What Next?

Despite how I am really feeling today... which is in one word GRUMPY (thanks to the RIDICULOUS weather), I am challenging myself to write a positive blog.

What can I say?

One of the facts of being ADHD (which is actually ADD with hyperactivity) is that in one day there is a constant flurry of activity in this mind of mine. It never seems to stop. I have so many ideas that pass through my mind... at this present time ... seeking for the right answer of what will be my next step?

I mean beyond the puppies, homework, after-school activities, gym and my tea parties (as Sanj loves to call them... despite that fact that I really dislike tea).

September is looming ahead of me with anticipation, fascination, frustration and exhilaration.

I am full of anticipation the next phase of life... a house full of school going children... from high school all the way down to JK.
I am full of fascination as I work hard to find fulfillment in this new phase of my life. I know that isn't going to be hard but...
I am full of frustration simply because there is SO MUCH I want to do. How do I know? I am listening, Lord...
I am full of exhilaration simply because it is really my turn. I have a husband that supports me in all my endeavors even the most ridiculous, far-fetched ones. I have lived my life for my children... now a few hours a day... I can be about ME! What a feeling of exhilaration I feel... and yet...

I am full of trepidation. I worry about Josh and the transition of cutting the cord though I know I went through this with each one. I worry about taking on too much and still juggling it all. I worry about contributing to our family financial (though this is not a pressure from Sanj)... yet all my dreams of full of big what if and definitely not with any guarantees. I know it is all a risk and life is too short. But yet...

So I find myself trying to SLOW DOWN... find what Step # 1 is and take that first step.
So I find myself trying to calm the racing excitment that I feel pulsing through my blood.
So I find myself trying to just stop for this moment... sign off and just finish the dishes.