, talking on the phone or hiding!

I have the extra spaces for friends to come and hang out or watch a movie.

I have to get pictures hung up and it will be complete.

I can't wait to start writing for real.  I have writing and sorted my book on paper or on my computer but I can't wait to actively write with a purpose.

This all wouldn't be possible without the generous, kind man that I am lucky to call my husband.  Thank You, Sanj!  You are such a gift to me in so many ways, that I can't imagine life with out you.  Thank you for my haven!

I love you.

My Sportsmen...

Sigh.  I should write that in caps.  SIGH!  Today was the kind of day that was endless, it seemed.  I dropped the boys off at school and came home and spent time doing laundry.  Josh was home, as I mentioned due to his health issues.  My painter was here to finish the room... and it looks FABULOUS!  (It's to dark to take an accurate picture when it is dark out so that will have to wait till morning).  

Then... I went to town to watch Tyler's football game.  I lost my breath as this ginormous fellow tackled Tyler  and dragged him a bit.  Of course, I refrained from running onto the field and tackling this fellow right back.  My son looked like a real football dude in his outfit.  I was a little taken back at the size of some of these giants my boy was playing against!  Wow!  What do they eat?

Then I left to pick up my younger crew, drop off my birthday money to the office for safe keeping for the bathroom funds and dealt with the "can we get a snack?" sing song.  I had to pay a bill on the other side of town that I am never at... so I did that, then we were off to pick out and finalize the carpet for Sanj's office  and Sammy's room in the basement.  (Did you know they had Berber carpet now that is guaranteed to not run)?  Then we stopped at Home Depot to pick up light bulbs we desperately needed and ordered pizza as we made our way to Sammy's soccer game at 4:45 p.m.

Can I sigh here again?  SIGH!  Then we stuffed our faces as we watched the TASS Soccer Team do their stuff.  Soon we were back into the van and had to stop at National Sports to pick up shin pads for Max and Jordan's soccer tournament.  That wasn't as quick as I thought as it was hard to find the right size, etc.

As I pay for the sports stuff, I am noticing the sun is already down, it is getting dark outside and I still have to do a few many more things before I can lay myself down for the night.  I remember why I love TV at night during the school year... it is because I am too tired to even read.  I need to vegetate and numb my brain.

Seven o'clock comes quickly and I am so grateful that my first two are asleep... so 3-4 will come and kiss me goodnight.  5-6 still have a bit of time but they are tired too and I will find them sprawled on my bed... watching hockey and doodling on the laptop.  They know if I hear any fighting, they will be off...  night night.  So this is the best behaved they will be all day.  :)

I haven't seen Sanj yet.  He was home while we were at the Soccer game, put the furniture back into my office for me and is off to the hockey draft.  Sounds like he is working with the NHL, doesn't it?  :)

I got a lot done today.  I feel good about that.  There is still the laundry that didn't get put away, there is some still in the dryer and washer and then there is the pile that needs to be washed.  Oh well, laundry is like pooping... you will always need to go... no matter how many times you go.  Laundry... there will ALWAYS be laundry, no matter how often  you do it!

The only thing I didn't get to was the paint store.  I had my painter (who is awesome, by the way), paint some red on the accent wall in the family room.  Sanj said I did it on purpose... to trick him... as he won't be able to stand seeing the family room looking like that too long... so he figures he will have to pay to have it done sooner than later.  Hum... wish I thought of that! lol

This house is suddenly feeling like home.  I can't wait to get it looking like mine.  Maybe that was the problem.  I love this house.  Yet when we moved in, all the colours were OK, they even went with our stuff, so I didn't have a reason to paint right away.  I guess I just never felt like I had made it my own.  I love colour and am not afraid of colour.  I guess my very neutral walls were tiring me out!  :)

Rain, Football, Soccer, Laundry, Diarrhea ...

I remember being a newlywed and playing this "game" with Sanj... If we were in a boat together and you could only save one person, who would you save, your mom or me?"  You've played it with different with different scenarios, right?

Last night as I was putting away laundry, the older boys and I were watching House.  I love House and haven't watched it in a long while.  I was surprised to see House and Cuttey together (finally) and even more surprised to see him soften when with her.


