Feeling Good... Really Good!

I love the weekend.  I will admit that often the weekends are just as busy yet there is something that still gives permission to do less than if that desire is there!

I am still reading the book "A Fine Balance."  I know so many of you wrote that you loved it.  I can't say that I am loving it... surprisingly.  It is so depressing... all of it... all the characters.  There does not seem to be light at the end of their tunnel.  I will be glad to finish it.  I will need a seriously light beach read after it.

I have a lot of projects on the go right now.  They are all consuming.  Remember the bathrooms in our school that I want to renovate?  Well, it is a very slow process.  I hate that every little idea has to be "approved," thought through and often comes with things that just annoy me.  I am not a patient person.  I just want to see things through.  Move on!!!  So, there are a lot of fundraisers happening in the next month or two so see this through so that the boys bathroom will be done by the new year!  Yes!  It will feel so good!

November 13th is the Indian Dinner Fundraiser.  A Taste of India!  It is occupying my mind.  Today I called to see how much renting an elephant from a zoo would be?  It is something that many Indians do for their weddings here in the bigger city.

This is a picture of Cesar...

Image how willing people would be to dress up in a sari (this is a feature that will be available)... and stand by Cesar for a photo?  I would love it!  I am sure it is a pretty penny to do this, for them to bring this elephant to Peterborough for an evening.   I also had the idea of getting our photographer to come  and do a family picture with the ellie.  It would be a different Xmas photo this year!  :)  

Sigh.  Going hand in hand with the Indian Dinner is redecorating our house, one room at a time.  My office inspired me to get going at it.  

I am working on the family room.  I have a crazy color scheme...  with accents from India.  You know, those pillows with the sequins and sparkles.

Anyways, I am really excited about the process and yet a little scared of the color... till it is actually on the wall in a large swatch so I can see if I love it!

I have quit taking my crazy pill for a few weeks now.  I know, I am doing the typical thing, stop taking it because I am feeling good, yet it is likely that the reason I am feeling good is because of that crazy happy pill.

Yet the funny thing is I feel like me again.  I didn't know I wasn't feel like me till now.  I am back to myself though.  Juggling a bunch of crazy big projects all at the same time and loving it and feeling myself shine.

I am not sure what this will mean.  Nor do I recommend it.  I am very aware that a major meltdown can be around the corner.  Yet, at the same time, I feel that maybe I am "feeling" better.  My happy pill was a necessity after the craziness of my dad "rising from the dead."  I came home after that week of true family craziness, feeling very black and not wanting to go on.

3-4 years later, slowly, I keep setting boundaries for myself.  I know that if someone is hurtful or threatening, it is OK for me to walk away and not feel guilty.  Even if that is family.  Wow... that has taken years, literally to do.


My mom called me tonight, saying that my  dad is wondering why I haven't called him.  He is here in TO at my brother's.  My response was, "Well, how come he hasn't called me?"  He thinks that because he called me on my birthday... I should call him.


Um... no.  I am feeling so much better about the boundaries that are up.  My family will all be together for my middle brother's kid's dedication.  They don't understand boundaries and the need for it... obviously.


I feel good.  I feel safe.  My dad will be here on Saturday night- Monday morning... as he is going back with my youngest brother... to DC.   A little more than 24 hours.  My brother will be here.  Sanj is away till Monday morning... so that will be good too.   It is very stressful to add Sanj to the mix with my dad.  (He does not like him... duh... but it just adds more tension for me).


So... as I was saying... I feel like maybe my crazy pill/my happy pill was sucking some of me away.  Funny... I only confessed to Sanj today that I stopped taking it... He was exhausted listening to the endless flow of energy and chatter of all my ideas.  He looked at me and said so lovingly,  "Um, do you think you could go back on that pill?"  :)


We will see.  I guess I shouldn't be self-diagnoisising myself.  Oh well...

My TO DO LIST!

I have a little exhausted.  I never feel my tiredness as long as I was in motion.  It is when I stop, lay down with my Josh, or to just stop for a bit that I realize that I am exhausted.  Yet at the same time, being in the midst of a project or at the moment, 5 projects... feeds me.  I love the excitement of seeing things falling into place.  I usually take this as a sign that God is in control and has my back.

I already told you that my biggest task at hand is to have the primary bathrooms in our school renovated.  It seemed simply,  yet when you have to rely on others, it never is simple.  So, I have been busy finding creative ways to raise funds.