The episode was about parents making a choice.  They had to choice to shorten the life span of an already sick son so that they sister could live or do they do nothing and both children would die.


Sammy looked at me... "What would you do? If that was me and Max"  Funny... Max, my younger, easy going child who does not cause much grief or... Sammy!  Sammy had been a major pain in the butt all evening.  He kept harping... "What would you do??? You'd pick Max wouldn't you?"


Funny how life is, isn't it?  I told Sammy that was an impossible decision for a parent to make.  It was not even conceivable for me to think of an answer.  In the show, the son is ultimately the one that made the decision for all, including his sister.


Sammy came down this morning, still on the question.  He asked Sanj.   Sanj looked at him and said with a smile, "Of course, we'd pick Max, you have already lived a nice life longer than Max!"


That shut Sammy up!  lol


My office is almost done.  This afternoon I'll be able to put the furniture back in.  I'll post a picture... but it will be with out the wall hangs and pictures up.  I am ready to write.  Now I just need to get Josh back to school.


He is home today, again.  Last night he had a constant stream of diarrhea...  it was colorless... Josh said he has invisible poop.  Today had stomach pains.  Of course our doctor is out of town today.  I had a little fear go through me, wondering if it was appendicitis.  Probably not.  Yet the fear was there nevertheless.


I can't believe September is almost over.   Thanksgiving is just around the corner!  I am wondering if we can forget about the Turkey and all the traditional foods and cater Indian, like we did this weekend.  It was so simple and yummy!  I am going to suggest that my in-laws have Thanksgiving over there this year.  I usually do it... but think that it might be nice to just go and bring my couple of things and relax.  Or not.  I dunno.  My sister-in-law is busy with work.  My mother-in-law seems to be tired to do this... so ... where does it leave it?  Back to the idea of catering Indian food... sounds yummy!


Today the boys have games... thankfully Jordan and Max's soccer tournament is postponed till tomorrow.  Tyler has a football game at 1:30 p.m.  It is a rainy day, grey and foggy.  "Mommy, you are coming to watch, right?"  (Did you know that football is my least favorite sport?  I just don't get it... all the downs... WHY?)  I got into the van this morning and noticed that my sweet Sanj left me his huge golf umbrella.  


Then Sammy has a soccer game after school.  Did I mention it is rainy, cool, foggy and yucky outside?  It is the perfect day for laundry!


Sigh.  Guess I will be a soccer/football mom today and all day tomorrow!  Yahoo me!


I realize that God has a sense of humor.  He gave me six boys, all adorable and lovable and sports-loving!  Haha!


Oh well, it is all good.  I love my boys.  Maybe I'll be a football loving mama yet!

This and That...

It's Sunday afternoon... did the church thing... during the pastoral prayer, Josh was sitting beside me, patiently, eyes closed, then wiggling and then I finally hear him sigh... "Aw, how long is this prayer?"  Then within a few minutes we were praying again... Josh, "We're praying again???"  Yet he refuses to go to his class.  I can force him, but he is not happy in there at all.

The boys were after each other right after church... really?  I find it so frustrating... wondering again... WHY?

Sanj was off to IKEA to finish the purchases for my office.  I am so excited.  Tomorrow it gets painted!  I am so grateful our painter could fit us in so soon!  I wouldn't have been able to stand it too wait!  

Lots of projects are on the go, now.  Funny, how I just needed a little inspiration.  I can't wait to tackle the family room next.  I have the accent wall which I will paint red too and the rest of the room will be a warm creamy color.  I have a sofa and chair that we bought for our sun room in the last house for sale... it is rattan from Pier 1... Just doesn't fit in the family room.

Then there will be the kitchen to paint next... though I am not sure what that color will be ... and then the main entrance... which will be a HUGE job and no doubt quite expensive as we will need scaffolding.

Oh well, finally, I am making the home ours.  :)  I went through our storage space/stash everything that doesn't have a spot place... and emptied box upon box.  You know those boxes you pack at the last minute not sure what to do with the stuff... well, I trashed much of it and have a little pile for Value Village too.

I plan on writing this week.  I just have to purchase Word for my computer.  I am so excited! Everyone wants to be in my room.  I guess I don't blame them as it is pretty fantabulous!

As you can see, my office is quite a hit to my babes to lounge too.  Sammy saw my excitement over my office and said, "I still want suppers in the evening!"  Huh?  Sanj looked at him and said, "Who are  you talking to?  Never talk to a woman that way!"  lol

My birthday came and went ... I had a fabulous day and then some.  Friday night we had a party of sorts.  I have a project I am working... renovating the primary bathrooms at the boys school.  I asked if my friends would donate money in lieu of a gift or bring food...  Sanj and I catered a delicious Indian dinner.  Thanks to the generousness of my friends so far we have $700!!! Awesome, isn't it?!!  (if you want to contribute just email me... sukreema@hotmail.com).

Of course this sparked another idea... to do an Indian Dinner as a fundraiser.  My brother groaned and was not impressed.  See, this was one of my father's ideas.  He had my mom cook (all by herself) a full Indian dinner, then coached us as to what to say and made us sell tickets... to raise money for our tuition.   I admit, I was embarrassed just as much as my brother... but I am revamping the idea.

Indian food is a hit right now and very trendy.  We do not have a lot of options as far as Indian restaurants go, here in Peterborough.   It will be awesome, I am sure.  So I am so excited to put this together.  New bathrooms, here we come!

Anyway,  the weekend is almost over.  Busy week ahead but I am ready for it.  :)

Hope you have a great week!

September 23...

It's my birthday!  I love this day!  It is the day that I was given a chance.  That's really a gift that I need to remind myself of often.  My mom tells the story of how she gave birth to me... she had to have a C-section.  They wrapped me up and my dad picked me up and walked home.  (We just lived down the road from the hospital in India).

I love that visual.  I love knowing that in those hours of my birth that my dad was enamoured by me.  I love that he wanted me home.  I love the thought of being in his arms. 

September 23, I even like that date... on paper it looks pretty, doesn't it?  lol  I love that it is the middle of fall and just a cheery day!

Sanj asked me the other day, why  I love my birthday... I get so excited...how come?  I love it!  It is just a day I allow myself the feeling of specialness.  Not in a conceited way... but rather I love a day that is about me.  I plan to be with people I love... my friends and my family.  I don't ever cook on this day... I don't do much aside from enjoy myself.

What does that entale?  Well, breakfast with some friends (which included a piece of cake... YUM!) fiddle on the computer, lunch with my hubby (I marked it in his book so really it is his special treat... a full lunch off and with me to book)!  Then the afternoon I will spend it shopping a bit for my new office... :) and planning my little party tomorrow.  Then we will go out to supper... cake will be in this day somewhere... I love birthday cake!  I love white birthday cake.  The boys were hinting for a chocolate cake.  Another part of my day that makes it extra special is the little notes from all my friends on Facebook and email etc. I love the calls from my special people that take time to send me their love.

Last night Sanj and a couple of boys came home with the loot.  All along, Sanj kept asking me what I wanted for my birthday.  My answer has been consistent.  THE OFFICE.  He kept asking me... "Are you sure?"  I have never been more sure!  


He comes home and says, "You present is in the office."  He is such a silly man.  There on the desk lay the DVD series of "THE OFFICE."  Haha!  Sanj was very pleased with himself!   :)


Then Sanj and the boys began bringing in the "stuff!"  My White Chair, The Desk, A Chaise Lounger...  SWEET!  My office is looking so great already!!!  Then Sanj walks in with a big box.  I literally gasped.  He got me a huge iMac to write my book on.  (And watch girlie movies in my girlie room).


I actually felt my heart pounding rapidly.  I feel like it's all falling into place.  I am ready to write.  I feel my fingers itching to do that dance with the keyboard.  I feel ready... I am ready.


I ended the day off (after going to youth group with the boys for parent night and missed Greys!!!)... I ended the day talking to one of my besties.  Life is good.  Life is very good.


If you have love in your life... true love of family and friends... it doesn't get much better than that, does it?


Thanks to all who made my day very special with your love and friendship.
(My dad even called and left a message!)

I Believe in Zeus...

Do you believe... in God?  Yesterday I was talking to someone that doesn't believe.  He told me he believed in Zeus.  Really?  Of course he was making fun.  His point is that Zeus is just about as real as God.