Here is my schedule for the next 6 weeks:

This Wed.... Spaghetti lunch for the kids at school

Wed.-Sun---  Sanj is off to California for a "conference."  (Yes, you are sensing bitterness.. as I never have been there yet....)

Frid-Monday of this  week... my brother and family will be here and Tyler and Sammy are away at a Youth Conference.  That is just this week coming.

November first weekend, Sanj is off again.  Texas, I think.

November 13th is the day of the much anticipated Taste of India.  A fundraiser... a buffet style Indian feast, complete with Indian music and hopefully dance.  My mind is going a little crazy, since I heard that a zoo, an hour or so from here will bring animals.  An elephant would be so awesome, but obviously couldn't be in the gym with us eating... but.... wait for it.... what about a Bengal Tiger... in its cage... think of the ambience it would bring???  Sanj thinks I am just playing... but I really am going to make a call tomorrow.  How could would it be?  Then I have the thought of a friend of Sammy's (a kid that is quite a ham) to walk around being the snake charmer?  Hehe!

Anyways, busy, I am, selling tickets and getting all the stuff to come into place for this exciting event.  (Tickets are selling fast... $40... message me if  you want tickets...)

THEN... there is the weekend I am so LOOKING FORWARD TO!  November 18-22 it is MY TURN!!! I am going to meet my bests for a weekend away.  Sigh.  I am so looking forward to this as I know I will be so refreshed, mentally, spiritually, and physically... it was what we do for each other!  I went out and bought us matching pyjamas... just because!

Then I come back to have Sanj's cousins coming for US Thanksgiving... one of the boys' favourite family members.  They will be here the week!  Nothing like family....

THEN.... December 4th... is a Craft Sale that will be successful, despite my allergies to crafts!  I am rallying up the troops to pull this off... as the lady that normally does it is dealing with so much right now.... so money for bathrooms... and hopefully next year she will be ready to take back the wheel.

Then hopefully at this point, the monies will be there to demolish and rebuild the boys bathroom over the weekends in December!  I am SO EXCITED!  I am so glad that I won't have to touch anything to make this happen.  Ewww...  Nasty!

Of course add the usually, hockey, school, homework and you can see why my mind has been running.  Then there is the HUGE potential with Mrs. Phuc.  It, if it all comes to play, is going to be crazy and yet so amazing.

I am so excited at the possibilities that God has placed in our path.  He even cares about the little stuff, like fundraising and bathroom renovations.  How I love Him!

If you are looking for a way to receive a tax reciept for all your monies collecting dust, or just want to be part of an amazing thing... please email me at  sukreema@hotmail.com and I will be glad to give you our school info.

I feel better writing this all down!  Oh... November 9 I have surgery (to deal with my crampy issues) and then November 11 and 17th and birthdays for Max and Jordan.

Let's not forget... Christmas shopping... too!

I love the weekends... Gotta stop and just refuel for Monday again!

Happy Weekend!

The Girl in the Picture...

Do you know this picture?  She is known as "The Girl in the Picture," or as the Napalm girl in Vietnam.  Her name is Kim Phuc.   This picture was taken by Nick Ut, who eventually won a Pulitzer Prize.   A picture says a thousand words... or more.  A little girl, age 9, running naked down the road, after she torn her clothes off that were on fire from the napalm.

Today I had the privilege of having lunch with her and my friend, Darlene (who has known her for years).  How can I explain what I experienced today?  This incredible lady, mother of 2 boys, wife to a "wonderful" husband.  She travels around the world telling her story of recovery, forgiveness and courage.

We am hoping to bring her to Peterborough to speak, a fundraiser for the school.  Yet suddenly as I was a dinner with friends, I realized that this is the kind of experience that we need to make available to every one.  It is such a honour to have her... if she is willing... in our town.  She has a foundation... that helps children effected by war.  This would  be something that we would give back to ... with some of the monies raised.... oh the ideas!

It was just such a incredible afternoon.  I wanted to write about it... really write about it.  Yet, words... they seem to have failed me.  If you get the chance to hear her tell her story... grab hold of that opportunity.

How to Cook the Perfect Turkey?