I believe.  Of course I have moments of doubt... actually seconds of doubt because then I have an unbelievable panic attack.  See, I choose to believe that God is real... I believe this with my whole being.  I believe that at the end of the day, He has my back.  I believe in a future that is perfect... one that isn't here on earth.  Ever lost a babe?  That is why heaven will be so beautiful.  Mamas and babies will be together forever.  Ever felt pain so deep it is beyond painful?  That is why heaven will be so beautiful.  Then there are those children that lost their parents, too soon, way too soon.  Heaven will be their gift.

I believe in a God that loves me so much that it hurts.  Is that crazy?  I need to feel connected with my God.  When I don't I feel off.

So, how do I explain to someone that doesn't believe, that has closed their mind to the remote possibility that there is a God?  Zeus?  Really?  Well if Zeus makes you feel loved, cherished and protected, then hey, I guess Go for it.

I don't know why God puts me in these situations.  I suck at it.  I find myself rambling.  I can hear the stress oozing out of my voices as I don't want to mess it up.  Tyler is there with me.  He says, "My youth pastor can answer all these questions."  Thanks Tyler... BUT Dave, you were not here!!!

He asked why there are so many of 'them' and they all think their belief system is correct.  He kept calling the Bible that Book.  This was all disturbing.  I couldn't form an answer that made him understand enough to believe.  Of course he seemed to have his mind set.  He seems to see religion, faith, a belief  as a waste of time.  Yet then, why Zeus?

So, I am not sure what the answer is that would give him that Ah... moment.  I guess first he would have to open his mind.  Second, I will pray that God touches him in such a profound way that he does not have to question it... simply because he will feel it.  Third, God, could you please save me from these moments?  They stress me out!  PLEASE!!

So... if you believe, say a prayer with me... that those that need to feels God's love and presence are about to experience that all in God's time.

Rain Rain Go Away! Please...

Last night I didn't get home till 10 pm, some of the boys were still up (they never seem to settle when I am gone).  I did this and that and then went to bed.  I was restless all night.  I guess I was scared I wouldn't wake up in time... as I had to be in Cobourg by 7 am for Josh's teeth surgery.

I hate when I have a restless night.  It is so frustrating!  Then at 3:30 a.m., Josh, who had made his way back to our bed, sat up.  Then the eruption.  Vomit.  Again.   Three different times.  Ugh.  My poor baby.  Well, the surgery is off till we can get another date which is not till the new year.  So, we are home again.  I wonder what bug he has?  I really hope and pray that my other kids don't get it.  

I am very tired.  I really need a nap today.  Maybe Josh will lie down later and we can snuggle and snooze... the perfect thing to do on a rainy day!  

Tomorrow Jordan and class head up to Silent Lake for a few days camping.  Yet the weather is calling for lot of rain.  I know I really shouldn't worry as they will have fun regardless yet I hate the thought of any of my kids cold and alone at night.


Please Dear God, I know You have lots going on... but I am here with my weather prayer, again.  My little man who isn't so little is off to the great outdoors... please bless them with wonderful weather.  May they have it all... swimming weather, good sleeping at night weather with not too many bugs.  Keep them safe.  Thank you so much.
Love 
Reema

Today Tyler has his first football game for high school.  It will be rainy and cold too.  I had to sign this packet for forms for him to play.  No kidding... it was a booklet.  Wow!  Guess everyone is covering all the bases.

It's evening now... and I am feeling very melancholy.  How come?  Not sure.  I am very tired and didn't get that nap.  I feel like doing nothing except burying myself deep into my covers and wishing the world away.


I am so sad that my book is finished.  It was so good and I have found myself thinking of the characters... such as what happens to Skeeter after the end of the book?  Where do her life take her?  I am still talking about "The Help"... such great writing that makes the character come alive.  I totally saw into their kitchens and bedrooms.


All in a day... I am single parent tonight as Sanj is off to a couple of meetings.  Dancing with The Star is on... maybe I'll indulge in TV tonight as I have no book.  Any book suggestions?

Blocked!

I haven't written in a while... not sure why.  Life seems to be so full of stuff to do and yet nothing exciting in all the stuff.  I took a hiatus while my Josh was sick.  I am so glad that he is better...  and yet better is relative, isn't it?  Now he seems to have caught a cold.  This boy has been so healthy forever.  Tomorrow he is supposed to have surgery on his teeth.  I am feeling a little stressed over this.  Maybe the stress is more about logistics.  I just hate when they (any of my kids) has to go under...