It's  Wednesday, 12:21 in the afternoon.  On my kitchen floor are all the things I need to make Chicken a la King.  This was a dish they made in the cafe at university and I loved it.  It is a cool, fall day, gorgeous, actually.  So, I am home, hating that the clock is ticking faster than I wish.  There are so many things that I need to do and yet 2:20 will be here and I will need to pick up my high school crew.

Canadian Thanksgiving is this weekend.  This means 2 Thanksgivings for me to see to.  There is the one we do as a school.  It is Thanksgiving Lunch we put on for seniors that may or may not have a dinner with family.  The younger kids sing and do  a little program.  The gym is set to a dining room with glass ware and the whole 9 yards!  I love this day.  I love the air that is charged with friendly banter between moms, the smell of home cooked food and the excitement in the air.

It is a busy morning.  Setting up, heating up the food, making sure all the stuff is ready (one year we forgot to cook the veggies... it the last minute)!  Seniors always come early.  12 o'clock is what the invite says.  Every year, 11 o'clock in comes a little lady, eager to grab her spot.   So cute!

We make enough food to feed the staff, the grade 8s that help and all the helpers.  It is quite the gig.  Then there are the dishes.  I have to admit, seeing the piles of plates, saucers, silverware...sends my heart racing.  It is a HUGE pile.  Thank goodness for many hands and big hearts that make light work.

Then there is the weekend... the Norwood fair, which the boys often have their stuff from school displayed there.  Last year we went, it was FREEZING!  We may even hit the pumpkin patch.  Sanj hates this kind of stuff.  Sometimes I let him off the hook and leave him with the older ones.  They usually hit the golf course, if the weather permits.

Monday, my in-laws are coming here for our Thanksgiving Dinner.   I have gotten so used to doing it.  Yet, year after year, I always google "How to make the perfect turkey."  I am hoping to come across that "thing" that will make the meat tastier.  Indians as a whole are not partial to white meat.  One year, I cooked a bunch of turkey legs with the turkey.  It was a 6 legged turkey!

I have never brined a turkey before.  Have you?  There is the wet method and the dry method.  Does it make a difference?  I will likely try it this year.  Did you know that there are 2 kinds of people?  Those that have made a turkey and those that haven't.  They are actually frightened to make one.  If you are one of those folks, you really should grab the bull (or turkey) by the horn (or beck) and do it!

Yet I guess if you have a family home to go to, there is no need, eh?   My mother-in-law is too tired and feels unwell all the time to tackle this.  I am looking up cranberry sauce recipes too.  Here's one I may try.  I like the thought of the orange in it.  One recipe even added walnuts.


Then there's stuffing.  I love Stove Top.  I am not even going to lie or be embarrassed about this.  It is what I had at home.  I am not sure that we even had turkey dinners till I was a teen.  Usually we would have a Indian feast!  Yum!  ( I am still partial to this over turkey dinners, but my mother-in-law prefers and voices her preference to this meal).  My mom only started making (learning) the traditional Thanksgiving meal after we had our nursing home in my teens.


Sanj loves the turkey best after it has been de-boned and sauteed with onions and lots of spices... eat this with some rice and dahl... yum.  Guess you can't take the Indian out of me!


At our house, we still used paper plates.  I hate dishes.  Oh, I spend the extra dollars and get the pretty ones that they have at Hallmark or such.  With so many of us, the added guests just make that job more bothersome.


I hold the kids hostage at the table.  My nephew is a little eager beaver.  He can't wait to come, eat and then in 5-10 minutes be off to play!  I figure I have spent HOURS... literally, over the food.  They must at least pleasure us with their presence for a bit.    Then when they are free, there is the mad pounding of feet to go back to the games that they had to disentangle themselves from.  lol


AH... family and food.  Oh, and don't forget the thanks, there is always so much to be thankful for!


  

not to my mother

nobody tell my mom i wrote this blog ......                   well i guess thats it.....               bye obviously not from max....... remember don't tell my mother

Albums from the Past...

I was not happy to be woken at 7 a.m., my hubby was off to the gym.  Then, I hear the thump and then the running of feet.  Zach... up and not going back to bed.  WHY, OH WHY can this never happen on a school day?  Sigh.  