Tonight Tyler and I are off to the gym at 7 p.m.  Then I have a meeting at 8:30 pm tonight.  Josh and I are supposed to be in Cobourg by 7 a.m. in the morning.  Ugh.  Maybe my stress is also feeling tired over it all.  I am not a morning person....  I can't even fake it.

Anyway, life!  It is a crisp, fall day out and looks so lovely!  I love fall.  It is my favourite season.  The temps are perfect... not to hot and I love sweater weather.  I just finished a great book!  The Help is on my list of all time favourites.  It is a must read!  I just saw that it will be turned into a movie.  I am so sad when a good book ends.  :(  I guess when you totally feel the characters, it is as if you are losing a friend.  I LOVED THIS BOOK!


My birthday is coming!  3 more sleeps!  I love my birthday!  I just love having a day all about me.  Well... I love gifts from my hubby... last night as the boys were watching Home Improvements... Tim gave his wife ball room dancing lessons.  Sanj looked at me and asked if I wanted lessons?  Ha!  Well, I wish I was brave enough to do it but I would be too self conscious as I have no rhythm at all.  I would look very foolish! :)  


So... off to the drawing board Sanj will have to go again.  Actually, he is the best at giving gifts. Maybe that is why I love my birthday... lol  Birthdays growing up sucked.  I guess I love giving each of my boys and my husband a day that is special just for them.  Some years it is easy to accomplish the awesome birthday and other years it is the effort that counts. 


Today I spent the day doing laundry.  It  feels good.  I am not a person that does a bit every day.  I wish I was but I am not.  So... it felt so good to know that there is clean undies in everyones' drawer.  :)


Supper tonight consisted of fish (tilapia) with lemon rice and green beans.  I am psyching myself for the early morning ahead of me.  Josh has had a runny nose.  The folks at the hospital told me to bring him in anyway and they would assess him then.  Maybe they don't realize that I am not in town.  I guess I am hoping this will be done and over with since we are going anyway.


Already this blog is boring me... but I am hitting publish as at least I wrote again!  Maybe tomorrow my writer's block will have melted away. 

Poop and Vomit...

Week two of school... the first week went off without a hitch.  All the boys seem to be adjusting to the new year... with the exception of the waking up part!  

Josh did the first day of SK and then came home to throw up.  He has been sick since then.  He seems to be fine  during the day and then wee hours of the morning he throws up... all his food has been sitting there undigested.  My poor sweet baby.  We went to the doctor's but it is just a bug that has to run it's couse, it seems.  This weekend he added diarrhea to his symptoms.


We were out of town this weekend, off to Simcoe, where Sanj grew up.  His best friend's family still is there.  His friend was in town and so we went for a visit.  Josh seemed better... that was the key... seemed!  On the way home, we stopped at Toys R Us to buy a birthday present for a kid.  The boys came in with me to get a treat.  Sanj was running over to the store across the road.  (This should have been my warning....)


We are looking at the Spiderman toys and  the Star Wars toys.   You know, the isle that is boy heaven?  I look at Josh and he is standing still, a look of pure distress on his face.  "I didn't feel it," he says.  He had diarrhea that just ran through him, down his pants onto this shoes and the floor.   Is this for real?  The other boys are making noises... and I am standing still, in shock.


I tell Sammy to go get me paper towels... he comes back with a PIECE of paper towel.  Josh is dripping with any movement.  This is one of those moments that I feel as if the crew from Candid Camera will pop out and say, "Gotcha!"


I stole a pack of wipes (well I did pay for them later), went to the bathroom and did the best I could, the boys retrieved Josh's extra clothes and off we went to the check out... no harm except me in need of a bath since the soap dispenser in the bathroom was empty.  Ugh.


Sanj looks at me, with one of those looks which can be interpreted as "I am so sorry... but not really as I am so glad that it was you and not me!"


I am waiting for this too pass.  Yesterday, in the van Sanj and I yelled,  "Nooooooooooo" in slow motion as Jordan and Zach were sharing a drink... the drink that happened to be Josh's.


Motherhood.  Poop, vomit and all that lovely stuff in between.  I could have done nursing after all! :)

First Day...

First day of school... comes with many a traditions... one being the back to school picture with the usual "Aw Mom, do we have to?" picture.  They look so big.  Sanj looked at the picture and said, "There doesn't seem to be so many of them now that they are bigger!"  Funny, eh?

It was a good day for all.  Josh wasn't to thrilled about going back, complaining that "school's too long."  He was very happy to be in his suit finally, though.  As usual, the other boys were appauled that his choice of clothing was something they would never wear! lol

Zachary, Max and Jordan all went off to their various rooms like the pros that they are.  It was a little upsetting to walk up the stairs to Max's class... where the older kids are.  When did he get that big?  Or really, is he that big?  How weird to see Jordan with the oldest kids.  I was not liking this to much.

Then there was Tyler, my second son to head off to high school.  He did great, was excited and survived.  Sammy was a true big brother and was full of helpful hints on the various teachers and classes.

So, it was a day back at school.  I found myself feeling very emotional.  Tears were a blink away and the knot in my throat was huge!  I went to breakfast with moms from the school... each year this group grows.  I think there was 17 moms there today!  Then I headed over to to the office... checking out what there was awaiting me...  surprise... there actually was a lot.  So stuck around there and did some work.  I will likely go back tomorrow and try to catch up so that I can really put in my couple of hours after this week! :)

Everyone came home in one piece and tired but with "good" as the reply when asked how their day was.

So here we go... 270 days give or take a few till summer vacation!  :)

All in a day!  It is 8:30 pm and all my babes are asleep... (except Sammy who is off at tryouts).  The house is quiet except for the sweet sounds of snores.  Tomorrow is another day!

I look at the picture of them... all 6 of them... and feel at a loss of how is it possible that I am mother to all these lovlies?  Do you ever have that moment?  Sometimes I don't feel old enough!  Sometimes I feel too old.  I love them so much.  It was so good to just have them home again.

Misunderstood

Over the weekend we had company and lots of time to chat about various things.  Of course the topic of my blog comes up as this is my baby. 

Here is a blog to clear up misconceptions:

1.  I write solely for me...my thoughts, feelings and emotions are best expressed through my writing.  Before blogging, I have kept journals for years.  I love being able to read back and see life through my eyes today.  I love seeing God's hand in my life.  I love seeing anwered prayers.  I love seeing His presense in my life.  So, I write for me and my kids.  Someday, I love the idea of the boys having a journal of my thoughts and feelings.

My brother has been writing a blog for years.  He made me laugh with his writings.  I decided that if my brother could have a blog, so could I.  I am always flattered by those that take time to read and comment on this space.  It means so much to me.  I have always asked God to use me... and He has taken me to task and used my blog.  For this I am grateful and flattered.  God continues to teach me through those that read and comment too.  I love the relationship I have with my blog readers.  I have been taught so much from keeping a blog, one of the biggest is that I have a deep love for writing.  I want to spend the rest of my life doing this...  I love when I write something and it makes sense!

Yet as I love my readers, I have always tried to stay true to me.  I have many times written things thinking that is what they, my readers want to hear... yet am forced to delete and ultimately write and be true to me.

2.   It is true... I will often write about people in my life.  I don't just write the good and pretty but am complelled to often write the bad and ugly.  Please know that it isn't about you.   If it is about you, there will be no doubt that it is you, I assure you.  99% of the time, if I write about someone, they don't read my blog... though I wish they did. lol

I was surprised to find that some people... yes you... thought I was berating them.  I read back the  blog and didn't see it.  I was troubled  by the thought that this may have hurt them.  I am so sorry for the misunderstanding.  If it is about you, I will let you know!

So often I get little notes of apologies in case it was them who hurt me... while I love you for them and they make me laugh... you are one of the good guys...and therefore feel my pain and react.  So sweet... and I that about you.  It's the bad guy that doesn't get it and there for doesn't bother fixing it!  :)

3.  My cousin(in-law) read a blog about Marriage Lease and commented on it.  Her comment didn't make sense to me but I shrugged and let it go.  She didn't like the concept of Marriage LEASHING... putting a hubby on a leash!  Sheesh!!!  See what I mean about misunderstanding?