Hockey is starting up again.  Just one practice today... then Sanj has his game tonight.  Feels like summer was never here.  It is cool and brisk out.  The colours are beautiful.  Fall is here.  Soon, there will be snow!  Thanksgiving is next weekend.  This means a busy week!  At school, we (the Good Neighbour Committee) are putting on a Thanksgiving Lunch for Seniors.  A homemade Thanksgiving Dinner with all the trimmings.  I have 3 turkeys that need to be baked.  Last year we had a turkey come in with a note... "if still pink, nuke it."  Wow.. really?  Imagine all these seniors going home with food poisoning.  If you are going to do something, do it right, the first time... please!  :)

Oh well, the boys seem restless.  Fighting over silly stuff.  PLEASE!  How hard is it to love each other???

I was sitting in the family room, looking at albums.  I took lots of pictures even as a young person.  I was good about putting them in albums.  Guess I had a lot of time on my hands!

I was so young.  I look, really look at my face, at my expression and wonder what I was thinking in these pictures.  Most of them are from university days.  I seemed so carefree and happy.  I laughed a lot.  I had fun.  I love the pictures capturing those moments.  I hosted parties a lot.  I was always buying a cake and celebrating my friends' birthday or acceptance in to a school of their choice... always a party and a cake.  (Where did I get the money from?)

I felt so weird as I looked back into yesterday as to how many friends have died.  How strange to see that life cut so short.  I love that I have a picture capturing their smile.

I then went on to look at pictures of my wedding and being pregnant with Sammy.  Wow... I looked so young.  I was so young.  25-26 years of age isn't really that young... but I just know what I know now and wish that I felt that confidence in my heart back then.  


I was so enamored with Sanj.    I don't mean this is a bad thing... but see  back then, I am pretty sure I loved him much more than he loved me.  I mean, I loved him forever.  Sure that love was hidden behind friendship, but if he ever had suggested we take it past friendship, I was ready.  I was forever writing about him in my journals... asking God to let him be my prince charming.  Oh sure, I was alway crushing, even dating someone between the time we became friends... till we finally got together... but... this man always had my heart.


My bestie forbade me to write or call Sanj (she was friends with him too) again, till he made some effort in our friendship.  Pathetic, really, I was!  I was the one that kept our friendship alive for many sad years!


So, when I say that early in our marriage I was enamored by this man... that I loved him more, I am sure that it is the truth.  I saw him as my older (by almost 4 years), been working and got it together man.  I saw Sanj as so mature and way smarter than me. This intimated me for years.  I was in unfamiliar territory... moving here to Toronto.  We were with his friends, his family and his history.  I had no one here.  


Yet I loved him.  I was ready to leave my history behind as I was running from the unhappiness I grew up with and was ready to start a new start with the man I loved.  I am not sure when we became more equals.  Probably when I stood up to his parents one ugly day.  It was not a pretty scene.  Yet, I knew that I had to stand up or else my future was going to be one that was full of stuff I didn't want.


I think in that moment of standing up to my mother-in-law, I grew up.  I never really stood up to anyone else before.  Yet, having babes that I was responsible for made me brave and gave me courage that I didn't know I had.


That night, Sanj stood up for me too.  It was the first time that he choice his wife over his mother.  Wow... that was hard on everyone.


Yet that was the moment I learned that I was my husband's equal.  It was a defining moment for me, for us.


Looking at the pictures I saw myself grow up over the years. I can see us as a couple growing together.  I can see us growing deeper in love despite the changes in us... pounds added on, grey hair showing in more of the pictures, youth fading away as age starts to leave its mark.


I love this man.  I have loved him, it seems, forever.  I know he loves me just as much, if not more.  I mean, I have become so irresistible... right?  Thank goodness for pictures that can document our lives and love.

This Obviously Isn't Max!

This obviously isn't Max. My super, ridiculously good looking Max. Because if it was Max, Max would have said he's super good.  I say, he's  super ridiculously good.

    See I even made ( bought) this shirt.

Anyways, back to my really ridiculously, good looking son, Max.

I love his personality. He is the funniest kid you'll meet. There is nobody as funny and good looking as Max. 

He's nothing like his lazy, bad looking brothers, who have no sense of humor. He's just the perfect child. He is like a little super good looking angel sent from heaven.

He's got more friends than there are stars in the sky. He's cooler  then coolest guy on the universe. He's super athletic (good at sports). 

Just a quick  reminder, this obviously wasn't Max, who wrote this! By the way, did I mention that he's extremely good looking (with a exclamation point!