Then there are comments that I get that I am not sure what to do... Sanj often says, "just let it go."   I don't want to let it go.  Yet, I do appreciate the comments so, bring them on.  Oh, you what an example of a comment?  Here is one that was made recently in response to my Marriage Lease here is a comment that left me literally speechless, I had to phone Sanj and read it to him:

"I really do feel sorry for women. And I really do mean this. Not in a rude way or in jest but I really do feel sorry for you. You drive yourselves crazy wondering why a man doesn't know what you want. Why the answer is quite simple. WE ...HAVE NO CLUE!!! With each new day that I am married to one I realize how much most of you really don't know what you want from minute to minute. Most men have very basic needs and wants. They may vary slightly from man to man but never the less they are basic. Simple if you will. Food, the need to feel like they are providing and protecting and throw in some sex from time to time. They go though everyday with pretty much the same needs. A womens wants and needs seem to change by the minute. I am not trying to put women down at all. Like I said before I really do feel sorry for you. My wife gets frustrated at herself just as much as she does with me. It use to make me more angry but now I just except it and try to roll with the punches because at the end of the day men will always think like men and women will always think like women...Next time you get frustrated at Sanj for not knowing what you want ask yourself how often you know what you want. Men really do want to make a women happy but for the most part we have no clue how. Unfortunetly men have a bad trait and that is giving up more easily then we should. After a short period time (not to mention 16 years) we throw up the white flag and want to beg for mercy. Please love us anyways and help us to love you and not critize us for not getting it."

Written by a reader in response to Marriage Lease.

This is what I mean by misunderstanding what I said?

Sigh... so I really wanted to write and apologize for any misunderstandings.  I wanted to thank you for reading and commenting.  I love it when you do... even when I get comments like the one above... they keep my juices flowing!

Much love,

Reema

Oh... PS... Joel S.  I do appreciate you, even if we are in disagreement! ;)

One More Sleep...

(Josh, last year, first day of JK)

I feel like writing... despite the fact that I still need to finish up some laundry, help the boys with lunches and tidy up a bit more... I need to write.  Today, I took the boys to our sweet hairdresser, who did their hair at home, knowing a back to school haircut is important to mom and boys in high school.

We then went to East Side for lunch/supper and then it was back home.  Sammy is off trying out for AA Hockey.  He is such a sport.  I love that he can love a game, try to move up and yet totally enjoy the effort even if the results aren't always what he wants or hopes for.

I have a pain in my chest.  I am pretty sure it is not a heart attack but rather an ache.  I am really sad about summer ending.  If I dig deeper, I am feeling life going to quickly.  I am feeling the loss of childhood as my boys don't fit into my arms anymore.  Panic and yet not even panic but rather a yearning for time to slow down a bit.  I so love being with my boys.  Despite the fact that one minute they are name calling and mud slinging and I am pulling my hair wondering where I went wrong... I love the love that is always there, just seconds after.

My hairdresser, Helena, was asking how do I do it?  I responded that I am not the perfect mommy... I have my share of yelling and freaking out.  She responded that there is much love there for the boys that they can forgive the freaking fest and just turn around and love because love is felt and known.  What a beautiful thought, isn't it?  What a reassurance that I am doing OK if they still can love me after the storm.

My friend's son went to University today.  I can't stop thinking about it.  I remember that day so clearly.  I remember the huge lump in my throat as I waved bye to by brothers.  That part was no fun... leaving them.  Yet I remember the moments of driving up to campus, my dorm room and feeling the fear that was so good ... knowing that I was there...  Oh... it was such good times.

Yet... my boys are just years from this.  I think that this is contributing to my ache.  I think of next year when Josh is full time.  I think of next year Jordan graduating from grade 8... soon 3 of my babes will be in high school.

So maybe the best way to describe the ache in my heart is the beauty of my life with my family.  I love them each, Sanj, Sammy, Tyler, Jordan, Maxwell, Zachary and Joshua with every bit of my heart.  I love my God for the gift of family.  I love my God for answering my prayer of 30 years ago... for a happy family.

My heart is aching...  and while my boys don't fit into my arms anymore... I am so thankful that God gave moms hearts that can hold their boys no matter how big they get.

One more sleep...